Article Pwn Up: All Ghillied Up

By Andrew Bridgman / March 18, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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My freshman year of college was when Call of Duty: Modern Warfare was released. The two weeks leading up to spring exams, my buddies and I played the game pretty much 24/7, surviving only on a diet of pizza rolls, diet tea, and cookies. By the end of the two weeks, it began to mess with my head. I even had dreams I was in the game. One night, there was a huge thunderstorm. I fell asleep on the couch after another long day of playing Call of Duty. While asleep, I had another dream I was in the middle of warfare. After a loud crash of thunder, I jolted up half awake. At that moment, my roommate came running down the stairs and said it sounded like shotguns outside. Still in a daze, I began to freak out. He asked me what was wrong but I told him to leave me alone. Before I went to sleep, I made peace with everything in my life ready for the war outside to take my life. The next morning I was alive and my roommates were wondering what was wrong with me last night. It was then that I realized the events that took place. Moral of the story: man can not live on a steady diet of pizza rolls, cookies, and Call of Duty without consequences.- Robert L.

Since my fiancee and I live 12 hours away from each other, we decided to meet up halfway (in Dallas, TX) to take our engagement photos in May. I just rescheduled the day of the photos with the photographer so that we can be there for Dallas Comic-Con solely so that we can meet Nathan Fillion.-Leigh

I asked a friend once the usual "What would you do if you had a time machine?" question. I was expecting the usual "I'd go back and kill Hitler" or something. But without much thought, he retorted "I wouldn't want a time machine. I'd have to beat Dark Souls again." It was the single best answered I'd ever received for that question. I was stumped and realized, I wouldn't want to a time machine either that point.-Anonymous

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Article Pwn Up: Awards Season

By Andrew Bridgman / March 11, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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The "Every Game Is Edu-tainment From Someone's Perspective" Award goes to…

I smile every time I read comments about how hard NES and SNES games back in the day, because it was even harder for me and my friends. We lived in Mexico and neither of us spoke English, but we were able to get our hands on American games. Our curse was that we were RPG fans – and that meant that we needed to talk to everyone in every town (with one of our friends using a dictionary to try to get the main idea of what was being said) in order to make some progress. Needless to say, our vocabulary improved a lot, and that helped me learn to speak English better than any course I ever took.-Eduardo

The "The Family That Trains Together, Stays Together" Award goes to…

So I went on my first ever foreign holiday to Cyprus a while ago along with my step-brother (who I didn't know too well at the time). He asked to borrow Pokemon HeartGold for the plane ride. He only stopped playing a few times a day through the entire holiday, once to ask me to give him a quiz about Kanto. I've never been closer to any family member ever.-Anonymous

The "Love Is A Complicated Thing" Award goes to…

Email 1:My girlfriend and I met the day after my birthday. I went to a fall festival down by my house. The only reason her and I even met was that she was wearing cosplay of Chell from Portal, and the reason we got together? She had stopped to join a costume contest, and I placed my hand on her and said, (in my best Space-Core impersonation), "Space!" We had our first kiss that day at the park, and we've been together ever since.

Email 2:We broke up. . .please don't publish this. . .if you've already decided then do if you must. . .however if you have not. . .don't publish it in the article. . .I'm sorry.

Email 3:I sent that to soon…sorry – we're still together.

-Joe

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Article Pwn Up: Follow That Nerd!

By Andrew Bridgman / March 4, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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This morning during breakfast, my 3 year old daughter had eaten her S'mores Pop-Tart into the shape of a triangle. She looked up at me and said, "Hey Dad, look! This looks like the Triforce." I have never been more proud.-Kylie

While playing Arkham Asylum at three in the morning, my house was broken into. After yelling at the guy to leave, he ran out the back door. I called the cops. They had already been searching for the guy in the area. About thirty minutes later the cops return and say "We caught him but don't have enough evidence to charge him with burglary. Did he leave anything behind?" I switched to detective mode. After casing the house for a few minutes I find a jacket that smells like smoke(none of my roommates are smokers) and a pair of tiny boots. They now had enough evidence to charge him and I returned to my greater duty, putting Gotham's worst sociopaths back behind bars.-Alex

When I was about 5 years old, I got my first Pokemon game. It was FireRed for my Gameboy Advance. At the time of course, I didn't really understand anything about the game, and right at the beginning I got stuck just because I never read the text with Mom talking to you to check the clock. Months later, I finally figured it out. Always read your texts.-Brady

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Article Pwn Up: All the Time in the World

By Andrew Bridgman / February 25, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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I've been playing Dead Space 3 the past couple of days but only at night and with the window open. The reason I do that is because it gets down to 30 degrees outside and I'm trying to simulate Tau Volantis.-Robert

I was recently given my 4 weeks notice that my employment contract will not be renewed. Despite having a wife, mortgage and a reasonable amount of credit card debt that will not react well to my pending state of joblessness, my first thought was "That's about when the new Starcraft comes out. Sweet, I'll have time to play." (If you're reading this, sweetheart, it's totally not me and I intend on having another job by then.)-Joshua

One day when I was walking to school, I heard a noise – it was just the 'screech' sound a truck makes when it stops, but the second I heard it, I looked up to try to find a dragon. The only thought I had after that was: 'I need to stop playing Skyrim.'-Anonymous

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Article Pwn Up: Live Long and Spell Correctly

