1. General

    Remember soldiers, you get more points for more creative kills.

  2. Soldier 1


  3. General

    That's right, it's called skillshots. If you kill anyone really cool, you get more points for more upgrades.

  4. Soldier 1

    Maybe you could just give us those upgrades now. You know, so we can do our job?

  5. General

    No. The system works.

  6. Soldier 2

    So, if I shoot a gun that shoots knives and I shoot him with the knives so he's all like a jack-o-lantern and then throw a flash-grenade inside his head so when it blows up like it's Halloween, that's a good thing?

  7. General


  8. Soldier 2

    What if I shoot him in his junk?

  9. General

    Yes. As everyone in the army knows, it is official policy to give points for junk-shooting.

  10. Soldier 1

    What about just killing someone efficiently like a normal human?

  11. General

    No. Of course not.

  12. Soldier 2

    So how about if I have a gun that shoots deadly octopuses onto this guy's head and he's screaming so I offer him the antidote for his surrender, and then when he does, and he's so grateful, I yell "It's a trap" and shoot him in the junk. I call it "The Admiral Wackbar"

  13. General

    Um, I guess. Technically. That's, uh, very creative. Wow.

  14. Soldier 1

    I think you're catering to serial killers, general.

  15. General

    No, no, of course not.

  16. Soldier 2

    Or how about I shoot a laser through his stomach, and he's all "aaaagh!" and then I go into his stomach and fill it with Coke and Mentos and it explodes and then I turn his heart into a trophy for my science fair project? Do I get points for that?

  17. General


  18. Soldier 2

    I also call that "The Admiral Wackbar". That's basically what I call everything, frankly.

  19. General

  20. Soldier 2

    It's what the voices told me to do.