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Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

As people may know, Ireland is going through some tough economic times. More and more people are emigrating in search of jobs. Unfortunately, I will most likely be one of these people. I can't afford to stay here anymore. Australia has been a popular choice amongst Irish people and with good reason; sun, sea and hot women. I ruled it out straight away because of the high price of videogames and tendency to ban games with an 18+ rating.
-Dan

I got drunk at my bachelorette party and got a tramp stamp tattoo of the classic Batman symbol.
-Lass

My OKCupid profile contains only the sentence, "I am ranked No.3 on the Leaderboard for Elvis Costello – 'Pump It Up' on Rock Band 3 on ProExpert Drums.' I have yet to receive a single wink, message or reply.
-Anonymous

Back when I was in middle school, I had been looking forward to the new Ratchet and Clank game for awhile. I was really excited when I got home from school the day it was delivered to my house. I had just started playing when my parents brought me into the living room and tearfully told me that they were getting divorced. After staring at the floor for a minute, I said I had to think about what was happening alone for awhile. I went back to my room and played Ratchet and Clank until I beat it. It's still one of the fondest memories I have from my childhood.
-Anonymous

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

I recently went to my local Gamestop and asked to pre-order Skyward Sword. The employee asked me, "OK, and which system did you want to pre-order Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword for?" I asked him to repeat the question, because I was sure he made a mistake. He did, and added, "Xbox 360 or PS3?" I blew up at him. I'm no longer allowed in the store. I feel like I won on principle.
-Anonymous

I've been going out with my girl for a year and a half now. For that year and a half I've been trying to get her to watch my favorite anime without success. Consequently, she's been trying to get me to propose for the last year. The other night she watched Akira with me. Now we're engaged.
-Anonymous

My greatest claim to fame is that I've seen my strategy for the Portuguese in Age of Empires III translated into three languages.
-Anonymous

I was sharing a shower with my girlfriend when she got water in her eyes. She said it was stinging. Rather than sympathize with her, I explained how that couldn't be true because the pH would be roughly 7 after the various treatments water goes through. Then I told her about H+ and OH- ions and their effects on the pH of solutions. She wasn't impressed to say the least.
-Padraig

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

A girl I'd been dating for a little over a month just broke up with me. As we all know, Skyrim just came out. I liked her and wanted to introduce her to my world, so I let her create a Skyrim character. She enjoyed it. Anyway, the break up hurt me a lot so I killed her wood elf to get even. Bitch.
-FrodoTheHutt

I pissed off a lot of guys on November 11 at Gamestop. They were there for the midnight release of Skyrim. I was there for the midnight release of Lego Harry Potter. I was first in line, and I took forever. The store clerk couldn't find the game, it was buried in the back room somewhere.
-Sara S.

I've had Skyrim for over a week now, but I'm a high school teacher. I get less than an hour a day to play. My solution: I told my parents I was having Thanksgiving at my friends' house. I told my friends I was having Thanksgiving with my family. I got to play Skyrim all day without worrying about cooking birds or drunk relatives.
-Mr. Fforde

In order to prepare for Skyrim, I played Red Dead Redemption and only used fire bottles. I pretended they were spells.
-Anonymous

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

As it turns out, Wal-Mart did not have a midnight release for Skyrim.
-Vash

I'm a Fedex driver. When I get packages with videogames in them I deliver them early.
-radarorly

I was probably hit the hardest in my county by the freak East Coast snowstorm this October. A branch hit the power line outside my house, then some idiot hit it and dragged the line and my meter box through my front yard. I'm still without power due to the bureaucracy of installing a new meter box and getting it inspected. Needless to say, the release of Skyrim made the situation much more dire. Today I asked a neighbor if I could do laundry at their house. They said yes, and that they'd be out of the house for a few hours. In light of this, I dragged a 32 inch LED monitor and my desktop to their house. Hope they don't mind when they get home.
-Styger

