Article Pwn Up: What Have I Done?

By Jake Young / March 17, 2014

 This week, we're sharing real embarrassing creations from our readers' past. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

"With too much spare time on my hands and no budget whatsoever, I decided to create a tribute to classic video games. What I ended up making making was lots of drawings and animations in Photoshop and filming myself flailing around like an idiot in front of a makeshift green screen."

 

Pwn Up: What Have I Done

 

Filed Under   pwn my life   fan film   pwn up   fanart

Article Pwn Up: Risky Business

By Jake Young / March 3, 2014

If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail

 

Pwn Up: Risky Business

 

Back in the day, my friends and I were obsessed with "Tony Hawk's Pro Skater" for the N64.  Despite my amazing skills at high-scoring combos and hidden tape discovery, I am massively uncoordinated when it comes to anything with wheels, especially skateboards.  Fast forward to my freshman year of college.  There's a cute girl in my area that I have a huge crush on, and I can tell that she likes me back.  She just so happens to confide in me one day that she thinks guys on skateboards are hot.  So, instead of doing the logical thing and inviting her to my place for dinner, I ask my best friend, an avid skater, to teach me how to skate.

 

Two weeks later, a few of us (Cute Girl included) are all skating together when we come by a massive hill on our campus.  Despite having made zero progress on my skating abilities, I look at Cute Girl and immediately flash back to playing Tony Hawk, and think, "What would TH do?  How easy would it be to take this hill and impress the hell out of her?" So I attempted the hill.

 

Long story short, I ended up with a mass of cuts, bruises, and my collarbone broken into three pieces.  It took two surgeries, three years, and a small metal refinery of surgical plates and screws to fix.  Cute Girl stayed with me in the hospital.  I asked her out under the influence of morphine.

 

Three months later, we broke up.

 

Damn you, Tony Hawk.

 

-'Not-A-Skater'

 

 

Filed Under   pwn my life   romance   pwn up   skateboards

Article Pwn Up: Say My Name

By Jake Young / February 24, 2014

Like the pine trees lining the winding road, you've got a name. You've got a name. This week on Pwn Up, we wanted you to share the stories behind your gamertags, RPG characters, and any other psuedonym used for nerdy adventuring. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

 

Pwn Up: Say My Name

 I always, in literally every game I play, name my character "Rook". I started doing this because my brother, sister, and I would always watch 3 Ninjas and then run around the house pretending to be the main characters. When I saw this week's topic I decided to re-watch this important piece of my childhood and I came to a bleak realization. Years of my identity was based on a VERY mediocre 1992 movie, and there was no character named "Rook". There was somenone named Rocky, and my siblings never corrected me once. If only Colt or Tum-tum were here to help me cope.

 

-John

Filed Under   pwn my life   xbox live   pwn up   gamertag   screenname   psn

Article Pwn Up: MMO Money, MMO Problems

By Andrew Bridgman / February 17, 2014

This week on Pwn Up, we asked to hear about the the travails you went through in the messy world of online gaming. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail  

 

  Pwn Up: MMO Money, MMO Problems

This is a story I assume you'll get more than one of. Day-God Damn-Z. I won't tell every story just the most entertaining one. I spawned near Three Valleys and started trekking north to Berizino. The usual shtick. I met up with a friend of mine in-game and we looted building and killed zombies. We were held up by 3 bandits with guns, all our equipment taken and force fed rotten fruit. We were then told that we had to fight to the death for charcoal tablets. I hesitated for a second but he hesitated for 2. The 3 bandits gave me back my axe and sent me on my way - but I have to LIVE with that shit now. DayZ - the only game that can really make you question your conscience.
 
-Padraig

Filed Under   pwn my life   mmo   pwn up

Article Pwn Up: Romance of the Three Geekdoms

By Jake Young / February 10, 2014

This week on Pwn Up, we asked to hear about the nerdy, geeky, and otherwise socially-awkward romances you've had or are currently in. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail 

 

 
Pwn Up: Romance of the Three Geekdoms
 
When my boyfriend and I first met, he introduced me to League of Legends, one of his favorite games.  I sucked hard (of course) but he stuck with me until we were taking on ranked games together.  Every day we would come home from work and play a game (or 7) until we went to bed.  We called this "spending time together" (SPOILER ALERT: it wasn't) and he would give me advice on how to improve my game.  One day, it happened - I mastered a position that he didn't play often, so when he played it I would give HIM advice... and the fights started.  My boyfriend finally uninstalled the game because he feared for our relationship.  And that's how I unintentionally made my boyfriend quit a game he had played for years and spent hundreds of dollars on.  True love right there!
 
-S.

Filed Under   pwn my life   love   pwn up

Article Pwn Up: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

By Jake Young / February 3, 2014

This week on Pwn Up, we asked to hear about the "WTF Moments" that still leave you shaking your head. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail 

 
In university I took a principles of law class which I really enjoyed. I put a lot of effort in studying for the endterm but I got an average grade. My professor offered me a lifeline in the form of a single oral exam that would boost my whole GPA if I did well enough. I had never taken an oral exam before in my life so I had no idea what to expect. I was extremely nervous. 
 
As she started asking me questions I was beginning to struggle and I could tell it wasn't going well. I wasn't going to get the high grade. Then she told me she had a young son who collected pokemon cards and he had recently been tricked because a kid traded a common card for one of his holo-rares. She asked me, "As a lawyer, how would you solve this dispute?"
 
