Article Pwn My Life: Issue #67

March 11, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail. This week only we're taking video submissions for possible inclusion in the new CollegeHumor series Nerd Alert. Look right in your camera, record your confession, send it over, and if we use it we'll send you a t-shirt. Keep sending in written submissions too.

Last week I passed my Nutrition exam without studying for it, solely based on "Sensei Facts" from Fruit Ninja.-A_Q

I went to stop at a craft store for felt so I could create and sew a felt spoink onto my backpack on my way home from college one day. On the way, I walked past a Best Buy and noticed through the window that they had a large Pokemon display near the entrance. I'd forgotten Pokemon Black and White came out that day. I turned to walk into the store, but the automatic doors wouldn't open. I tried twice. Nothing. I stopped and waved my hands in front of the door to try and engage the sensor, but it wouldn't budge. Then a lady walked in the door next to me. It was then that I realized I had been so fixated on the Pokemon display that I was trying to walk in the exit door.-Nick

I never realized how nerdy I was until I was getting my EB Games membership and the manager asked for my email, which is a character from Diablo II.-Eddie

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Article Pwn My Life: Issue #66

March 4, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

Every first Sunday of March I celebrate "Schnitzel and Nintendo Day." It's the day I set up my SNES, make delicious schnitzel, then play classic videogames and eat. I'm also working on a spin-off called "N64 and Hotdog Day" that takes place every first Sunday in September.-Karl

For Valentine's Day this year, I left a copy of Pokemon Ruby on my girlfriend's door with a note telling her to check the Pokemon roster. The roster was six Luvdiscs whose names spelled out "Happy Valentine's Day [her name]! Love, [my name]."-C

I'm trying to lose weight now so I can cosplay as Vamp from Metal Gear Solid on Halloween.-Michael

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Article Pwn My Life: Issue #65

February 25, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I am a huge fan of the MGS series. I don't own a PS3. When my friend offered me the chance to play MGS4 at his house, I was excited. He neglected to tell me his mom and step-dad were getting a divorce. For 16 hours, I played through crying, yelling, arguing and just general awkwardness until I finally beat it. It was worth it.-M

My roommates and I started what we call our annual Zeldoff. We set up three TVs with three N64s and three copies of Ocarina of Time in our living room. Then we race to see who can play through the game the fastest.-Tay

I just read every issue of Pwn My Life. I got frustrated and jealous any time anyone mentioned that they had a girlfriend.-Anonymous

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Article Pwn My Life: Issue #64

February 18, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at CollegeHumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

Being a gay teen guy, it's really hard to find another gay guy to ask out. I finally met one through my best friend's brother. One day, my best friend, his brother and I were all playing videogames at his house while my new crush surfed the internet. Later, I asked him out. He didn't believe I was gay because I was so into videogames. He thought I was mocking him and beat me up in their kitchen.-Anonymous

I just saw my first naked woman in real life. I'm a junior in college and it was during a life drawing class at school.-Anonymous

I'm a soldier in the Canadian Forces. During a training course, I happened to have my Nintendo DS and a copy of Pokemon Pearl on me. When my platoon mates found out, they took to mocking me for it. I played it cool and treated it as though it was no big deal. Within two weeks, a full quarter of the platoon had purchased their own DS's and a copies of Pokemon. Now we have tournaments over the weekends.-Pte Pyne

Two days ago, I fell down a flight of stairs while trying to run down them to get a Hot Pocket during a WoW raid. I crawled back up the stairs to finish the raid before calling for help. I am now typing this from a wheelchair.-Anonymous

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Article Pwn My Life: Issue #63

February 11, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at CollegeHumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I just finished Peggle, including all the challenges, on my ipod touch. That's not the nerdy part. The nerdy part is that my iPod Touch never leaves my car, and I only play Peggle while waiting in line at the KFC drive-thru.-Anonymous

My workout playlist is entirely Weird Al polka medleys.-Anonymous

Growing up, we never had a lot of money. I was a Final Fantasy addict. I had to save for months to buy a used copy of FFVIII. A few days later, I went to a friend's house and lost my memory card on the way. It was summer. I didn't have a lot to do, so for three weeks I played FFVIII for 14 hours a day without saving. Then I'd turn it off, got o bed, wake up and play the same 14 hours again until I finally got enough cash to buy a new memory card.-Anonymous