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

At one time, I was an avid Eve Online player. Since in real life I manage an HR department, I inevitably ended up being the HR manager for our in-game corporation (EVE Online's version of guilds). At one point I wrote a health insurance program for our members that would cover the cost of in-game ship replacement due to loss in PVP. It was easy, but I had trouble getting people to pay their premiums.
-Anonymous

Everyone who knows me knows that I am a nerd. I am not ashamed to be a nerd. I love being a nerd, but I have one of those moments sometimes.
I go to Gamestop all the time. The other day when I went to Gamestop, there was a new cashier. She was really pretty. I wanted to reserve Dragon Ball Z: Ultimate Tenkaichi, but I didn't want her to think that I'm a nerd. Instead, I walked in, asked if there was a bathroom and walked out.
-JT (Who doesn't realize that the people working at Gamestop are also nerds)

I ate at Subway something like 20 times this past October because of the Uncharted 3 beta. I'm not complaining. Subway and Uncharted are like my two favorite things. When I saw the promotion, I started planning my schedule around when I would be in the mood for footlongs.
-Anonymous

I'd been nervous to break up with my boyfriend of three years, and I was procrastinating. One afternoon we were watching the episode of Arrested Development with actor Alan Tudyk of Firefly fame. At the time, I had just finished Firefly and hadn't yet had a chance to watch Serenity. Upon seeing Tudyk, my idiotic boyfriend made what he considered to be a frivolous comment, but to me was a MASSIVE Serenity spoiler. My heart nearly stopped. After ten seconds I burst into tears of absolute fury. I was so angry that I drove home right then, didn't speak to him for a full day, and broke up with him a week later. Although my heart is still shattered from having Serenity ruined, his spoiler motivated me to get out of that relationship once and for all.
-Nalyak

Technically issue #101. There are two issue #68s.

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

I was a deputy jailer for three years. During that time, I had to pepper spray more then my fair share of crazy drunk people. One night I had to deal with one drunk who had been maced before. He knew to keep his face down. The only thing I could think of was to yell "YOGA FIRE!" It worked. The guy looked up, confused, and I promptly covered him in mace. He gave up the fight and all was well.
-anchampion03

Inspired by last week's post about the guy using Let's Play videos to fall asleep, I fired one up before going to bed yesterday. I ended up watching someone play trough all of Zelda II: The Adventure of Link until 4am.
-Mr. Late For Work

I'm jealous of the people who submit stories to Pwn Up about the ways they get out of work or school to play a new game. I don't have have the nerve to lie to my boss. When Arkham City came out, I knew the only way I could convince myself to stay home to play was if I actually made myself too sick to work. I spent three nights eating expired food, hoping to wake up with a debilitating stomach ache. I woke up each morning feeling fine and begrudgingly went to work. The unspeakable pain didn't start until the weekend.
-Remy

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

I tell my wife that I think about her giving birth, how inspiring it is and the pain she overcame, whenever I work out and need to push through a heavy set. In reality I think of Batman and his inability to give up during the Knightfall story line. Batman didn't need an epidural.
-Danny

Everything I know about football I learned reading anime, particularly Eyeshield 21.
-Raph

I'm right-handed, but I fully intend to play Skyward Sword as a lefty LIKE IT SHOULD BE.
-Darth Jader

I used to practice Muay Thai. One time my coach had me spar this huge guy who was also the most experienced fighter in the gym. I was only in my second month of training. After some ordinary beating, he clinched my neck. I couldn't get loose. I struggled for a while and receiving four punches to the head. All I remember after that was screaming "SHORYUKEN!" and delivering a jumping uppercut to his jaw. Not only did I get loose, but he fell down, mostly from surprise. Everyone stared at me for what felt like an eternity before my coach burst out laughing. The entire gym laughed at me for two weeks until I injured my shoulder and quit.
-Anonymous