By Andrew Bridgman / February 8, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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I once saw something funny happen (It was a guy slipping over or something) and then I thought "That's funny, I got to put that in my file share," followed by "I've clearly been playing to much Halo."-Shan

I was driving home from work and while at a stoplight behind a dude with the license plate "TREKIE", I honked, held up my phone case (science division in Spock blue with the Trek symbol) and gave the Vulcan salute. He laughed and returned the gesture. I'm sure there was a limit on the characters in the license plate or someone already had the correct version, but I was secretly upset his plate didn't say "TREKKIE" (with an extra "K").-Matt

When I was 5 or 6, I had gotten Pokemon LeafGreen for the Gameboy Advance – my first experience with Pokemon. After I got my Bulbasaur, I managed to go to Viridian and got stuck for a long time, not knowing I had to deliver the parcel to Oak. I didn't know what to do, so I kept battling wild Pokemon to a point where I had a Venusaur just from level 2-3 Pokemon's exp. points. The next couple hours were pretty boring, since my Venusaur was at a way higher level than everything I ran into.-Fotis

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Article Pwn Up: Homestuck

By Andrew Bridgman / February 1, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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When I was 10, I bought my first GameBoy game – Pokemon: Blue Version. After I turned it on and started playing it, I got stuck: in my character's house. I didn't realize that the mat in front of the door was the way to exit a building. I spent about an hour pressing "A" on everything in that freaking house and gave up. I didn't touch the game or the GameBoy again until about 2 weeks later when a friend's sister showed me what to do after I told her I was "stuck" on one part in the game.-Claire

I was late to work one day last week, and there is a long, clear, straight stretch of road I have to take to get there. The speed limit is 20 mph, though (because it's adjacent to a school parking lot and a residence hall), which makes it a great place for policemen to hang out and catch anyone going more than 5 over the speed limit. As I turned onto this road, my index finger began twitching – I was thinking of hitting F5 to quicksave in case I get caught speeding. I've been playing too much Skyrim.-Natalie

I have a daughter on the way. I'm trying to convince my wife to name her Tali. I'm thinking of letting her name our daughter, so if we ever have a son, it'll be my decision and we can name him Garrus.-Anonymous

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Article Pwn Up: The Triforce of Nacho Cheese

By Andrew Bridgman / January 25, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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I was playing Skyrim while I had a friend over, and we were talking while I played and he watched. At one point he looks over at me and asks me why I was talking so softly. I was crouched, hidden, and looting a house at the time – I was taking things a little too far.-Isaac


When I was about six years old, my dad bought us a Playstation with two games: Spyro (for me) and Aliens (for him). One day my dad walked in my room while I was playing Spyro, and he noticed I was still on the first level. I looked to him as serious as I could and told him that I loved the game and I never ever wanted to get to the end of it, so I never saved. Recently I found my old Playstation and I decided that it was time to finally get to the end of Spyro. I cried when I saw the ending credits. -Dorien


I always cook Hot Pocket Snackers the same way.-G

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Article Pwn Up: Elegy of Nerdiness

By Andrew Bridgman / January 18, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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When my brother and I were little, our parents would send us to bed early and interrupt our gaming sessions. We did not approve of this, so often we would wait until our parents went to sleep at the other end of the house before we got up and played again. I have fond memories of things such as beating Sonic Adventure: DX on the Gamecube right around dawn. And always with the sound off. I missed out on some great music just to ensure my parents never woke up.-Mitchell

I was taking the SAT and on one of the questions asked me to define the word "elegy." I guessed the answer was "a mournful song or poem, usually relating to death", thanks to the Elegy of Emptiness. Thanks for getting me into college, Majora's Mask.-Jason

After Pokemon X & Y were announced, I got so excited that I decided to go out and buy a used copy of Pokemon Diamond, the only generation I still hadn't played yet. When I booted up the game, the old save file showed a playtime of 115 hours, and a Pokedex count of 493. That's every single Pokemon in the game up to that generation. And to top it off, the person named their character Dawn, keeping it true to the original.

I sat there for ten minutes, unable to bring myself to erase such a magnificent save file. The thought of it made me feel so guilty, I even contemplated returning the cartridge to the store and getting a different one. But I finally pulled the plug. I erased the old data and started a new game, and as a memorial to the old owner, I named my character Dawn.-Kevin

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Article Pwn Up: Welcome to Pwndora

By Andrew Bridgman / January 11, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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I teach senior math at a high school and I wrote an exam question about a Bullymong's population growth and decline. Was very disappointed that no one mentioned "Vault Hunters" as a reason for the decline – everyone just did the work as they were supposed to.-James

I once got into a fist fight and dislocated my wrist because my friend kept saying that Fire Emblem 11 was the only good Fire Emblem, and the rest were terrible games with terrible characters and story. Turned out it was actually just a prank – he only did it to annoy it. We haven't spoken since.-Dan

When one of my Genesis controllers stopped working, I gave it a proper sendoff: I lowered it into a trash can while saluting and playing Exodus on my laptop.-Joseph

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Article Pwn Up: The Year of the Pwn

By Andrew Bridgman / January 4, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

My aunt sent me a text asking if I wanted "HALO cry Vegas" for Christmas.-Nick


When I graduated, I took my diploma, held in the air in front of everyone and sung out-loud the "Zelda: found item" song clip.-Brett

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No matter what I do in my life, I feel that my greatest achievement will always be in Paper Mario: the Thousand Year Door when I beat the Pit of 100 Trials before I had beaten Chapter 1.-Riley M.

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