 
Pwn Up: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
 
 
I was shocked, of all the things she could have asked about, Pokemon cards were my favorite things in the world at the time (and I still play today). I had encountered this situation myself where I traded my Geodude for a holo Machamp back in elementary school, tricking another kid, and had to subsequently return it after I was told off by the teacher and parents. Not to mention that I had witnessed many other situations like this. I began elaborating in extreme detail about all the possible options of going about the problem, both in the schoolyard among us kids, and with adults involved.
 
She was very impressed, and gave me a solid 8/10 for my oral exam.
That was definitely the strangest experience from my university days, the time Pokemon got me the best grade in the class that semester.
 
-Dim

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Pwn Up: Family Games Night

By Jake Young / January 27, 2014

If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail

 

Pwn Up: Family Games Night

 

 

A couple of weeks before Mass Effect 3 was released here in the UK, I decided to play through the entire Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2 in preparation. It came to the day before ME3 release and all I had to do was the Collector's Base at the end of ME2. I must have only spent an hour or so on it, but I got really engrossed in it. When I finally finished it and the credits were rolling, I looked at my phone and saw 13 missed calls from my brother.

It turns out his wife had gone into labour and he had been calling me, so that I could drive them to the hospital, as per our agreement a week or so before. In the end, he'd given up and called a taxi. I felt so bad that I paid them for the taxi fair, and also took them out to dinner once they were comfortable enough to leave the baby at my parent's for an evening.

 

At the dinner, when we were finally alone together for the first time since the incident, he asked what I'd been doing that had gotten me so engrossed that I missed all 13 calls. So I loaned him Mass Effect and he's now as addicted as me...I don't think my sister-in-law is very happy with me at the moment. But oh well. Brotherly bonding FTW.

 

-Matt

Filed Under   pwn my life   gamers   family   pwn up

Article Pwn Up: Lose Yourself

By Jake Young / January 20, 2014

After last week's edition (the Pulitzer award winning "Pwn Up: Our Moment of Triumph") we asked our readers to share stories about moments when victory evaded their grasp. You guys did not disappoint with your disappointments and we're going to share some of the best ones. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail

 

Pwn Up: Lose Yourself

 

This summer me and my sister were staying at my cousin's for the night since we both had a lot of free time on our hands. Me and my cousin ended up playing endless hours of Pokemon Emerald and ranting about it the whole day while my bored sibling just watched us since she wasn't into Pokemon.

Sometime after midnight we turned my cousin's room into a battle arena while role playing as our favorite Pocket Monsters; I was Pikachu and she was Lillipup. So basically imagine the two of us screaming random Pokemon moves accompanying it with singing the battle theme song in our pajamas ,running around the room like maniacs. The worst part was we were both pant-less. We had a blast goofing around with each other performing every single move available, but the horrifying truth was that we were completely unaware my sister was sitting in a corner and filming the entire process.

Months passed and we forgot about that until a few weeks ago my sibling did the most embarrassing thing to me after an argument we had; I witnessed her show the video (which my soul was completely unaware of) to the entire household because she wanted to get back to me! I ran to my room feeling heavily defeated when I heard the family blast in a laugh while she showed it to my parents . Now I also know if I ever dare make her too angry or do something similar again, she'll put the video on the internet.

https://mail.google.com/mail/u/2/images/cleardot.gif-Gisoo

Filed Under   pwn my life   pokemon   pwn up   chao

Article Pwn Up: Our Moment of Triumph

By Andrew Bridgman / January 13, 2014

This week on Pwn Up, we look at your greatest nerdy victories. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail 

 

  Pwn Up: Our Moment of Triumph

 

When my brother was twelve, I was seven. For my seventh b-day, my uncle gave me a PS2 and a copy of FFX.

As in all the families, my brother played and I watched. He beat the game several times - but he never did three things: Complete a Blitzball League, beat any of the dark eons, and pass 9999 of damage, which he accomplished only with Auron. 

This year I was in England for two and a half months with some of my parents' friends. 
Their son had a PS2 with a FFX. I resisted only 2 days - then I passed literally 4 days gathering the astral weapons and the emblems. 
Then, dead Zanarkand, something between 2 am and 8 pm of July,18. 
Auron, Tidus and Yuna.
Yuna>Summon Yojimbo
Yojimbo>Give him 1 gil because cannon-meat for Dark Bahamut's turbo
>Zanmato
 
Immediately dialed my brother's number. 
"Marco, how are you doing?"
"I killed that asshole."
"Who?"
"Dark Bahamut."
We both cried and laughed until my host family made me hang up
 
-Marco

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Pwn Up: PARTY HARDLY

By Jake Young / January 6, 2014

Last week on Pwn Up we asked for your geeky stories about parties gone wrong. Boy howdy did you folks bring your "A" game to this one. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail

 

Pwn Up: PARTY HARDLY

 

I was at this kick-ass surprise birthday party for a friend in highschool. The Birthday Boy came home only to discover that his house had become a giant game of hide-and-seek and he had to find all his buddies, including his long-distance girlfriend who had planned the whole thing. The house was huge and all 15-20 of us were completely concealed. I was hiding in his closet. It was not a bad spot, a little more safe than a parent's bedroom or something. Well the game dragged on, and after Birthday Boy found his girlfriend they snuck upstairs to his bedroom and started getting frisky with each other...

[read on...]

Filed Under   party   pwn my life   costume   pokemon   pwn up   pacific rim