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Article Pwn My Life: Issue #62

February 4, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at CollegeHumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I went to see the new Harry Potter movie with my girlfriend the day it came out. I got SUPER pumped during the Green Lantern trailer. In the end of the trailer, Ryan Reynolds says "In brightest day, in blackest night.." aka the first part of the Hal Jordan Green Lantern oath. I was saying it along with him and thought he was going to finish it. Instead, the entire theater heard me yell "no evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil's might, beware my power Green Lantern's light!"-Lee

I knit during cutscenes. So far I've made mittens while replaying Twilight Princess and a scarf during Black Ops.-Anonymous

A couple weeks ago my girlfriend realized I wash my hands every time I'm about to touch a comic book, but not every time I put in my contact lenses.-Seth

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Article Pwn My Life: Issue #61

January 28, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

Back in fifth grade, one of my friends was playing some rpg on gameboy advanced. He was fighting one of those bosses that you're supposed to lose to, the kind that have 9999 health and you can only deal one damage to at a time. He was curious about what would happen if he did beat him. Right before he was supposed to fight the boss, he grinded on monsters until he had enough money to max his inventory with health potions. He then spent six hours, one attack at a time, slowly bringing down the bosses health until he beat it. The reward? His game crashed.-Steve

When I was younger, I had a Pokemon book that listed everyone's stats. I did not know that "lbs" meant pounds. I thought it meant laps. I can clearly remember being confused as to why Onix could run more laps than Mewtwo.-Rich

Every time I see an online discussion debating whether or not Power Girl's boobs are real, I get a strong urge to point out that a Kryptonian couldn't possibly undergo breast augmentation.-John

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Article Pwn My Life: Issue #60

January 21, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I was in 2nd grade and playing Final Fantasy 3. My mom had a friend over, and her son who was in 1st grade. I was so excited to show him how cool FF3 was! I showed him the game and he kept calling Shadow a "stupid farty-pants" and insisted that Shadow kept farting. I couldn't take it. Was he kidding me? Shadow? I decked him right in the face. In an instant, I realized I was going to be in deep shit and tried to bribe him to not tell. He told. My mom was pissed, however my older and cooler 5th grade neighbor thought I was the man.-Ryan

When I went to watch the latest Harry Potter movie with my girlfriend, she cried when Dobby died. I cried when I saw the Green Lantern trailer.-Ty

I once spent 20 minutes on the phone with the Nintendo help line because I couldn't get to the sound test in Kirby 64. I wanted to listen to the "Gourmet Race" theme.-Dan

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Article Pwn My Life: Issue #59

January 14, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I was playing Heavy Rain late one night. I got into a really intense quicktime sequence and forgot that my controller wasn't wireless. I jerked the controller too hard and it disconnected. Inputs were still flying across the screen as I frantically tried to plug it back in. I thought I'd lost the scenario but managed to come back and finish it. I was so excited that I started screaming at the top of my lungs. Just when I finished, my dad burst into my room holding his gun. My parents thought I was being attacked.-Brandon

I taught my dog to hide under a table when I yell, "Zombies! The zombies are coming!" Next I'm going to train him to stand in front of me and growl when I say, "Covenant dropship, inbound!"-Xana

In kindergarten, we were learning about opposites and the teacher used "go" and "stop" as an example. This really bothered me, since I was fairly certain that the opposite of "go" was "go backwards." In retrospect, I guess she could have meant acceleration and deceleration as opposed to velocity. I still hold that she should have used less mathematically ambiguous examples.-Anonymous

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Article Pwn My Life: Issue #58

January 6, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at CollegeHumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I recently attended the Tron: Legacy midnight showing wearing my "The Dude Abides" shirt. While walking up the stairs a guy yelled to me, "Lebowski sucks!" Needless to say, we were each escorted from the premises. I have yet to see Tron: Legacy.-Anonymous

One day, the wi-fi on my Wii stopped working. Instead of using the Internet channel to look up porn that night, I had to make slutty looking Mii's on the Mii channel as a last resort. It was a struggle, but it was worth it in the end.-Anonymous

I use a C-3PO figurine to hold my retainer.-Anonymous

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