Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #46

By Jeff Rosenberg / April 19, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail

I tried Kinect for the first time last night at my friend's house. During an intense game of Beach Volleyball I tried to spike the ball, and proceeded to scrape my hand on his spackled cement ceiling. My hand started to bleed profusely all over the floor. Instead of pausing the game though, we decided to finish the match. Needless to say, I had major bragging rights on the ride to the hospital to stitch my hand back up.-Jon
This happened to a female friend of mine. Her (now ex) boyfriend was playing Team Fortress 2 online, when she decided she was bored, so she dressed up in her best lingerie and seductively walked out to the living room. She leaned up against the wall and gave him a 'come hither' and all she got in reply was "Not now. I'm playing team fortress." She very angrily returned to being bored in the room. He slept on the couch.-Pman
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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #45

April 12, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I once knew a guy who made his GT "like seven midgets", so when playing online with him you'd get messages like "You killed like seven midgets" or "You were beaten down by like seven midgets".-Kristen
I was playing COD:MW2 and I walked into a lobby and into the middle of a conversation between some people and this girl.Girl: "Yes. I'm a girl" Boy 1: "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?"Boy 2 "Yea, you should be making me a sandwich with you left hand cause girls don't have rights." (Get it?)The room: (laughing)Girl: "OMG, that's racist!!"The room: (slient)
Not that it really matters, but her avatar was blond…-Phil
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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #44

April 5, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I have found that playing in the nude improves my KD. The whipped cream doesnt hurt, either.-Zach
I just overheard my younger brother telling his friend over Xbox to "Watch out, they're taking us from behind!" while playing CoD Zombie. -Tild
I was playing in a COD: BO Team Deathmatch and a little kid was repeating what everyone saying ex., 'You're an ass' 'No, YOU'RE an ass'. Until one point someone said 'Yeah that's funny, If I wanted my own come back I would've wiped it off of you're mothers chin.' The kid raged-quit a few moments later.-Matt
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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #43

March 29, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I was playing infection in Halo Reach and the last man standing was about seven years old. After he screamed at us in a really high pitched voice about how he was going to rape us, I intervened and told him to shut the f*ck up, his voice was too high for human ears. He asked me why he should shut up, so I told him that if he didn't I would shove my energy sword so far up his ass he would sh*t blur for a week. Then I assassinated him.-Keefe
I was playing team slayer on Halo Reach and as usual I get one of those annoying kids with a squeaky voice. I ignored him at first, but he kept giggling every other second. I continued to ignore him until he starting moaning through his mic like two teens in the backseat of a car. After he stopped moaning he started laughing again and said "It's so funny when my parents snore." -Nick
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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #42

March 22, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I'm playing COD: Black Ops with a full team of my friends during the map loading screen. In my best Justin Bieber Fan girl voice yell "Justin Bieber Powers Activate!" Everyone in the game is quiet for 10 Seconds and start laughing their asses off the match starts and I go 30-2. I still yell it every now and then-Anonymous
After several matches of a black guy and a redneck yelling at each other in Black Ops, the black guy called the redneck a racist, to which the redneck replied: "I'm not racist, I have colored television."-Michael
My friend and I were playing a game of Modern Warfare 2 and this little kid told my friend he was going to bang the crap out his mom. My friend responded with, "I have two dads."-Tyler
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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #41

March 15, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I was playing team deathmatch on Call of Duty: Black Ops yesterday when I heard someone open a door very loudly and yell "Whats up?! Are you winning?" followed by the guy saying "Dude! Knock before you just barge in here! What if I was masturbating!?"-Cody
While playing Halo 2 a few years ago some kid who couldn't have been older than 11 was talking sh*t. After a few games of this my friend asks "Are you even allowed in your mom's room?" The kid says yes, quite proudly, so my friend replies with "wake me up in the morning".-BigDog
My gamertag on Xbox live is Kira, now for any of you who've seen Death Note you get it. But a lot of people think I'm a girl because of it. Well one day I was in the lobby of a Halo 3 game, and as soon as I entered some 12 year old kid is like "Ooh, Kira, it's a girl." and rambling on about that, then I go "Hey, sup?" in a pretty deep voice. His response "Oh sh*t!" and left the game.-Josh
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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #40

