Since the beginning of videogames, one thing has been clear: marketing executives have no idea what the appropriate time would be to use rap in commercials and advertisements. Or how rap should sound. Or what it should be about. But "having no idea what we're doing" has never stopped an executive, so terrible/awkward raps became one of the cornerstones of the videogame ad industry. These are the 8 worst raps in videogame marketing history.
...]]> /article/51485 Tue, 16 Apr 2013 17:09:05 -0400

The entire concept of having animals evolve into insanely-powerful beast monsters by beating the crap out of others in battle (or by being exposed to stones, being traded, etc.) is pretty ridiculous in and of itself. But it's not too difficult suspending your disbelief when the end result is a fire-breathing dragon who remains loyal to you (despite the fact you're forcing it to fight a bird who shoots lightning). But there are some specific evolutions that are extremely weird, even in the already-weird field of Pokemon evolutions. These are the 10 weirdest evolutions in Pokemon.
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Time travel has been a super popular theme in movies, books and games ever since the first time machine was invented in the year of our Lord Zenithox 33270XX, so naturally there have been plenty of virtual heroes zipping through the space-time continuum. Even with so many cool games featuring time travel, these eighteen veteran characters stand out for going the distance in the past, present and future. Their heroic chrono-adventures have taught us all that no matter how far into the past or future we go, bad guys and logic puzzles span across all history.
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If you asked a kid what their favorite things were, odds are you'd hear a lot of them say "pizza" and "videogames." Really, most adults would say the same thing – because pizza is (arguably) the best food there is, and videogames are the best things to do while eating food or not eating food. So combining the two seems like a natural fit – and while many have tried to cash in on our collective love of dough combined with sauce and cheese over the years, only a few have done it memorably. These are the 10 Tastiest Pizzas in Videogame History.
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This week saw the release of BioShock Infinite, a game that's notable for many things, but mainly for essentially being one long escort mission that isn't awful. In fact, the game tells you right away to not worry about your escort, and that she can take care of herself. After years of horrible escort missions where you have to protect incompetent bullet-magnets who would sleepwalk through the beaches of Normandy on D-Day, it's hard to express what a joy this is. As a reminder of how well BioShock Infinite pulls this off, let's take a look back at some of the not-so-good escort missions in videogame history.
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Among the many plagues visited upon gamers over the years, the unresolved cliffhanger ending is one of the worst. Sure, in a game it's the journey that's most important, but would Mario be as popular today if he didn't finally get his cake-baking princess? With the time and hours invested in a game one might think developers would be kind enough to reward us with just a little smidgeon of closure, but too often we're stuck waiting for sequels that may never arrive. The list below includes just a few of the great unfinished game sagas that, unlike this paragraph, never had a fitting end. Actually, even this paragraph never had a
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The launch of the latest SimCity was, to put it mildly, not handled well. To put it spicily, it was a huge unimaginable mess – with people unable to download the game, play the game due to lack of available servers, features being turned off, and with a number of updates released post-launch trying to fix some of the major issues users were experiencing. This didn't go on for just the first few hours of its release though – some of this is still going on, a week after release. For a smaller game and company, this might not be such a surprise – but this is from one of the largest publishers in videogames and one of the biggest franchises in videogames. However, SimCity is not the first game to put users through this kind of launch mess. Here are 9 other games that had terrible launches.
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Satan, El Diablo, EA…he goes by many names, but throughout he is the Devil – an entity of pure evil, usually ruling over Hell, and always causing trouble for the noble heroes of the world. In videogames, it's no different – well, except you can usually defeat him and end evil's reign forever. Here are ten games that took the highway to Hell with devil characters worth button-mashing right back to the underworld, listed in ascending order of soul-rending terror.
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According to the vast majority of videogames (also: movies, TV, comics, etc.) out there, corporations are mostly huge assholes – constantly trying to wipe out humanity, develop crazy technology, and generally doing all kinds of malevolent acts in the name of the bottom line. They're more than willing to actively murder their customer base, use their employees as glorified guinea pigs, and relentlessly pursue insane goals that must have been really tough to pitch in a board meeting (how many PowerPoints devoted to the pros and cons of a zombie apocalypse have there been?). Below is a list of some of the biggest, meanest job providers to face a miserable third quarter thanks to one plucky hero.
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There are a lot of things you should never do drunk – drive, text, walk, pretty much anything except "fall asleep and hope you wake up with a low-level headache." The list gets even longer when you're a videogame character, who should probably be saving the world or preparing for battle instead of trying to re-enact the SHOTS video. But that never stopped some virtual characters from takin' a few swigs too many at some inappropriate times. These are the 8 most irresponsible drinkers in videogame history.
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