Article The 10 Worst Snow Levels in Videogame History

By Tristan Cooper / February 28, 2014

The 10 Worst Snow Levels in Videogame History

This winter has been pretty rough. Snow, ice and freezing rain are showing up in parts of the country that exclusively wear flip-flops. Life in the polar vortex has been like living in a videogame ice level. Sometimes it can be fun, sometimes a lot of fun, but too much can be a real drag. In recognition of the unusually crappy climate conditions, we've compiled a list of the most difficult and dreadful snow levels in gaming. Grab some hot cocoa and stay inside with some games that will make you feel like you're stuck outside.

 

10. Spelunky - Caves

 

Spelunky is great - but it's also the worst game ever made. Every level of this platforming roguelike is designed to murder you and make you feel like it was your fault. "Why'd you make me do that, baby? If you hadn't provoked that giant spider it wouldn't have scared you into impaling yourself on that spike pit." The third world, the Caves, is especially brutal. Fraught with tough jumps, landmines, wooly mammoths and laser-shooting aliens, traversing the Caves is made even harder by the icy-slick surfaces. Getting thrown into a bottomless pit by a yeti should be a sign about how you're spending your time, but it will only make you slap your back with a belt and try again.

Filed Under   snow   levels

Article The 9 Best Snowmen of Videogame History

By Bob Mackey / January 31, 2014

The 9 Best Snowmen of Videogame History

Throughout history, children have built spherical snow totems in an attempt to appeal to Höðr, the god of winter, because school-destroying, softball-sized hail rarely falls from the sky without the help of dark rituals. Over time, though, the original intent of this practice faded with the introduction of Frosty, a magical, mirthful snowman who came to life just to teach children harsh lessons about mortality and the dangers of sun exposure. So, with the continued popularity of these lumpy elementals, it isn't surprising to see videogames borrow liberally from the time-honored tradition of personifying mounds of precipitation using pieces of apparel unfit for the Goodwill dumpster. Odds are, if you find yourself in an ice level, you'll likely see one of these guys hanging around, being all whimsical and stuff.

 

9. Bad Mr. Frosty (ClayFighter)

  The 9 Best Snowmen of Videogame History

The meteoric rise of Street Fighter II caused a lot of resulting weirdness, as kids of the era couldn't get enough of whaling on each other with all manner of colorful characters. 1993's ClayFighter decided to parody the one-on-one fighting genre with a cast soaked in irreverent '90s 'tude, and included characters like a doughy Elvis impersonator and an oversized opera lady. Bad Mr. Frosty stood as the series' official mascot, appearing prominently on the box art for each game, and even traded in the traditional top hat for a backwards baseball cap for ClayFighter 2: Judgment Clay--a sequel that proved it's never too late to make that Terminator reference you've been holding onto for years.

Filed Under   snow   snowman
Team Fortress 2 Snowball Fight

Video Team Fortress 2 Snowball Fight

January 31, 2014

It's cold out, don't forget to wear your hats.

Filed Under   team fortress 2   irl   snow   winter   tf2

Article Pwn Up: Winter is Here

By Jake Young / December 16, 2013

Pwn Up: Winter is Here

"I'm not wearing hockey pads- oh wait maybe I am. Nevermind"

 

Last February my Scout group went to the Northern Tier High Adventure Base in Minnesota to go dog-sledding. We were six miles from Canada, and it was COLD. Being from Louisiana, many of us had never seen snow before. The thing that made that trip for me was the last day we were there when I got to finally set my plan in motion. That morning I let everyone else go ahead of me before and then grabbed the outfit I had carried with me the whole trip. I had become THE BATMAN. I showed up to breakfast doing my best gravelly Christian Bale voice, saying things like "Where is breakfast? WHERE IS IT?!" or "The staff guide... Can he be trusted?" I kept this up throughout the rest of the day until it was time to leave. A lot of my friends say the best part was when we went out onto the frozen lake and my cape started billowing in the wind. I had a blast, and was making Batman references the whole time. So no-one will ever be able to beat my story from Mardi Gras 2013, because nobody else went dog-sledding in a Batman suit.
 
-Brandon

Filed Under   pwn my life   snow   pwn up   winter
Zombie Snowmen, Attack!

Picture Zombie Snowmen, Attack!

December 09, 2013

This is far scarier than those Zombie Puddles we saw in June.

Filed Under   zombies   snow   snowman
Space Invaders Snow Art

Picture Space Invaders Snow Art

May 10, 2013

They got bored with crop circles.

Filed Under   space invaders   snow
Snow Dalek

Picture Snow Dalek

April 02, 2013

They'll destroy the Time Lords, assuming it stays below 32 degrees Fahrenheit.

Filed Under   snow   doctor who   daleks
Snow Jabba the Hutt vs. Dude Leia

Picture Snow Jabba the Hutt vs. Dude Leia

March 27, 2013

Tatooine's had some serious climate change.

Filed Under   star wars   slave leia   snow   leia   jabba
Yoda Snowman

Picture Yoda Snowman

March 01, 2013

When he melts, he will return as a Force Puddle.

Filed Under   star wars   snow   yoda   snowman
Adventure Time's Ice King Snowman

Picture Adventure Time's Ice King Snowman

February 27, 2013

Forgive him for whatever he does, when he doesn't remember you.