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

I was unemployed for a while. I realized that if I stopped working out, I could live off eating the rest of my protein powder, milk, vitamins and the occasional Ramen pack here and there. I did it for a month. I had to plan every meal calorically and remind myself that I wasn't going to die because on paper I was getting enough nutrition. The only thing that got me through it was pretending I was a space marine. I imagined I was in the future and all food is condensed and repacked into 20oz of fluid and three capsules.
-Griffin

I gave all the contacts in my phone false names from comics, fantasy novels, memes, cult shows and videogames. Lately, most of my messages have been from Wolverine and the incredible Hulk.
-Jen-Jen

When I first started dating my wife in college, I was really into Ultima Online. I wanted to introduce her to it so we could play together. She agreed to give it a shot. I was super excited. I bought her a subscription, gave her items, gave her a ton of gold and helped her gain experience. One day we were out adventuring and we kept getting griefed by a PKer. When we finally made it back to town she let loose. She told me how stupid she thought the game was and how it had no point. She took all the gold I gave her and threw it on the ground. It was about 250,000 pieces. Of course, someone was right there to steal it. Just like that half my gold was gone. I got so mad I started crying. We've been married 10 years now. She still makes fun of me for it.
-Jess

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

I've been working on losing weight. I tried the Wii, and I've tried Kinect. They get so boring so fast. Instead, I've been using my DDR Universe dance mat to play Marvel vs Capcom 3. I've made it up to the fifth stage using Akuma, Ryu and Spider-man, and I've lost 17 lbs.
-Tones

I worked at Target when I was 17. A couple of weeks after Final Fantasy 7 was released, a kid came in with his mom to return an open copy of the game. His reason was that he just didn't like it. The store's return policy forbid the return of open software. Sometimes I did bend the rules, though. I could list items as defective. Being a Final Fantasy fan and lover of FF7, I refused to allow them to return it. I suspected he hadn't even seen the world map yet. I told his mom there was nothing I could do for them. As she walked away, I told the kid, "Be patient, once you get out of Midgar the game opens up a lot more." To this day I wonder if he took my advice.
-Q

I was the president of my college's board game club. I was chosen solely because we needed someone who could be there every Saturday to get the games at 1pm, and then lock them up again by 1am. I was usually there that whole time anyway. No one else even ran.
-Anonymous

I saved three vacation days all year so I could take off Nov 1 for Uncharted 3, Nov 8 for Modern Warfare 3 and Nov 15 for Assassin's Creed: Revelations. Why didn't I save a day for Nov 11 for Skyrim? It's Veteran's Day. Work is already closed. God bless veterans everywhere.
-Ever L.

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

My girlfriend has been dragging me to Yoga for the last two weeks. At the end of every class, we have to meditate and we're told to focus our energy into something that we want to come true. I continue to try to create the Spirit Bomb. I'm hoping it comes true next week so I don't have to go to yoga anymore.
-Kyle K.

I had to go out of town on business for a week immediately after getting Fallout: New Vegas. Naturally, I packed my PS3 and RCA cables. I expected to be able to play on whatever shitty TV they had in the hotel room. Well, the TV didn't have any inputs at all. My PS3 was useless. The first thing I did, even before unpacking my clothes, was to go online and order an unreasonably expensive adapter that converts RCA to USB so I could plug the PS3 into my company issued laptop. I paid for it, as well as overnight shipping, on the company credit card. Upon my return I had to explain the expense and the unapproved software on the laptop. In retrospect, I could have covered my tracks better, but I think the residents of New Vegas appreciated it in the end.
-Anonymous

In 8th grade, I got in a fight with a kid because he said he beat Battletoads without using Game Genie. I've GOTTEN passed the Turbo Tunnel. I know that it does not get any easier. That kid will forever be a liar in my mind.
-Anonymous

When my girlfriend found out she was pregnant, I was excited to name our future son. Being an unwed couple and long-time fans of A Song of Ice and Fire, we decided we would name him Jon Snow. We got married two months ago, Jon Snow no longer seemed appropriate. Last week Robert Stark was born weighing in at 9 lbs 6 ounces. I'm getting him a husky puppy as soon as he can walk.
-Patrick