Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #7

July 6, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

So me and my friend were playing COD4 and on the mic all we could hear is this really loud and annoying screaming. So we asked what it was. This was our answer: "Oh yeah, sorry guys that's my 3 year old daughter, one sec…… SHUT THE F@#K UP!!!!" The screaming stopped. -Colin

Kid: I'm coming! I'm coming!" I assume he was talking to his mom. Me: That's what she said.The game erupts in laughter.Kid: I don't get it.Room erupts in more laughter.Me: You will learn about it in college.-Matt

I got online on CODMOD 2, and said, "Hey everyone," and was met with the usual chorus of, "A GIRL?!" Then some 9 year old decided to be extremely original and say, "Bitch, make me a sammich!" So I retorted with, "I already did. It's sitting on your kitchen table." He left for a second, and when he came back, he said, terrified, "Oh my god there was really a sandwich there." I said, "I know, I made it." He immediately left.-Madison

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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #6

June 29, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I was in Halo Reach and doing well when a younger kid started shouting at me "Stop it you poopy-head!" I replied for the first time on mic in a hurt voice "Do you really think that of me?" I think he was stunned because he muttered an apology and left the game shortly after.-Lynn

A guy on our team playing MW2 was unleashing a fury of swears across the mic, due to his constantly getting spawn killed. He yells "GOD DAMN IT." To which another member of our team says "God doesn't need a dam, he can walk on water."-Alex

We were searching for a MLG Halo game for a few minutes and when we finally got matched up, one of our teammates (not a random guy) said "My horses cut loose. I got to go!". We were really annoyed, thinking that was just some stupid excuse for something. 20 Minutes later he came back and his story really was true: His f*cking horses ran away.-Shady IIV

Once, when playing Halo 3, one of the guys on my team had his mic open while his girlfriend broke up with him. He didn't stop playing. -Thomas 

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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #5

June 22, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

Playing MW2Player A: They're all in the bunker, you guys go in the back door.Player B (without missing a beat): That's what she said.-Ross H.

During a CoD MW2 game these two kids on my team were going at it about bitch play styles and what not. When one of them seemed to be backed into a corner he came back with the simple question of "What's your credit score? No seriously, tell me your f*cking credit score!" He won the argument because the other kid had a sh*tty score.-Eric

"If someone doesn't shoot down that Harrier, I'm gunna fart in my hand and smell it!"-Brent

Last week I was playing Halo and this kid's Mom comes into the room and starts yelling at him to clean his room or she will start breaking things, He told her to F-off, Then we start hearing, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, not my DS! SMASH. Then no, no, not my Xbox… He went offline, we assume he got his Xbox smashed.-Josh

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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #4

June 17, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I was playing CoDMW2 and a kid, (I'm assuming about 13-14) announced after a 12 kill streak "I AM THE BRINGER OF DEATH AND DOOM! BOW BEFORE ME. NONE CAN STOP MY MIGHT", closely followed by "Honey, if you don't take out the trash I'm going to take you off your silly game." The reply from the kid was mostly warbled moans, pleads and cries.-Dave

I got rickroll'd over Xbox live.- Hunter K.

"I'm gonna cut your d*ck off and tape it to my d*ck! Then I'll have a super-d*ck!"- Brian D.

My friends and I were playing Call of Duty 4 and one of my friends is notorious for making fun of girls and little kids. This one match there happened to be a very annoying girl playing, and my one friend started picking on her trying to get her worked up. Halfway through the match, a little kid spoke up and told my friend to quit harassing her. Immediately after the kid said this, my friend told the kid that if he didn't shut the F*** up, he was going to spread the kids nut sack around his dick and use the skin to jerk off. The girl that the kid was defending laughed at the kid, who left moments later. - M0RM0NxMURDERER

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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #3

June 10, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

Some random little kid joined my Xbox live party to tell everyone in the party that he was going to bed and then signed off.
-Giuliano

The first truly online experience I had was the first time I played Call of Duty 4's multiplayer. The very first thing I hear from the speakers is, "If I stick my finger up my butt, does that make me gay?" From that moment forward I knew I was going to love the Call of Duty fanbase.
-Derek O.

I was playing Modern Warfare 2 and this little kid starts talking, he's probably 5-6 years old. He says "Hi, I'm Jake and my brother is letting me talk for him" so just to get a small laugh, I reply in a very polite and cordial tone "I'm sorry, that is a violation of XBOX Live rules and your brother can lose his account." All of a sudden I hear this kid bawling hysterically and him telling his brother through his tears that we aren't letting him talk. I burst out laughing, because honestly that's the only response I had. Nothing like accidentally making a small kid cry.
-Matt

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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #2

June 3, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

Kid 1: I hate when big kids call you out on stuff just because- Kid 2: Dude, you just said "big kids."- Calvin L.

In the middle of a Gears of War game, there were two guys split screening on our team. The one guy said that he had to go to the bathroom, but I noticed that he never stopped playing. I heard occasional grunting and bowel movements for the rest of the game. - Eric

I overheard a guy who sounded to be about 17 doing a drug deal on his cell phone during a free-for-all Halo 3 match. He won by nine kills.- Calvin L.

My friend and I joined a game, and our team was full of little kids. I assumed they were all friends, but then they all started yelling at each other. One kid said "I will rip your balls off!" About 5 seconds later, another kid in the background of all the other kids yelling at each other yells "I'm going to rip your balls off and put it on your pepperoni pizza!" - Ryan D

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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #1

May 27, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

Once while I was playing GTA4, there was this epic gun battle going on in the landing strip area of the Liberty City Airport. I was doing OK, but this one guy was on fire! Getting kills left and right, I heard him proclaim – "Mothaf*cka, I'm about to come up in yo' crib and help myself to yo' Frooty Pebbles."-Evan

I was playing Halo and there was some little kid having some sort of grunting match with his (male) friend and his mic on so I asked him if he was gay and he said "I'm not gay. I'm twelve."-John

"I'm gonna take a huge sh*t, put it in the freezer, wait 4-6 hours, take it out, sharpen it and stab you with it!" That's what a guy said to me during an Invasion game in Halo Reach.-Rodrigo

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