Article Pwn Up: Everybody's Working for the Wii-kend

By Andrew Bridgman / October 5, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Everybodys Working for the Wiikend - Image 2
When I was a kid, I used to believe that anything you could do in a videogame could be done in real life if you tried hard enough. One day, my mom took my Game Boy away because I was playing too much. Since I was so short at that time, she would put things in high places to keep me away from them. I ate some mushrooms from our backyard, thinking I would get taller. I didn't realize until many years later that I could've died doing that. Not growing taller was still the more upsetting thing though.-Abraham

When I was in grade school, I had trouble remembering which side was "left" and which was "right". This was around the time the SNES first came out, and a friend and I were playing Super Mario World together. He had gotten the Nintendo Power issue that showed all the secret exits in the game. The picture illustrating how to find the exit to the blue switch palace showed Mario riding a Yoshi through a block that looked like it was part of the foreground, with a caption along the lines of, "You can move through the block on the left side of the screen." And to this day, when I need to remember which side is left and which is right, I usually imagine that picture in my mind along with the note that "Yoshi is on the Left."-Jacob

I was watching an episode of the Big Bang Theory a few years ago, and at one point, Sheldon said, "That is my spot, in an every changing world, it is a single point of consistency. If my life were expressed as a function on a four dimensional Cartesian coordinate system, that spot, from the moment I first sat on it, would be 0-0-0-0." My first reaction wasn't, "wow, nerdy," but instead, "Cartesian? Since the earth is round, spherical coordinates would be more efficient."-Derek

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Article Pwn Up: Legend of Luigi

By Andrew Bridgman / September 28, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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When I first the Nintendo 64, I fell, hook-line-and sinker, for the "Luigi is in Mario 64 myth" and spent countless hours and lives trying to find Luigi. I tried literally every method I could find on the (dial-up) internet to do so, from trying to jump into the lavafall inside the volcano in "Lethal Lava Land" at "just the right angle", using the cannon outside the castle to break through an invisible wall over the lake, to attempting to find the supposed hidden 121st star supposedly at the highest point of the rainbow ride world. After many failed attempts, my 12 year old self was forced to give up on the fruitless mission, not because I realized I was being played a fool, but because I thought I was doing something wrong… It was not until reading Dorkly's article "The 6 Cruelest Hoaxes and Urban Legends in Videogame History" over 14 years later that I realized that I had been hoodwinked.-Gary

I was totally unprepared for my first Latin test – but the first thing I did when I got the paper was to translate all the "mi fili"s that could be found. Thank goodness for Sephiroth.-Nadya

I am in high school right now and taking an AP U.S. Government course. The teacher told us to go home and find an article or a video that represented the importance of the Revelutionary War. So the next day I came back to my class and showed them the trailers for Assassin's Creed 3. In the end I got an F for the assignment.-Kaiser

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Article Pwn Up: Epwna's Song

By Andrew Bridgman / September 21, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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When I was a kid, I played the Legend of Zelda on the NES. Since the game was called 'Legend of Zelda,' I entered Link's name as Zelda (thinking that was what his name was supposed to be). Little did I know, that was the code to make the game much harder. I gave up almost instantly and hated the series for years, never realizing I had screwed myself over.-Jason

One summer, my PSX memory card started to act up. It wouldn't save anything correctly. I had just borrowed Final Fantasy VII from a friend, I was determined to beat it regardless of my memory card. I would play for a couple of hours a day and then I would leave the PSX on overnight and wake up and go at it again. This went on for about 6 days. Finally, I got to the boss and I beat him. I jumped around my room. I never felt so good in my life! Then I realized there was a disc 2…-Kerby

The first word I ever spoke was "Pikachu." Apparently, my parents had me watching the cartoon series a lot when I was a baby. I didn't learn "mama" or "dada" for another few months.-Julio

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Article Pwn Up: Stay Sharpedo

By Andrew Bridgman / September 14, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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As a toddler, my younger brother decided he wanted to play videogames like me so it became a daily "chore" to play Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time for him while he "played" on an upside-down, unplugged controller. At age 4 he started playing for real and before his 5th birthday beat the Ocarina of Time. By age 7, he was better at videogames than I was. It's tough being a high schooler getting schooled by a 2nd grader.-Terisa

I was playing a game of Trivial Pursuit with my mom about a week ago and I was asked a question along these lines: "The skin of which animal has been often used as sandpaper?" The answer was a shark, and the only way I got it right was by remembering that Sharpedo from Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire had the rough skin ability.-Ryan L.

