Filed Under » marvel vs. capcom

Mega Man

I honestly don’t blame them for not including me. They really needed the extra space for the gaggle of Resident Evil chumps. It’s a pretty great move, so long as you ignore the fact that survival horror characters bring nothing to the fighting game table. But if they happen to come upon any puzzles mid-combo, they’ll totally be prepared! Besides, the Mega Man void has been filled by the all-powerful Zero. I mean, the guy has a ponytail! How cool is that?

Seriously, though: Get a haircut you f**king robot hippie. I’d rather play as Servbot.

Cyclops

I used to be the face of this series. The cover of “X-Men vs. Street Fighter” had me shaking hands with Ryu. Now the guy won’t even return my calls. Why does Capcom hate me? I shoot lasers out of my eyes. I am the leader of the X-Men and they include a f**king Sentinel over me! That’d be like making a Ninja Turtles fighting game and replacing Leonardo with a foot soldier. Though I’ll bet they would have had the decency to give Leonardo a severance package. I had to sell my microwave to pay rent this month. Do you have any idea how degrading it is to heat up a Hot Pocket with an optic blast?