Article Pwn Up: Risky Business

By Jake Young / March 3, 2014

If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail

 

Pwn Up: Risky Business

 

Back in the day, my friends and I were obsessed with "Tony Hawk's Pro Skater" for the N64.  Despite my amazing skills at high-scoring combos and hidden tape discovery, I am massively uncoordinated when it comes to anything with wheels, especially skateboards.  Fast forward to my freshman year of college.  There's a cute girl in my area that I have a huge crush on, and I can tell that she likes me back.  She just so happens to confide in me one day that she thinks guys on skateboards are hot.  So, instead of doing the logical thing and inviting her to my place for dinner, I ask my best friend, an avid skater, to teach me how to skate.

 

Two weeks later, a few of us (Cute Girl included) are all skating together when we come by a massive hill on our campus.  Despite having made zero progress on my skating abilities, I look at Cute Girl and immediately flash back to playing Tony Hawk, and think, "What would TH do?  How easy would it be to take this hill and impress the hell out of her?" So I attempted the hill.

 

Long story short, I ended up with a mass of cuts, bruises, and my collarbone broken into three pieces.  It took two surgeries, three years, and a small metal refinery of surgical plates and screws to fix.  Cute Girl stayed with me in the hospital.  I asked her out under the influence of morphine.

 

Three months later, we broke up.

 

Damn you, Tony Hawk.

 

-'Not-A-Skater'

 

 

Filed Under   pwn my life   romance   pwn up   skateboards

Article Geeks in Love: The Rise of the "Special Feeling" Meme

By Jake Young / February 20, 2014

Another meme has taken hold of Japan. Born of geek culture, Valentine's Day, and the polar vortex, it's a veritable perfect storm of internet exploitability.

It all started with a news report about the extreme winter weather that's been hitting Tokyo. The reporter stops a young couple to ask about the snow and the umbrella wielding man answers "being in the snow with my lover like this envelops me in a special feeling. I like it." 

 

Oh Hey Japan: The Rise of the Special Feeling Meme

 

Japanese Geeks in Love: The Rise of the Special Feeling Meme

via 

 

Filed Under   Japan   romance   fanart   internerd

Article The 6 Most Twisted Romances in Videogame History

By Tristan Cooper / February 12, 2014

The 6 Most Twisted Romances in Videogame History 

Love and videogames have had a checkered history, at best. Players are either forced through a cheesy story with the dramatic chops of a high school play, or they're asked to pick a series of branches on a dialogue tree in a game of Choose Your Own Relationship. Turns out game developers aren't as good at approximating the complex emotions of human beings as they are at making grisly blood spatter from a chainsaw gun.

 

But every once in a while, in between the shy schoolgirls and alien love triangles, you can find some pretty messed up hook ups. We've compiled a list of these outliers, the most ludicrous liasons in gaming. Whatever you do, don't fall in love.

 

 

 

6. You and your spouse in Skyrim

 

The 6 Most Twisted Romances in Videogame History

 

In Skyrim, getting hitched is as simple as wearing a special amulet and chatting up the townsfolk. It doesn't take much for a citizen to become your lifelong partner, but who can blame them? You're famous, you've got great job security as the Dovahkiin and you can carry like 18 cheese wheels at once -- they gotta lock that down. But once you're married, the game's simple romance mechanics show their seedier side.

 

After you've sworn to carry each other's burdens, your spouse just stays at home and waits for you to return, earning you 100 gold per day while watching over your growing hoard of dragon bones. If you choose to sleep in bed with your S.O. instead of in a cave filled with Nordic zombie corpses, you get a small XP bonus for your swift and inevitable exit to the outside world. Worse yet, if you marry someone who can also be a follower, they're forced into the thankless life that is the Dovahkiin's packmule and meatshield. Accidentally shooting them with an arrow to the back of the head could be considered a mercy killing.

 

Then again, mariticide actually serves a function in Skyrim -- it's the only way to divorce your spouse. If you do decide to brutally murder the person you vowed to honor and protect, you're officially back on the market. You're welcome to remarry and rekill as often as your heart desires, at least until you run out of mates and remember that you never finished the main quest.

 

Filed Under   creepy   love   romance
Man Makes a Proposal Game, Tapes Fiancé as She Plays

Video Man Makes a Proposal Game, Tapes Fiancé as She Plays

December 23, 2013

I'm not crying, I just have an allergy to two people affirming their love.

Filed Under   romance   proposal   fiance
"Geek Wedding" Becomes All-Star Stunt Spectacular

Video "Geek Wedding" Becomes All-Star Stunt Spectacular

December 10, 2013

Because the only things missing from modern weddings were ninjas and pro-wrestlers.

Filed Under   wedding   romance   ninjas   stunts
Game of Thrones: The Romantic Comedy

Video Game of Thrones: The Romantic Comedy

September 03, 2013

In the game of love, you win or you cry.

Comic Pick Your Romantic Encounter!: A Choose-Your-Own-Mass Effect-Adventure

By Julia Lepetit and Andrew Bridgman / May 28, 2013

A Romantic Pokemon Battle Invitation

Picture A Romantic Pokemon Battle Invitation

May 09, 2013

"…also, would you mind trading me a Sandslash?"

Filed Under   pokemon   love   romance
White & Pink Ranger Cosplay Couple

Picture White & Pink Ranger Cosplay Couple

April 29, 2011

A user sent this pic of him and his gf in response to yesterday's Nerd Love IRL column. Ladies dig the Tigerzord!

Matching Tetris Heart Tattoos

Picture Matching Tetris Heart Tattoos

April 14, 2011

"You and I fit together like, well, you see where I'm going with this."

Filed Under   tetris   tattoos   romance