Please, remain calm. All is well.

This is Kevin Smith.


Perhaps you recognize him. He's a film writer/director and podcaster, originally hailing from New Jersey. For as long as anyone can remember, he has had a beard. This beard.


He has directed such films as Clerks, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Red State, and - most recently - Tusk.

...during which times, he was the owner of the following beard:


He is currently preparing to shoot his follow-up to Tusk, Yoga Hosers - which is technically a spin-off of Tusk, featuring the two young clerks portrayed by Smith's daughter and Johnny Depp's daughter.

When he made Tusk, this was the facial hair that lived upon his face:


However, for whatever role he has in Yoga Hosers, he needs to do some greenscreen work. This work has - apparently - required the removal of hair from a certain portion of Smith's face. A portion of Smith's face that has not been without hair in quite some time.

The beard part of his face.

We would like to warn you - what you are about to see is strange and upsetting.


We will allow you a moment to consider whether you wish to continue scrolling.






Please be sure this is something you wish to see.







Okay. Here we go:


Behold the unholy terror of beardless Kevin Smith. Assuming this IS Kevin Smith. Without the beard, there's really no way to be sure that this isn't some impostor who also wears his hat backwards and enjoys custom hockey jerseys.

The last evidence we have of Kevin Smith without his beard is from decades ago (be warned, this is equally disconcerting):



Yes, this is the new world we must adjust to. Kevin Smith now walks the Earth, his chin defenseless to the cold and harsh world. You may wish to call loved ones and make amends. Do so immediately. Nothing is certain from now on.