Oh, sure - you can just carry A BILLION THINGS in your backpack, Link? Actually - do you even HAVE a backpack? How are you carrying all that stuff? Hey, Link - let's add a little realism here. Your back should have snapped like a twig AGES AGO.

Also, people are really "impressed by" how much "courage" you have? Psh, in my experience it's more like "disgusted by" and "poison ivy rashes".



Oh, sure - Master Chief can run ALL DAY, while battling hordes of aliens? Sorry, Chief, but that's not the way it works in real life. In real life, you have to take a breather after going a block on your Rascal scooter. Myth BUSTED.

Also, REAL computers aren't hot naked blue ladies who like talking to you, even if you spend tens of thousands of dollars ordering custom rigs off Craigslist from irreputable sellers who make promises they can't deliver on.



Yeah, that's right - I'm calling "BULLSHIT" on all of this Mushroom Kingdom business. Trust me, I WOULD KNOW!




Oh, so the guy who never really went outside most of his life becomes really charismatic and likable in Fallout, but when it's ME, suddenly it's all "why are you carrying around dead bugs all the time?" and "no you can't drink out of my toilet."




I'm Commander Shepard, and this is the BIGGEST LIE ON THE CITADEL.