Article Pwn Up: Awe-Inspiring Moment

By Staff / May 18, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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Recently my girlfriend and I went to our local Gamestop. I noticed that there was a new girl working the counter, and that she had a triforce tattoo on her bicep. As we were leaving the store, I commented to my girlfriend how cool it was to see other girl gamers. With snort of derision my girlfriend said "The triforce should go on the back of your hand."-Logan

Back in the NES days, my cousin and I would play the Double Dragon games., We didn't know much about hardware capacities and all that tech stuff, so when we played with too many enemies on stage and suffered frame slowdown, we thought "Hey, it's great that developers add that slow-motion effect in the fights". Years passed and we always thought that was added to the game to make it look cooler, especially with the helicoper-kick in slo-mo. Now we know the truth.-Travis

Me and my girlfriend wanted to get matching tattoos. Being the Pokemon nerd that I am I suggested Minun and Plusle. You can see what she thought of the idea…-Anonymous (see below)

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Pwn Up: The Reverse Mario

By Staff / May 11, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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When I was a child, Super Mario World for the SNES was my favorite game. The gaming room in my house had a small bathroom connected to it, with a large mirror on the inside of the door. One day I moved the SNES to the floor so the controller could reach the bathroom, and I began keeping the door open during my breaks so I could see the TV via the bathroom door's mirror. Of course, everything was reversed, so it was always more difficult to complete a level while playing in this manner. I ended up beating it more times with everything reversed than the regular way.-Thomas

I have a phone with a gamepad where a keyboard would be. The best part of it is I can play Pokemon with physical controls on my phone. I became so addicted recently, I grabbed a sandwich bag, put my phone in, duct taped the top, and played Pokemon in the shower.-Mike

When I was younger, I had a friend who had gotten Killer Instinct. I would spend the night at his house every weekend so I could play, always playing as Sabrewulf. But no matter how many times we would play, he always beat me. I finally bought the game, bought a game guide and learned every sequence of combo moves for just about every player (about a week and a half of constant practice after school). I never told my friend about doing this, and one day he invited me over for a sleep over. He made jokes about kicking my ass as he turned on the game. I trounced him using Sabrewulf with an ultra combo. He didn't want to play after that and we watched a movie. He didn't invite me over anymore after that, and our friendship faded away.-Travis

Filed Under   pwn my life   mario   killer instinct   pwn up

Article Pwn Up: Parental Guidance Suggested

By Staff / May 4, 2012

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I am 25 years old and used to live with my parents. I work in NYC and my commute from New Jersey was usually 2-2.5 hours each way. I got home around 9 or 10 PM every night, so I only had the energy to play about an hour of videogames before going to bed. I recently moved out of the house and into Manhattan, about 15 minutes from where I work. Not because it's more convenient and I get more sleep, but because Diablo 3 is coming out and I need all the time I can get to play. I essentially am paying $1200 a month just to play one game. And people complain about $15 a month for MMORPG service.-Anonymous

In two months from now I will be marrying the most amazing woman ever. She loves playing Ghost Recon, Star Wars: Rogue Squadron, Zoo Tycoon, anything on SNES. Best thing ever, she turned down going to a friends wedding a month after ours so we can go to QuakeCon.-Gary

Every time I see the extra links at the bottom of the main Dorkly page, I get excited because I think Dorkly posted something related to Zelda when I read the word "Link". -pcull

Filed Under   pwn my life   minecraft   diablo 3   monkey island

Article Pwn Up: Say Your Prayers

By Staff / April 27, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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Every Tuesday, 8 of my mates come around to play Halo: Reach. During the day, while everyone is still at work, we like to text taunts to each other to fire everyone up for the night ahead. Last week I sent my own Halo-inspired version of the Lord's Prayer:

Our Spartan on Reach, Halo be thy gameThy Elites comeBattles will be done on Spire as it is on Hemmorage,Give us this day our weekly pizza,and forgive us our betrayals,as we forgive those who betray against us,Lead us not into the scope of a sniper,but deliver us the Flag.For the victory, the power and the glorious swords1 minute remaining,Game Over-Matt

A couple weeks ago I was at work planning my foray into Skyrim once my shift ended. I started making a list of all the Daedric artifacts I had and still needed to get. I was called away from my post and left the handwritten list by my register. A week later my manager pulled me aside and said there was a problem. He said, "Corporate called. They looked over the list of required items you left at your register. They said they were sorry but they don't have the Masque of Clavicus Vile in their inventory."-Scott

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Pwn Up: YouTube Comment Pride

By Staff / April 20, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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I didn't bother getting my driver's license until age 19. I only did it then because I needed it to trade in games at the nearest EB Games.-Ali

My roommate is an intern at the local hospital. After reading all the articles about peeing in trashcans, he came home happier than I had ever seen him. He explained to me that he stole two breast pumps, some tubing and collection bags and rigged them up, so that when we're playing video games we can just attach these little devices to our members and pee without having to leave the couch. Also, the two devices are clearly marked so we know whose is whose.-Jason