I've been playing Sleeping Dog non-stop, and being that the game takes place in Hong Kong, whenever you have to drive a car you have to drive on the left side of the street. So doing that for a couple of days, I guess my brain seem to now think that was the norm. I got into my car to run to the store I ended up drive on the wrong side of the road and nearly crashing my car. So for now on I'm only playing game based in the U.S.-Jovan

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Article Pwn Up: Never Cave In

By Andrew Bridgman / September 7, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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I was running a while ago when I tripped, skinning my knee. It was pretty bad, pretty much covering my entire knee. Strangely, it didn't hurt at all. My first thought was that it was probably the endorphins numbing the pain. I immediately thought of the Hardened Adrenaline Rush in Mass Effect 2, "Your endorphins block out all pain and trauma in addition to speeding your reaction time." I finished the last mile of my run in record time, imagining that I was leading my team through the Collector's Base suicide mission. And even though I was just imagining, Garrus still died.-Cuyler

I was car shopping for a blue Chevy Sonic, however after I test drove the car with the dealer I mentioned I would only get the car if I could get a license plate that said "Tails". After which the dealer looks at me like I was crazy and asks "why?" …Maybe I should have said "Miles Prower"?-Jeff

I'm a grunt in the Marine Corps. The 15 mile hikes with 100 lbs of gear on our backs can get pretty rough – so in order to stay motivated, I repeat the Cave Johnson lemon speech in my head.-James

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Article Pwn Up: The Half-Blood Princess

By Julia Lepetit / August 31, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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When the Wii and Twilight Princess came out, my family had bought neither. At that same time, my mother got into meditation and bought all these books and tapes about it. A little over a month later I was searching for something in my mother's room when I opened up the TV stand I found a Wii and in the Wii was Twilight Princess. My mother had been "meditating" with Twilight Princess for over a month.-Sadye

Last year, right after I had just finished a Harry Potter marathon, I was sitting in a public park and had just snapped a stick off a tree when I suddenly heard someone behind me say "Expelliarmus". I instantly shouted "PROTEGO" at the top my lungs and the girl immediately whipped a toy wand out of her robes and replied "BOMBARDA". We continued our imaginary wand duel for quite awhile while people around us stared. I finally won with a well timed Stupefy. I regret not asking her name or phone number after she left. -Jeremy

I just blew the speakers out in my car listening to the Wind Waker soundtrack.-Grif w.

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Article Pwn Up: Snake Healer

By Andrew Bridgman / August 24, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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I skipped my school's Hershey Park field trip, telling everyone I was afraid of roller coasters. The real reason was so I could stay home and watch the E3 press conferences live.-Jacob

A few weeks back I cut my foot open pretty bad. I thankfully found the first aid box in my house, but I had no idea what to do. Then I remembered how the health system in Metal Gear Solid 3 worked and was able to take care of my foot that night. I mean – I still had to go to the doctor a few days later. But Metal Gear Solid 3 saved me a trip to the emergency room.-Virginia

I've been playing a lot of Skyrim lately, and was recently given a quest in Markarth called "The Forsworn Conspiracy". I won't go into all the details but eventually the quest lands you in prison where you have to break out with the leader of the Forsworn (at the time it didn't occur to me to kill him and break out myself) so I helped him and some of his followers break out. As soon as we did, they started wrecking havoc on the town and I began to panic. While I didn't care for the corrupt family that was in charge there and I did feel kinda bad about the Forsworn guys, I'd spent so much time helping various villagers and getting to like them that I just couldn't let this all happen to them. Unfortunately, my last save was from five hours earlier. After a few minutes of debate I decided that the good people of Markarth were worth losing a few hours of progress.-Katie

