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Article Dorklassic: New Sim On The Block
- Bill
Hello, new acquaintance.
- Dave
Hey, neighbor, can I ask you something?
- Bill
City hall. Rain cloud. Dollar sign.
- Dave
Um, yeah. Listen, I really need a friend. My boss says I can’t get promoted until I get one and learn something about cooking. Life in politics is not what I imagined.
- Bill
Soccer ball. Earth. Ghost!
- Dave
Uh…huh.
- Bill
I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!
Pause.
- Dave
So….you watch any sports or anything?
- Bill
Backrub?
- Dave
Um, no thanks. I only ask because my TV only gets four channels, and they all speak this non-sense jibberish language. It’s so weird.
- Bill
Backrub?
- Dave
Uh, still no, thanks.
- Bill
Tickle!
- Dave
Haaaa…very funny. That was not at all awkward.
- Bill
We’re friends now.
- Dave
Jeez, really? Okay, whatever you say. I dunno how I’m supposed to prove that to my boss. Would you mind signing something?
September 02, 2010
Link Me and My Sims: 3 Days in the Life of a Sim's Addict
Why play a game about mundane activities when you can read an article about a guy playing a game about mundane activities?
Article State of the Sim City
- Advisor
Mr. Mayor – I think we should talk about some of the complaints the citizens have had lately.
- Mayor
Like what? Actually, wait one second – I’m gonna summon a monster attack.
- Advisor
See – that’s exactly what I’m talking about. You need to stop pressing the “Monster” and “Earthquake” buttons. Actually, we should probably have them uninstalled altogether.
- Mayor
Listen: I was elected to this office –
- Advisor
You created the town and have been running it for over 100 years with no elections.
- Mayor
Same difference.
- Advisor
Not really. There’ve also been some questions about your immortality, but we’ll get to that later. First off, I think we should consider moving the nuclear power plant away from all the residential zones. Especially because you can’t seem to stay away from the “Meltdown” button.
- Mayor
Ugh, but if we move it away, it could cost over $90 in extra power lines! How am I supposed to explain that to the community?
- Advisor
If we’re talking about the budget, we should probably think of giving the fire department more than $0 funding a year. The fire at the airport has been raging for almost six years.
- Mayor
Oh sure, then the police department will start asking for more money too!
- Advisor
I doubt it, sir. Against the constant begging of the citizens, you still haven’t built a single police station or hired any officers. If you’ll look at the chart, the areas in red are where crime is the worst…







