Article Overheard on Xbox Issue #37

February 8, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

While playing Ghost Recon on the original Xbox, over the mic we heard this guy's young daughter run in crying proclaiming "Steven bit me on my head!" Concerned, but obviously irritated by the distraction he asked "he did what?", to which she repeated still crying "he bit me on my head." His advice? "Well then bite him back!" The rest of the match the kids fought and screamed in the background, presumably gnawing each other. Regardless, thanks to this father's dedication, our team won.-Neil
Recently I was playing Borderlands on Xbox live. I am new to the game, so I didn't mind when a young kid was giving me items and showing me how to play. He seemed nice enough, and there hadn't been any racial slurs, so I figured why not? I'll keep playing. Shortly after we decided to be friends, he tried to get me to pretend to be his dad.  It was awkward, and I felt bad for the kid, but I couldn't help pressing the power button, backing away from the tv, and curling up in the fetal position.-Nick
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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #36

February 1, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

So the other night I was playing COD black ops with my friends split screen online, my girlfriend was with us and was bored as hell so I gave her my mic and told her to talk trash to people. She started to make fun of people and all of the sudden she started laughing hysterically. I asked her what happened and she said that all of the kids were just like "OH MY GOD ARE YOU A GIRL????" then started screaming out their phone numbers.-Danny B.
While recently playing Team Fortress 2, some of the players got into a conversation about the new option to rename weapons and what names to use, some were genuinely funny, some where pop culture references, etc. Soon though one of the younger players stated he wanted a suggestion to for a weapon by asking "My flame thrower is good at blowing people, what should I call it?" which was immediately replied with "name it after your sister."-Michael B.
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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #35

January 25, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I was playing COD:BO with my ex-girlfriend. When we played I always used to abuse a certain gamer. This was called iAmAsUpR1337 and I was going apesh*t at this guy and it didn't help that he was getting 1 kill every 4 deaths. So this kid goes offline after ten minutes of pure abuse and after the game me and my girlfriend go to sleep . When we arrived at her parents house her younger brother, who is seven, said that he finally got Live and Black Ops. I asked him what his gamertag was and he said IAmAsUpR1337. My girlfriend broke-up with me the same day.-Eli
I was playing Left 4 Dead 2 online and I started making conversation with a guy on my team. I told him I was having a good vacation, and then asked him "are you on Spring Break, too?" to which he replied "everyday is spring break when you're unemployed."-Julien
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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #34

January 18, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I was playing zombies on Black Ops with some strangers on PSN. Only one guy had a mic, so he decided to start telling us his tragic life story. RANDOM DUDE WITH A MIC: I live in Boston, I'm unemployed right now, and I have to raise my 2 and a half year old daughter. All I do all day is take care of her and play zombies. I know the entire map by heart, and NO DON'T SHOOT THE CRAWLERS!!!-William
I started playing Halo Reach on Xbox live and hear some twelve year old talking. I guess he was doing science homework or something because he asked "Hey, my teacher wants to know how many atoms are on a penny. I think it's a trick question 'cause JOHN ATOMS (his words) is on the penny, so I should put one." He then proceeds to talk about how maybe the answer is 1991 because that is the date on the penny. He then decides his final answer is 1992, which he got by adding his two answers together. Then he said "I can't wait to be my only one in this class to get the right answer. He could not figure out why everyone was laughing at him.-Joshua G.
I was playing a round of MW2 TDM on Trailer Park. After the match was over, I heard someone with a southern accent saying the reason he did so badly was that he had dial-up. Free dial-up, at that. He was also playing on a black-and-white TV.-Michael K.
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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #33

January 11, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

One day I was playing black ops with my friends and generally acting like an ass. After the match, some guy on my team sent me a message calling me retarded. Later, before stopping playing, I took a look at his gamercard and noticed that he was watching the usual suspects on netflix. Having seen that movie, I replied to his message by telling him who Keyser Soze was.-JCH
A while ago I was playing Halo 3 and there were two players called Obama(…) and America(…). And I guess they were playing like anyone else, when Obama betrayed America, and so there stood: Obama(…) betrayed America(…). I was playing with a bunch of friends, so we laughed our ass off.-Cpkiller1
I was playing black ops one night and heard in the lobby a few people talking. During their conversation one of them blurted out "Cody's sister pissed in the fridge dude." -Schaffe
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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #32

