Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I work at a popular national home improvement store. I'm sometimes tasked with watering the plants in the garden center. This is a monotonous and boring job. To make things fun, I often take the hose and put it over my shoulder and pretend to be a blastoise. Not pretend pretend, just it makes me think "This is what it feels like to be a blastoise." I've been asked what I was doing. I say it makes the job easier. I was lying. It makes the job twice as hard.-Bill

When "Macho Man" Randy Savage died, I honored him by making a create-a-wrestler of him in WWF No Mercy for N64. Then I challenged HHH for the World Heavyweight Championship. I put the difficulty on expert and fought HHH for a full hour before I pinned him from an elbow drop off the top turnbuckle. RIP Macho Man.-Anonymous

A few weeks ago my mother gave birth to my little brother. My parents named him Damian. My name is Tim and my two older brothers are Richard and Jason. It took me a couple of days to discover we are named after each of the Robins from Batman. Shouldn't have been much of a surprise considering my father's name is Bruce.-Tim

I fantasize about the computer I'm going to buy when I grow up.-Anonymous (edited down from six paragraphs)

I started seriously cosplaying in 7th grade. I remember coming home from New York Anime Festival and telling my mom that, one day, I'd find the perfect guy. I'd know it was him because he'd go to conventions and cosplay with me.-Faith

I recently bought Don't Rest Your Head, an indie P&P role-playing game, because my boyfriend said he would play it and I missed D&D. I thought I was doing well, setting the scene and tying in with what he said and making sure his character had opportunities to connect to the game world. That was until he called me a sociopath, told me I was scary and refused to play RPGs with me ever again.-Anonymous

When I was a younger teenager living with my mom, she had a bumpy relationship with a drug-addicted guy 13 years younger than her. He stole from me. It took me a while, but I noticed when my Game Boy Advance with Castlevania: Circle of the Moon went missing. My mom wanted me write a list of all the things he stole with a dollar value. I made an extra note that assigned a value to the time I lost putting into Castlevania that I'll never get back. I put an extra $60 for it.-Travis

I had a dream last night that my friends and I pulled together 22 people, 22 TVs and 22 game consoles from every generation and started a huge LAN party. Two lines of 11 consoles with competing consoles on either side (SNES vs Genesis, N64 vs PSX, 360 vs PS3). We would then rotate clockwise after 5 minutes of gameplay. It was speed dating with video game consoles. It was the best dream I've ever had.-Douglas