Today, Marvel released a brand new poster for their upcoming sci-fi action film, Guardians of the Galaxy. It's TERRIBLE. But don't take our word for it - judge for yourself:


Awful, right? Right. But do you know WHY it's so bad? Let's walk through everything that makes a good poster, step by step, and explain where this poster went wrong.


Female Lead In an Uncomfortable Pose To Provide a Gratuitous Ass Shot: F

Terrible, just terrible. There you are - you have Zoe Saldana in the front of your movie poster, wearing tight leather pants - but you have her posing in a traditional heroic manner instead of stickin' her butt out and turning her head? It's like - do you even know how superhero movie posters WORK?

Here's a few examples to show you how to do these things RIGHT:



Exclusively Blue and Orange Color Palette: F


What is this? Look at all the vibrant colors swirling and mixing to reinforce the fun tone of the film instead of some Icy-Hot colors to indicate this is some heavy, dramatic shit about talking raccoons and evil space bad guys. Purples, blues, greens, reds, AND oranges? ARE YOU INSANE?

Again, here's what you're SUPPOSED to do:



Major Character Has Their Back Turned With Some Powerful Imagery In Front of Them: F

I can see Chris Pratt's FRONT. Do you know how fucked up that is? NO ONE SEES MOVIES IF THEY KNOW WHAT THE FRONT OF THE CHARACTERS LOOK LIKE!



Enormous Floating Heads of Handsome Stars Oversee Everything: F

WHERE?! WHERE ARE THE GIANT FLOATING HEADS MONITORING THE MORTALS WHO LIVE IN THEIR SHADOW? It's like - did anyone who worked on this film ever SEE a movie poster before?!



Final Grade: F


Luckily, our expert poster designers here at Dorkly have managed to create a poster that passes all of these tests PERFECTLY.


Marvel's marketing team, YOU'RE WELCOME.