Remasters are kind of hit or miss these days. Some publishers do it right, like Nintendo and the fantastic Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker HD rerelease. Then there's Assassin's Creed II, released as part of The Ezio Collection. In a perfect world, ACII would be the exact same game you played on the Xbox 360, only a little nicer and a little smoother. And to its credit, the ACII remaster does have better textures in spots and more vivid colors. But as Polygon found, The Ezio Collection also increased the amount of trademark Assassin's Creed jank. 

Just take a look at what the climbing looks like in the original version of ACII versus the remaster. 

via Polygon

Whereas before Ezio scaled walls with a leisurely clamber, now he looks like Spider-Man on coke. You can maybe see where the port team Virtuous was going with this (they did the Batman: Return to Arkham remasters that Digital Foundry called a "mixed bag") -- making the climbing a bit faster in the AC games would be a nice quality-of-life boost. But as you can see, it obviously went very, very wrong. Ezio apparently has trouble mounting certain ledges, too. 

By far the most striking thing in that Polygon video is the side-by-side cutscene, which is just... well, look at it. 

assassins creed
via Polygon

The guy on the left looks alright, but the guy on the right looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger after he got shot out the airlock on Mars. Look at those bulging eyes and tell me that's not a man who isn't about to suffocate and explode at the same time. 

via Polygon

Even for a series known for rampant glitches and other technical weirdness, this port seems like a real mess. But hey, if it's any consolation, a screw-up of this size and hilarity is bound to inspire some grade-A shitposting. The folks at NeoGAF are already pumping out gold.  

via Plum on NeoGAF



via Gentleman Jack on NeoGAF

assassins creed
via SirNinja on NeoGAF

Leave it to the internet to make everything better.