Filed Under » pwn my life

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

I just proposed to my girlfriend. We started planning everything, and I mentioned I wanted to have Solid Snake and Meryl cake toppers. She asked who they were. I told her a requirement to marrying me was to play through MGS1 with me before the ceremony. She said yes!
-Kyle (who sounds more excited to play MGS than to get married)

My fiance and I split up four months ago, after I spent months planning the perfect wedding. It was a zombie-themed wedding, complete with a zombie flash mob that would do the Thriller dance during our first dance, steam punk wedding bands, two wedding cakes (a companion cube and a human head, with red velvet cake brains), 5-inch floppy disk invitations, and a DJ playing nothing but MC Lars, MC Chris, MC Frontalot, etc. My perfect wedding was ruined by the groom.
-BrooklyneB

I secretly like the hair on my toes because it makes me feel like I’m part-hobbit.
-Paige

Two months ago I was coming back to my dorm pretty late. I noticed someone playing Skyward Sword in one of the TV lounges. I’m a huge Zelda fan, so I stopped in to see who it was. It turned out to be an insanely cute girl. Her roommates were using her TV so she’d been Zelda-xiled. We got to talking, and she was quite knowledgable about the whole series. Eventually I had to leave, because she was at the same point in the game as I was, and I didn’t want any spoilers. By a stroke of luck, a friend of hers knew who I was and she added me on Facebook. Two weeks later I asked her out. We’ve been dating ever since.
-Anonymous

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

There is this girl I like, but she has a boyfriend and thinks of me only as a friend. Then one evening we were alone and eventually made out. The first thing I said after was “achievement unlocked.” She decided to stay with her boyfriend.
-Anonymous

In college, I convinced the campus doctor that I had a ADHD and got an Adderall prescription. I didn’t have ADHD. I did it so I could stay up all night playing Socom and remain attentive and alert. That’s right. I needed performance enhancing drugs to maintain my 3:1 kill-death ratio.
-Brennan

Last night, I dreamed I was in Skyrim. The dream included long loading screens.
-Anonymous

I was asked to play piano for a funeral. They wanted me to play for about a hour and a half. After 45 minutes, I was running out of songs. I took a risky move and played the Dire Dire Docks theme from Super Mario 64. Nobody noticed. In fact, everybody loved the song.
-Anonymous

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Last week I went to a hockey game. There was a young girl sitting next to me. She was playing a DS. I noticed that she dropped her stylus, so I picked it up for her. “Here, I think you dropped this,” said I. “Oh, thanks buddy,” said her father. “She’s always losing that thing.” I chuckled and said, “I know how they can be, I have one of my own.” “Yeah. They’re something special all right,” he said. “They sure are,” I said. I think he thought I was talking about daughters. I was talking about my DS.
-G

I have a little Christmas tradition (late I know, shut up). On Christmas Eve, I go into every one of my Pokemon games and send each character home for Christmas to spend it with their mom.
-Anonymous

After realizing how massive the Skyrim world is, I printed out a map and taped it to my wall. I mark off the dungeons as I complete them with a marker. I’m too ashamed to let other people see it, so I keep it hidden under a college banner. I only take it out when my door is closed and locked.
-Nick S

My fiance and I are getting married in April. To get ready for the reception, she’s been having us practice with Dance Central 2.
-James

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

A few years ago, during Winter break from college, I finally got Fallout 3. I’d been dying to play it for months and I got my chance. When it was time to go back to school, I decided to stay home and keep playing Fallout instead. One of my classmates kept calling me asking why I wasn’t at school. I told him I was sick, while I was in my room getting stoned and playing Fallout all day. The next day I decided that exploring the gray ruins of the DC wasteland was more important than my associates degree in filmmaking and dropped out!
-Danny954

When my older sister and I stayed with our mom, we stayed in a cabin that was run by the environment. We needed the sun for electricity. We needed the rain to take a shower. At the time, we were both addicted to Black Ops. Both of us agreed that we’d rather have sunny days and play Black Ops than get to shower.
-Anonymous

I had a bright red scar on my nose for a year that’s starting to fade. I called it my geek scar. I got it because I was in bed, balancing my laptop precariously on my knees. If I left it on the bed the fan wouldn’t vent properly. It fell. The full weight of the computer hit me in the face via the edge of the screen.
-BEK

So far in my quest to complete Skyrim with every class in the next couple days I’ve: listened to my entire Wu-Tang Clan collection (almost everything they’ve done) four times, eaten two and a half family packs of Doritos, a 16-inch pizza, and five cans of Monster.
-Anonymous

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

I couldn’t drink or go out at all this New Years. I was stuck in my apartment on intravenous drug treatments. Instead, I set up my own pub crawl through Skyrim. I went from tavern to tavern, from hold to hold. I managed to blackout and wake up in a brand new city in a temple I apparently trashed. I’m wondering if I can make real Nord mead for next year and do it in real life.
-Anonymous

My husband and I tried for almost three years for me to get pregnant. It gave us plenty of time to discuss names. We decided we wanted our boy to be named after two animes we love. Well, it looks like the world will soon meet Jiriaya Elric.
-Dani M.