As a computer science major, I hate the stereotypes attached (boring, socially inept, etc). After giving a diatribe against this stigma to my roommate in the morning, I spent the entire day (and then some) naked and hunched over, sitting with my laptop and debugging.-Anonymous

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Pwn Up: Bathroom Habits

By Staff / April 13, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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When I was younger, my house was situated in a way that let me see my parent's TV from my bunk bed. For a long time, I would to go to sleep watching my dad play Ocarina of Time. But one night, I fell asleep and ended up falling from the top bunk, knocking myself unconscious. I don't remember a thing, but my mom and dad were so worried they rushed me to the ER. Luckily, I didn't miss any important scenes.-Kyle

When I was applying to college last year, I had no idea what major I wanted. After hours of debating and no decisions, I sat down to play some Assassin's Creed II and blow off some steam. I am now a second year history major.-Dominic

I go through the Jedi Code in my head to calm down before an exam.-Rob

Thanks to my knowledge that major videogame releases happen on Tuesday and the fact that Borderlands 2 comes out on September 18th of this year, I now know that my anniversary is on a Wednesday.-Colin

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Pwn Up: Videogame Funeral

By Staff / April 6, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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The first funeral that I attended was when I was about 7 or 8 and took place at my best friend's house. We and our brothers celebrated the life of my friend's golden Legend of Zelda NES cartridge. Near the end, the game just wouldn't play right anymore without glitching up. We each said our favorite memories, and it was "buried" underneath the couch in his basement. It will always live on in our memories.-Mike

I keep my mouse with me in my bag when I visit my girlfriend. I use it to play LoL when she falls asleep next to me. If she asks what I'm doing, I tell her I'm working or sending an e-mail. She hasn't questioned it yet.-Luke

I remember a time when I was about 13 in which I wanted to get a fake I.D. I didn't want a fake to get tobacco or alcohol, I wanted one so I could get M-Rated video games. I just turned 17 that won't be a problem anymore.-zRiffz

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Pwn Up: Cartoon Dad

By Kevin Corrigan / March 30, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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In high school, I played World of Warcraft with three friends (circa vanilla). Every weekend we would get together and get smashed while farming for the best blue pieces. Back then blues actually mattered. One night, a member of our group revealed that he knew a guy on our server who happened to be related to a top dog at Domino's pizza. We farmed up as much gold as we could before Domino's was closing, then we traded it all to him in exchange for a large pizza and cheese stick delivery. It probably wasn't worth the time we put into it.-Anonymous

When my friend wants a booty call, she asks me to come over to play Mario 3 on her NES. To be fair, we usually do end up beating the game before we hook up.-D.T.

When I was 7, I was watching my cousin play Super Mario Bros. He sucked and time was running out. I had never seen time run out before. I started to panic. I didn't know what would happen. I tried to grab the controller, but my cousin played keep away. Then my older brother joined in and pinned me down. I was forced to watch in horror as the timer dropped. I flailed my arms, kicked, cried crocodile tears and screamed as I waited for the Nintendo to explode. I escaped with five seconds left on the time and ripped the Nintendo, cords and all, out of the wall. I'm 24 now, and my family still hasn't let me live this down.-Brent

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Pwn Up: Nerd Nails

By Kevin Corrigan / March 23, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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In response to the guy that peed in the sink 'cause it was closer: I used to pee in a trashcan a few steps from the couch until my parents asked me if I was peeing in the trashcan. I got away with it for months.-Anonymous

I just got my first-ever tailor made clothing item. It was a Star Trek TNG uniform my girlfriend bought me for my birthday.-Boaz

I didn't have an N64 when Ocarina of Time came out, but the local Best Buy had it on display. It wasn't a standard display, either. This was back when they had huge, multi-screen showcases hanging from the rafters. I kept finding excuses to go to Best Buy and play it. Every time I'd find my old saved game deleted. After three weeks of this, my brother drove me there for the store opening. It was the holiday season, so they opened two hours early and closed two hours late. I jumped on and played a marathon session. I stood the whole day, not letting anyone else on. I made it through the whole game in one session. I left with the credits rolling and two hours to spare.-Shon

My mom always loved to watch me play video games, especially Castlevania. She once burst in my room, handed me the controller and told me to start playing. I explained that I had a book report due the next day on "My Antonia," by Willa Cather. She took my notebook and said, "I've read it before. You kill, I write." She finished that report in time for the Mummy Twins fight. I got the best grade ever.-Anonymous

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Pwn Up: Magic the Condoming

By Kevin Corrigan / March 16, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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When I used to need to pee between Warcraft 3: Frozen Throne matches, I peed in the sink in the kitchen. It was closer than the bathroom.-Anonymous

I walked eight miles in the mid-day Florida sun to buy Pokemon: White on launch day. If I had waited until the next day, I would have had money for the bus.-Chris

I got an EvE Online tattoo on my right arm a few months back. And a Deus Ex tattoo on my left arm. Yeaaaaah!-Anonymous (Picture below)

My dad and I have always been gamers. We each have our own PS3 in different parts of the house. He got his because I wouldn't let him play mine while I was sleeping. It had unintended consequences. My dad recently had a videogame night for him and his friends. I was not invited.-A Regretful Son

Filed Under   pwn my life