"Also will not play Nintendo Wii games nor create a girlfriend for me."
This explains why you were having such a hard time playing Halo 3 with that jar of salsa.
"Ask your mom why she's been sleeping with so many Call of Duty players, too. Like, every single one, apparently."
I'm with CreepCreep.
Picture XBOX Achievement Wedding CakeJuly 13, 2012
Now all you need to get are "CHILDREN" and "BITTER DIVORCE."
Comic Nerf Now: Live Hospital
Picture Skyrim Apology CakeJune 19, 2012
Now someone needs to make a cake apologizing for the subpar lettering on this cake.
Picture XBOX Live ApologyJune 15, 2012
This is like Halley's Comet: we'll only live to see this happen once.