Shell Shocked: A TMNT VGM Tribute Album

Video Shell Shocked: A TMNT VGM Tribute Album

6 days ago

You can have "Pizza Time!" anytime.

Filed Under   music   tmnt   rock
The Russian Version of the TMNT Theme Song is Hilariously Foreign

Video The Russian Version of the TMNT Theme Song is Hilariously Foreign

April 11, 2014

Rachmaninoff? More like RAD-maninoff.

Filed Under   music   tmnt   russia
Michael Bay's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' Horrible Secret

Video Michael Bay's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' Horrible Secret

April 07, 2014

The wait is ogre.

Article Pretty Much Every Version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Ruined" the Franchise

By Andrew Bridgman / April 1, 2014

  Pretty Much Every Version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Ruined the Franchise

If you've been on the internet lately, odds are a few people were complaining about the latest incarnation of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - now brought to you by professional childhood-ruiner Michael Bay. It's your typical fare for a Michael Bay movie (note that he's only producing it) - lots of destruction, military presence, Megan Fox, the words "Michael Bay" appearing on screen sending a shudder down your spine, etc. It looks pretty dumb - but here's the catch: TMNT has ALWAYS been dumb. And dumb in a way that's meant to appeal to whatever generation of kids it's aiming for. This new version isn't ruining your childhood any more than pretty much every single previous version of TMNT. Let's take a look back...

 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2003)

After a long absence from the world of animation, TMNT returned in 2003. It was an attempt to bridge the gap between the original animated series and the comics that started it all - there were less terrible puns, more attempts at character development, and less goofy slapstick music.

Every Version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Ruined Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Why It "Ruined" TMNT: After a few seasons, the show was completely retooled multiple times - one involving the turtles training to learn a bunch of mystical abilities in order to defeat some alternate version of Shredder, another that sent them 100 years into the future, and another that sent them back to the present day to battle a cybernetic version of Shredder. By the end, it was a mess of unintelligible abandoned plotlines and directionless virtual reality action. Also, the opening song was REALLY bad.



Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation (1997)

Finally - a TMNT show that uses the creepy actors-covered-in-rubber aesthetic of the original films! This was a dream come true for kids everywhere who rushed home after school because organized sports was a terrifying prospect.

Why It "Ruined" TMNT: The big hook for The Next Mutation was the addition of a new turtle character - a sister for the core group, named Venus de Milo. Really, the group could totally stand to have another female voice beyond yellow-jumpsuit wearing reporters. Unfortunately, Venus de Milo looked like this:

  Every Version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Ruined Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Yep. They straight up added turtle boobs, which is extremely creepy-looking. You know what the difference between male turtles and female turtles is? Hint: it's not human-esque shell-breasts (it has to do more with the position of the cloaca and the concavity of the shell). Venus was so poorly received that Peter Laird (co-creator of TMNT) will not allow her to ever be mentioned in TMNT again.

However, in the world of erotic fan art, Peter Laird has no power, and GOOD LUCK searching for TMNT stuff in Google Images without running into some seriously upsetting Venus de Milo pictures.

Giant Soda Ninja Turtles

Picture Giant Soda Ninja Turtles

March 30, 2014

Diabetes in a Half-Shell.

Filed Under   tmnt   soda

Article The Conversation That Created The (Rebooted) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

By Andrew Bridgman / March 28, 2014

 

"Heroes are not born - they're created."

-William Fichtner (the guy from Prison Break)

 

  1. Scientist

    Uh, sir?

  2. William Fichtner (from Prison Break)

    Johnson, stop asking questions - get back to making those heroes!

  3. Scientist

    Yeah, about that...you SURE these are the heroes you wanna create?

  4. William Fichtner (from Prison Break)

    Uh, YEAH. Crime is running rampant and Megan Fox is the city's top journalist. Things are bad and we need laboratory-created heroes ASAP.

  5. Scientist

    Well, if we're MAKING heroes, couldn't we make...something else? Like, pretty much anything else other than THIS.

 

tmnt

Article The Best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Cosplay On the Internet

By Andrew Bridgman / March 27, 2014

Rocksteady, April O'Neil, and Bebop

Some of the Best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Cosplay

via Cardboardtube Knight

 

Krang

Some of the Best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Cosplay

via The RPF

Teenage Mutant Ninja Inspiration

Picture Teenage Mutant Ninja Inspiration

March 03, 2014

They're more than heroes - they're role models in a half-shell.

Filed Under   tmnt   turtles
Shocking Celebrity Cartoon Voices!

Video Shocking Celebrity Cartoon Voices!

January 25, 2014

"Curse you turtles!" - Uncle Phil

Filed Under   celebrities   tmnt   cartoons   voices
Homemade TMNT Christmas Tree Ornaments

Picture Homemade TMNT Christmas Tree Ornaments

December 06, 2013

...and that's how you turn a trip to the dollar store into a bajillion likes on Instagram. Cowabunga!

Filed Under   christmas   tmnt   ornaments