March 8, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I was speaking french to a friend of mine on Modern Warfare 2 and some genius, who had earlier claimed to be from the United states, said, "Oh god are you British or some sh*t?" He clearly failed every class of history and geography he's ever been in. —Paul
So I walk into my brother's room to ask him something. He'd just joined a Black Ops lobby when we heard some guy say, "Dude! She's fugly!" and the reply was "I think my mother is pretty fit, actually." —Oli
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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #39

March 1, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I had just joined a game of Black Ops on X-box and the first thing I hear is this little kid saying, "No Calvin you can't come inside, you just rolled around in sh*t!" To this day I don't know if he was talking to his younger brother or dog, but this conversation went on for the rest of the match. Me and my friends could not stop laughing.-Mark
I typically choose not to talk much on COD BlackOps unless I'm playing with people from my friend's list.  I was rolling hardcore CTF solo one day and was teamed up with a party of 5.  I'm guessing they were around 18-21 years old.  They were good teammates and were calling out the opposition for the first half of the match.  As we were switching sides a guy on my team started acting like a radio DJ.  He was actually making some fairly funny comments and everyone on my team stopped talking and was just listening to him.  He went on for a few more minutes when I took my TurtleBeach's off mute and said "I would like to make a request.  Can you play TLC, No Scrubs." He paused for about 10 seconds and then says (in a perfect Radio DJ voice) "We just got a request in so going out to GaveURmomCrabs (my gamertag) we have No Scrubs by TLC" then he played the song over his headset and everyone on my team just sat there listening to the entire song for the rest of the match.  I don't know if I was more impressed with his ability to keep his composure or his ability to play "No Scrubs" within 10 seconds of me making the request. -GaveURmomCrabs
Once I was playing Halo Reach and breaking this guy for being terrible. I made a 'your mom' joke and he says "Well, my parents are dead. How does that make you feel?" Like 5 seconds later all you hear is "MIKEY! YOUR SANDWICH IS READY!" then you hear "MIKEY, YOUR 22 AND HAVE NO JOB. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET A GIRLFRIEND AND MOVE OUT OF MY HOUSE?" -Wynntai
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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #38

February 22, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

So today I was playing matchmade Living Dead on Reach. Someone pipes up in the lobby with a voice that sounds like a 12 year old girl speaking gibberish. As it turns out, it was a British kid who was 4. We all ripped on him saying he was too young to play Halo and that he should get off of his brother's Xbox. The match starts, he kills half of the zombies, and was the last man standing every round. He shut us up real fast.-John
Me, post-game lobby in Halo Reach after getting a triple kill with the sword:"Why did you guys just line up for me to kill you like that?"Other team member: "It's an old French tactic."-Rory
One night my friend and I were playing Black Ops Nazi Zombies, we didn't have enough people to start a private match so we searched for people to play with online. We were both in a party so we couldn't hear the two guys in gamechat talking, so of course we wanted to communicate with them so we didn't die, thus going to game chat. One guy was apparently just blowing wind in his mic and the other was quiet. My friend and I start talking and after about ten minutes into the game we heard from the quiet guy's mic, "I swear to God Sharleen if you sh*t on my shoulder blade one more time, I'll beat you with the broom again!" We proceeded to laugh so hard I kicked my modem, disconnecting me from Xbox Live.-Dave
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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #37

February 15, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I was playing a match of Zombies with some of my friends, we were on the Black Ops map – Kino. My friend jumped behind another one of my friends and shot a zombie in the chest. The guy who got his 10 points stolen quit the game. He was the host. We were on round 24.-Tom
I was playing Black Ops the other day against a clan and on the load out screen for Nuketown heard two of the guys who sounded pretty young and Hispanic talking. "Dude, if you had to had to do your mom, sister, dad, or brother, which would it be?" To which the other guy answered, "Wait. Which brother?" I couldn't stop laughing the whole match.-E-D4S
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