We told you about the 10 fictional video games we wish we could play. Turns out, there were more games we didn't even know we wanted to play. But now we know. And now we want these games. Bad.
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Although Wrestle Jam '88 appears in a sad scene, the game looks awesome and makes you nostalgic for old NES games. The Wrestler's director, Darren Aronofsky, hired graphics artist Krystin Hume and programmer Randall Furino to make the retro game. They considered animating the sequence, but Aronofsky wanted the actors to actually play something so Hume and Furino made a real (albeit very limited) game. Because Aronofsky demands realism. That's why he had to actually murder Natalie Portman at the end of Black Swan.
There is one thing that everyone wants to be: a star pilot that wins an alien war. For Alex, this wish comes true because his arcade skills are so wildly impressive, they wow not only extraterrestrial life-forms but everybody within a 5 mile radius of him. I've never played a game so well that old folks, children and animals gathered, joyous and harmonious, to cheer me on. This game promises interplanetary glory, and that's something none of us can resist.
One of the Red Hot Chili Pepper's most popular music videos featured a fake video game. You play as a band member (basically as one of four indistinguishable shirtless tattooed dudes), and you drive a car underwater, grind on the Golden Gate Bridge and ride a shark as a surboard. Pretty sure this game is a metaphor for the moral deterioration of society, but I don't care. Morality be damned, I want to surf on a flippin' shark.
If Inception made you feel like you had a brain boo-boo, go ahead and skip this one. Here we go: Sword Art Online is a fictional video game within a manga of the same name, that was made into a TV show with the same name, that was then made into a video game with the same name. To be clear, the real video game (named Sword Art Online: Infinity Moment) is not a real version of the fictional Sword Art Online. Because the fictional Sword Art Online is a game from the year 2022 that traps players in it using an advanced technology called Nerve Gear. The fictional SAO is thrilling because it's crammed with dungeons and monsters but also terrifying because if you die in it, you die in real life. I think I prefer RSAOIM (Real Sword Art Online: Infinity Moment -- damn, even the acronyms are unnecessarily complicated) because I can just turn it off and walk away whenever I want. (If you must know more, check out our Beginner's Guide to SAO!)
I didn't think this game was so appealling but the comments on the last article changed my mind. With the poor controls and the grating narrator, the game's objective would shift. It's not about how well you could do, it's how long you could tolerate the tedium. Bart lasted only one swing. How long would you last before you were driven mad by the sounds of "I suggest feather touch?"
Field of Fire is a FPS and resembles games like Call of Duty or Counter-Strike, the major difference being that the two opposing sides in FoF are Mexico and Canada instead of two countries that have fought or might fight each other IRL. Mexico and Canada are not going to wage a war except maybe if they decided to get us back for being the worst neighbors ever.
This South Park creation is a spot-on parody of the Pokemon franchise, the only difference being that the video game brainwashes children to commit the second Pearl Harbor. Kenny, Cartman and Kyle grow obsessed with Chinpokomon, Cartman even imitating the cartoon's voice. I guess Pokemon becomes way more exciting and addictive when it has the potential to incite violence. Fun fact: South Park: Stick of Truth, the real South Park game, has a challenge in which the player must collect Chinpokomon. (And in case you forgot, one Chinpokomon is just a shoe.)
At first, this Sega Game Gear game seems clairvoyant, predicting the sneak attack of evil ninjas at a restaurant (you know ninjas, they're always bothering you when you're just trying to enjoy a delicious meal at a classy establishment). Later we find out it's the little boy playing the game who is clairvoyant, but it doesn't matter; this game looks pretty special. I mean, what other game would suggest placing a live octopus on a man's face as a defensive attack?
Hear me out. As the clip above shows, The Simpsons came up with a lot of funny video game spoofs. The best? My Dinner with Andre. (Check it out at 0:56.) You have to wonder who this game is for: people who are both intense gamers and pretentious film snobs? The controls ("Tell Me More," "Trenchant Insight" and "Bon Mot") are so funny and weird, I need to play it.
If you can, imagine if Hank Hill were more badass than he already is. That's what Pro-Pain is all about! The college game developers who were enamored with Hank Hill and invented the game created a hilarious mix of Grand Theft Auto and the simple life of a salesman, thus allowing Hank to live out his fantasy of climbing the propane corporate ladder. Hank loves it, and if it's good enough for Hank, it's good enough for me.