You get a companion named Lydia in Skyrim. Lydia also happens to be the name of my ex. The break-up hurt me quite a bit. In retribution, I blew her off of the Throat of the World using my unrelenting force voice power.
-Anonymous

A month ago, I went to my girlfriend’s country house. Her uncle let me ride a horse. When I was comfortable enough, I picked up a stick, road one-handed and yelled “For the middle Earth and for Frodo!” That freaked the horse out. It ran to it’s crib, which I smacked my head on. My girlfriend’s uncle and brothers had to drag me out.
-Hendrys

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

I worked at a GameStop out in the middle of nowhere Minnesota for a few years. It was the biggest city for miles, so people from all of the rural towns nearby would come to shop. These country folk called controllers many things, but rarely did they actually call them controllers. One time a man came in and asked me if the used GameCube we sold came with a handle. I looked at him long and hard before I said, “Yeah, it has a handle so you can carry it or something, I guess.” We were both were very confused for a long time until I realized he meant controller. He was not the last person to call them handles, but in the future I was more prepared.
-Anonymous

I just realized the first (and only) thing I’ve bought that I had to show ID for was when I bought my boyfriend Skyrim for Christmas.
-Anonymous

I have a lot of trouble waking up, regardless of time. I’ve tried various things over the years, from light up clocks, to multiple clocks at once. Nothing works. I adjust within a week. That was until I set my phone to play the drowning music from Sonic the Hedgehog 2. Now I’m out of bed with such speed that I’ve messed up my ankle twice.
-Joseph V.

My parents didn’t own a computer until I was 16. Before then, my friends would let me round-robin on Warcraft 2. I became so jealously addicted that I spent my free time designing a Warcraft board game using pennies and stickers. I put a ton of effort into it, using the Warcraft 2 manual for reference. My friends thought it was totally stupid, because they could just go home and play the real Warcraft 2.
-Anon

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

As people may know, Ireland is going through some tough economic times. More and more people are emigrating in search of jobs. Unfortunately, I will most likely be one of these people. I can’t afford to stay here anymore. Australia has been a popular choice amongst Irish people and with good reason; sun, sea and hot women. I ruled it out straight away because of the high price of videogames and tendency to ban games with an 18+ rating.
-Dan

I got drunk at my bachelorette party and got a tramp stamp tattoo of the classic Batman symbol.
-Lass

My OKCupid profile contains only the sentence, “I am ranked No.3 on the Leaderboard for Elvis Costello – ‘Pump It Up’ on Rock Band 3 on ProExpert Drums.’ I have yet to receive a single wink, message or reply.
-Anonymous

Back when I was in middle school, I had been looking forward to the new Ratchet and Clank game for awhile. I was really excited when I got home from school the day it was delivered to my house. I had just started playing when my parents brought me into the living room and tearfully told me that they were getting divorced. After staring at the floor for a minute, I said I had to think about what was happening alone for awhile. I went back to my room and played Ratchet and Clank until I beat it. It’s still one of the fondest memories I have from my childhood.
-Anonymous

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

I recently went to my local Gamestop and asked to pre-order Skyward Sword. The employee asked me, “OK, and which system did you want to pre-order Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword for?” I asked him to repeat the question, because I was sure he made a mistake. He did, and added, “Xbox 360 or PS3?” I blew up at him. I’m no longer allowed in the store. I feel like I won on principle.
-Anonymous

I’ve been going out with my girl for a year and a half now. For that year and a half I’ve been trying to get her to watch my favorite anime without success. Consequently, she’s been trying to get me to propose for the last year. The other night she watched Akira with me. Now we’re engaged.
-Anonymous

My greatest claim to fame is that I’ve seen my strategy for the Portuguese in Age of Empires III translated into three languages.
-Anonymous

I was sharing a shower with my girlfriend when she got water in her eyes. She said it was stinging. Rather than sympathize with her, I explained how that couldn’t be true because the pH would be roughly 7 after the various treatments water goes through. Then I told her about H+ and OH- ions and their effects on the pH of solutions. She wasn’t impressed to say the least.
-Padraig

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

A girl I’d been dating for a little over a month just broke up with me. As we all know, Skyrim just came out. I liked her and wanted to introduce her to my world, so I let her create a Skyrim character. She enjoyed it. Anyway, the break up hurt me a lot so I killed her wood elf to get even. Bitch.
-FrodoTheHutt

I pissed off a lot of guys on November 11 at Gamestop. They were there for the midnight release of Skyrim. I was there for the midnight release of Lego Harry Potter. I was first in line, and I took forever. The store clerk couldn’t find the game, it was buried in the back room somewhere.
-Sara S.

I’ve had Skyrim for over a week now, but I’m a high school teacher. I get less than an hour a day to play. My solution: I told my parents I was having Thanksgiving at my friends’ house. I told my friends I was having Thanksgiving with my family. I got to play Skyrim all day without worrying about cooking birds or drunk relatives.
-Mr. Fforde

In order to prepare for Skyrim, I played Red Dead Redemption and only used fire bottles. I pretended they were spells.
-Anonymous

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

As it turns out, Wal-Mart did not have a midnight release for Skyrim.
-Vash

I’m a Fedex driver. When I get packages with videogames in them I deliver them early.
-radarorly

I was probably hit the hardest in my county by the freak East Coast snowstorm this October. A branch hit the power line outside my house, then some idiot hit it and dragged the line and my meter box through my front yard. I’m still without power due to the bureaucracy of installing a new meter box and getting it inspected. Needless to say, the release of Skyrim made the situation much more dire. Today I asked a neighbor if I could do laundry at their house. They said yes, and that they’d be out of the house for a few hours. In light of this, I dragged a 32 inch LED monitor and my desktop to their house. Hope they don’t mind when they get home.
-Styger