September 26, 2011
Picture Ganondorf Ortiz
He'll be the Great King of Being Picked on For Having a Weird Name.
December 10, 2010
Picture Ganon's Past
Funny, I always pictured Ganon as more of a Chalky Studebaker.
September 02, 2010
Picture Ganon's Weakness
"And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for that meddling kid! And his dumb fairy too!"
Article Ganon's Henchmen Speak Up
- Ganon
OK. No further new business so I’ll open this meeting to public forum.
- Helmasaur
I have a question. So, as you know, I was born with this green crystal in the middle of my head. It’s the only part of my body that’s not impervious to damage. It’s why I wear this helmet.
- Ganon
Of course. I built that helmet. It’s a masterpiece of craftsmanship. It can only be cracked by the most magical of hammers.
- Helmasaur
That’s what I wanted to talk about. You keep a magic hammer in the Palace of Darkness, which is the palace I’m assigned to. I feel like maybe you could keep it in the Swamp of evil, or even throw it in the Lake of Ill Omen…
- Ganon
Relax. Helmasaur, you have nothing to worry about. That hammer is locked in a special treasure chest that can only be opened by one key.
- Helmasaur
Right, but that key is in my dungeon, too. It’s in a treasure chest that can be opened by any key. And once you have that, all you have to do is find your way through a dark room to get the hammer.
- Ganon
It hasn’t been a problem yet.
- Helmasaur
No one has attacked us yet. I’m just saying, maybe I should guard the hammer, or the key, or both.
- Ganon
You’re guarding one of the seven maidens. You have enough to worry about.
- Helmasaur
OK, but why have that other stuff in there at all? And why do I need to stay in the most remote room in the dungeon? It would make more sense if I waited by the entrance and killed anyone who entered.
