Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.
The Skyrim NPC, Grelod the Kind, reminds me so much of my dad's mother. I detest her. I had to reload the game several times until I felt I'd killed her perfectly. Basically, I decapitated her, stripped all her loot, Fus Ro Dah-ed her body into the fireplace, and placed her head on the kitchen table. I wanted to put her head on the cooking pot, but it was too hard to balance. And just to make sure she wouldn't rest in peace, I placed her soul in a soul gem. Then I stored it in my inventory for safe keeping.
I hate you grandma.-Angry Asian guy who hates his dad's mother
My university chokes your Internet if you use an unusual amount of bandwidth. I received a letter recently due to my over-use. It demanded an explanation. I had to go to the student union and explain that I'd been staying up all night, every night, watching Dragonball Z episodes online.-Anonymous
Every other weekend, my dad sends me to help tend the horses at my uncle's ranch. It's his way of trying to get me away from gaming culture and shape me into a man. I've been doing it for months. He thinks it's working. It's not. When everyone leaves, I ride my horse to the Shadow of the Colossus soundtrack while waving a stick and shouting "Agro!"-Erick