1. Rookie

    Oh wow! The NBA!

  2. Veteran

    Yup. This is the big time.

  3. Rookie

    Wow. Maybe one day I can be the new Michael Jordan.

  4. Veteran


  5. Rookie

    Michael Jordan. Best basketball player of all time. Ring a bell?

  6. Veteran

    Never heard of him. I think you're thinking of Scottie Pippen.

  7. Rookie

    So, anything I need to know?

  8. Veteran

    Just your typical 2 on 2.

  9. Rookie

    I'm pretty sure that's not how pro basketball works.

  10. Veteran

    And how are your 30-foot high backwards dunks?

  11. Rookie

    Um…not so great.

  12. Veteran

    That doesn't bode well. Well as long as you can make three shots in a row, you'll be on fire.

  13. Rookie

    Is that a metaphor?

  14. Veteran

    No. Now time to teach you the rules rookie. First, don't goal-tend.

  15. Pause.

  16. Rookie

    Is that the only rule?

  17. Veteran

    Basically, yes. Also, shove people a lot. That tends to help.

  18. Rookie

    That makes no sense.

  19. Veteran

    Just do the best you can, kid. I'm sure you'll have them yelling "Boomshakalaka!" in no time!

  20. Rookie

    That's not a thing people yell.

  21. Veteran

    Are you sure? It's like, the most common catchphrase ever.

  22. Rookie

    This whole thing is freaking crazy. This isn't basketball-this is a circus! You hear me! A circus!

  23. Veteran

    Calm down, it's not a-

  24. President Clinton

    Is this a bad time?