4. Rocko's Modern Life is even raunchier than you remember

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If you've been on the internet long enough and read articles like this one, you're probably familiar with a few examples of Rocko's most ribald episodes. The three crusty JPEGs of Rocko working at a phone sex line are probably older than a good chunk of readers at this point. But I think the show is still worth revisiting, if only because of just how much they pack into the scenes between those pictures covered in 9GAG and iFunny watermarks. 

Things get hairy in episode two of the whole series. When Mrs. Bighead feels like she's missing something at home, she attempts to seduce her neighbor Rocko. And when I say "seduce," I actually mean "put drugs in his drink." 

For those not familiar, "Spanish Fly" is a substance that has been claimed to be an aphrodesiac; it's really an irritant and makes your dick unnaturally swollen. Seriously, too much of this stuff will kill you and your penis, not necessarily in that order. Now, Mrs. Bighead's pill jars contain actual flies that seem to be actual Spanish stereotypes and that kind of dampens the effect, but she's still slipping "sexual" supplements into someone's drink without their knowledge or consent.

Really she should be in jail for the rest of the series, but the seduction continues in her bedroom. 

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Now re-read that and pretend Mrs. Bighead is showing Rocko her breasts instead of her eyes. It makes so much more sense it's creepy. 

This show always had a weird fascination with eyes. In another episode, a doctor has a... strange way of giving an eye exam.

Guys out there who have had a physical examination know that when a doctor asks you to turn your head and cough, they sure as hell aren't holding your eyeballs. 


5. 2 Stupid Dogs and 1 Semen Joke

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Compared to the depravity of Rocko and Gumball, this one's almost cute. When the stars of 2 Stupid Dogs visit a post office, they're given a choice of many different stamps, which the clerk goes over in rapid fire. 

It goes by fast, but right after Air Mail and Express Mail comes two Elvis stamps -- one is Young Elvis and one is Old Elvis. I'll let you guess which one this is. 

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Maybe it's because I just saw a banana watching a video where an orange gets spread open like a human vulva, but right now this little sperm with an Elvis hairdo seems positively wholesome.

6. Hey Arnold! That sign is cheeky

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Magicians use something called "misdirection" to make the audience pay attention to one thing while they work their tricks out of view. The same kind of thing happens with dirty jokes in cartoons. So when Arnold's grandmother disrobes at a nude beach, the last thing they expect anyone (including censors) to look at is the sign. 

Now, the internet at large claims this stretch of sand is called "Maturewood Private Beach," and that's a little too good to be true. 

Looking closely, it's actually called "Naturewood," which... well, that's kind of just as bad. 

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There you have it, ironclad proof that boners exist in the world of Hey Arnold. Good luck ever looking at Grandpa Phil's weirdly-shaped head the same way ever again.

7. A Powerpuff Girls villain can't stop talking about his manhood

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Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup were pioneers in the field of ass-kicking. A couple decades ago, it was relatively uncommon to see young female characters engaging in violence in Western animation. And The Powerpuff Girls didn't just fight the bad guys -- they beat the everloving shit out of them. That's gender equality for you.

Throughout the show's run, the Powerpuffs took on and dismantled macho stereotypes in hilarious and sometimes subversive ways. In a season four episode, the girls effortlessly complete a series of trials in order to win a place on the Association of Super Men -- only to be laughed out of the building because they're "just wittle girls." Maybe it's for the best they weren't around to hear what supervillain Mascumax has to say when he bursts into superhero HQ. 

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"Witness the coming of Mascumax" probably doesn't sound questionable right now, but you'll look at that sentence a little differently in a minute. 

Almost every word that Mascumax says is a double entendre. It's kind of incredible what they got away with here. 

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mascumax

The language might be a bit flowery here, but he's basically saying that he wants to "compare manhood with a ruler." In other words: Dude wants to have a dick-measuring contest

The innuendo gets even more overt than that, if you can believe it.

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If I can supermansplain for a minute here -- that's not so much of a superpower as it is just being turned on by erections and jizz. It's not a big deal, but you gotta own that, man.

One last thing -- the episode is called "Members Only," which simultaneously describes the exclusive nature of the all-male superhero team while also containing the word "members." I hope whoever came up with that got a raise.