January 4, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

Playing hardcore TDM on Black Ops I joined a lobby with about 10 seconds before Nuketown started. I had obviously joined in the middle of a conversation because all I heard was "… I don't care if she apologizes and scrubs her feet with Ajax, I'm going to stay here and play until about 3:30."-Steve
So one day me and my buddy Dilly were playing RBSV2 with a guy who must have been 13 to 15 years old. We started hearing his mom on the other end of the mic. His mom was asking him if he was gay or not, because she was trying to set him up with the neighbor's gay son. His reply to his mother was "I'm only gay on Tuesday, Mom!"SD
While playing a game of Halo 2 a while back my friends and I were playing a marathon of team slayer with our Aussie friend Static. After about an hour or so, one of our friends left and was promptly replaced with my friend's little brother. After a particularly exciting game where Static went 18-0 my friend's little brother stated the following:
Brother: Static I've been wondering something.Static: Yes?Brother: How the hell do you get electricity to your hut?There was a long silence followed by a burst of laughter when we realized he was serious.Static: I have a kangaroo on a treadmill in my backyard.-Joe
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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #31

December 21, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I was playing Black Ops and I was in the pre-game lobby, when someone asked if anyone had seen the latest episode of Sons of Anarchy. Some guy decided he was going to be a smart-ass and said, "I don't watch that show because it glorifies things that I don't appreciate. I only watch shows that have values and things that I support." Some other guy spoke up and said, "Yeah, that's why you have all season's of To Catch A Predator on DVD." -Big Steve
So I was playing some Free Roam on Red Dead Redemption and I pass this guy who is just standing out in a field doing nothing. I ride up and all I hear on his mic is "fap, fap, fap, fap,fap" followed by grunting. -SHOTBlocker4044
One day while playing MW2 with a coworker, he said "The bigger they are, the harder they fall" since he unlocked the challenge. I regret it to this day, but my response was "No, the bigger they are, the harder you choke!" He never really looked at me the same.-Aaron
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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #30

December 14, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

One of my best friends hates campers, so we called him the Park Ranger. He didn't like it, and thought it was really dumb. One day while playing with him on MW2 on team Deathmatch, he started killing all the campers, one guy was being a particular douche about it, and so on the game winning kill he gets the camper and says over the mic, "The Park Ranger says no camping." Everyone laughed their asses off.-Michael
While playing a sixteen-man game of HALO: Reach, one of my friends asked who "Respawn" was and how/why he kept killing her.-Oscar
So there I am being an idiot on the Wii version of black ops using the headbanger headset and singing Justin Bieber songs very badly and this kid is all like "shut up! You can't even sing!" throughout the entire four matches he put up with me. Fortunately the Wii didn't have headsets before so all these six year olds don't know about the muting option. Now I can sing Justin Bieber all day and these six year olds have to put up with it.-Joe Momma
I was playing a free-for-all wager match on Black Ops, and after discovering he wasn't the only one with a mic, a guy spoke up and said, "Hey, is it strange that I'm playing Call of Duty naked?" I responded: "Not if you win."-Dan
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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #29

December 7, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

Once, a buddy and myself were playing Halo 2 on Live and my friend thought it would be funny to start killing everyone on his team. After somehow not getting booted, the game ended with everyone furious and screaming at my friend for making us have such a low score. His response was he thought they were playing golf rules.- Connor "Balls-Out" B.
"Stop grunting and screaming lad, that's your mother's job." - Jon
While playing Black Ops a guy in the lobby who went 4-12 said, "I'm trying to teach my daughter about fractions. See Honey this is 1/3."- Jonathan
I went into a lobby the other day and came in mid-conversation between 10-year olds.Kid 1: So, how many kids do you want when you get older?Kid 2: I don't know, 5? Yeah, 5.Kid 1: Cool, I want 3, one for each gender!long pauseKid 1: Boy, Girl, and abortion!- Brody
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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #28

November 30, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I was playing Nazi zombies with some friends on black ops on kino der toten and it was about round 20. We were backing up a flight of stairs all grouped together and there were tons of zombies just down the stairs. One of my friends then proceeded to say "I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE CARRIED LIKE A ROCK STAR!" and he jumped down the flight of stairs on top of all the zombies. Everyone died that round from too much laughing.-Ryan K.
Me and a friend were playing COD4 and a little kid who was probably 10 on our team would say "you're a little bitch" every time he would die. Eventually my friend asked him where he heard that from and he replied with "That's what my dad says to my mom" in a little whiny voice. -Andy
I was playing MW2 with my friend when I called in an Attack Helicopter. Me: Attack Helicopter! I choose you!Friend: A wild helicopter appears.Me: Attack Helicopter, use Big Ass Machinegun!Friend: It's super effective!Then the enemy shot my helicopter down.Me: Attack Helicopter has fainted.-Corey
Playing MW2"This map is a piece of Gonorrhea." -Lauren
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