Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.
From 5th to 6th grade, I had the biggest crush on a girl in my class and no social skills. This was bad news for her. She suffered a lot pseudo-stalking, odd behavior, and random, creepy notes filled with my best (awkward and terrifying) attempts to imitate Shakespeare. Somehow none of it was getting her to acknowledge my existance. As if I hadn't traumatized her enough, I did the most romantic thing I could think of. I serenaded her with the complete song and lyrics from the opera house scene in Final Fantasy 3. In our homeroom. In the middle of the day. On graduation day. I thought it was going great until she ran screaming and crying down the hall. I'd love the chance to get in touch with her to apologize, but to this day she hasn't joined a single social networking site. I wonder why.-Michael
I brought the Maximum Carnage trade paperback with me when I got a tattoo, so I would have something to read while they did it. The tattoo artist asked if I wanted a spiderman tattoo, and I had to stop for a moment because I couldn't decide if I wanted to get my original idea or Spiderman.-Anonymous
I work as a waitress in a small restaurant. Our boss let's us wear what we want as long as it's appropriate and we don't mind getting it dirty. I made myself a bartender's outfit with an apron, dyed my hair blonde, cut it short, and started wearing sunglasses. Every day I go to work cosplaying as Heiwajima Shizuo from the anime Durarara and no one else knows it.-NK