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Article Pwn Up: The Dork Knight Rises

By Julia Lepetit / August 17, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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My dad is in the Air Force and was deployed for a year so I wound up taking care of my little brother most of the time. I was also a Starcraft fanatic (I started at age 8) so I spent all of my free time playing. When it was time for my brother to go to sleep, I would lovingly rock him to the sound of exploding Zergs and machine guns. Now screaming and gunfire put him to sleep faster than lullabies.-Terisa

I never learned how to ride a bike when I was younger so when my girlfriend found out, she insisted on teaching me how to ride. At first, I was scared of falling off and would constantly stop myself because of that fear. Now, my girlfriend and I are huge fans of the "Dune" novels so at this point I shouted to my girlfriend "I'd rather ride a sandworm than a bike!" Then, she looked me in the eyes and told me "Fear is the mind killer", she put my hands on the handlebars and said "These are your maker hooks, ride Shai-Hulud and become a man". After a few repetitions of the Litany Against Fear, I psyched myself up, and pedaled the living hell out of that bike. Now I ride my bike, named Shaitan, whenever I get the chance.-Bryant

I decided to see The Dark Knight Rises on it's midnight release dressed as Batman. I was the only one in the entire theatre dressed up for the premiere. At some point, some joker (no pun intended) started getting laughing maniacally at everything. He was ruining the movie for everyone so I turned around and told him to shut up. He said "I think this is terribly funny. Who are you to decide what I laugh at?" In response, I stood up and in the raspy Batman voice, said "I'm Batman, your argument is invalid!" Just as I said that, on-screen Bane blew up the football field, the buildings, the streets, and the bridges. Everyone laughed intensely. No one could calm down for a full 5 minutes. That guy never spoke again for the entire movie. -Sawyer

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Article Pwn Up: Final Fantasies

By Andrew Bridgman / August 10, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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My girlfriend and me were at our friend's house last week when the topic of porn came up and she said "I thought I found Jack's porn stash yesterday but it turned out to just be a bunch of Dragonball Z comics in his sock drawer." It was manga, first of all. Secondly, she has no idea how close she came to finding my hentai.-Jack

My boyfriend and I are huge fans of Final Fantasy (from 9 and earlier) and have an age old argument as a result. He insists on calling the Final Fantasy with Cecil as Final Fantasy 2 (from the SNES release in America) and I prefer to call it by its official title of Final Fantasy 4. The same goes for Final Fantasy 3/6 (with Terra). Well the other day we were talking about growing up gaming and I said something along the lines of "My brother and I would share the Final Fantasy 2 file." It was at that moment that my boyfriend actually had a confused look and stated "Wait, Final Fantasy 2 or 4?" It felt like the gift of the magi for nerds.-Heather

I work at an EB Games and I am a huge Pokemon fan, so when kids were coming in to pick up Black and White I'd ask them which starter they'd plan on getting. One kid told me he was choosing Tepig, I asked him why and he told me, "because he can make his own bacon." Suddenly I regretted choosing Oshawott.-Lauren

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Article Pwn Up: Octorok 'n Roll

By Andrew Bridgman / August 3, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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When my wife and I got married, we didn't play the Wedding March. Instead, she walked down the aisle to an orchestral version of "Aria Di Mezzo Carattere" – the opera music from Final Fantasy VI.-John

I had a really important test the other day and was running a little behind. When I finally arrived in class, my teacher told me I was late, to which I replied "a wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to." It did not prevent the detention, but it was still worth it.-Marcelo

I recently started playing Star Wars: The Old Republic. This is the first MMORPG I've played/joined and so I wasn't sure what the protocol was for the general chat, so I didn't really join in. However once I made it to Tatooine I noticed something I just couldn't keep to myself. The first and only thing I said was "Has anyone noticed that though there are two suns, there is only one set of shadows?"-James

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