Pwn? Noob? Leet? These terms are outdated and, frankly, a little childish-sounding. We associate them with the worst of gamers: the hyperbolically-angry, loud, anti-social, shut-in gamers of the world. It's time to retire these old terms and replace them with some new ones that would be more in line with the world today. Here are our suggestions for what terms could replace the old slang.
What We Should Replace It With: Pichu
Pichu is an example of a terrible idea someone at Pokemon had to add worse, weaker pre-evolutions of existing Pokemon. Imagine being a Pokemon designer, looking at something like Pikachu or Jynx, and saying "Nah, we need this but worse." Pichu is probably the most well-known of these horrible ideas, so let's start calling unreasonably bad players Pichu. Because Pichu sucks.
Example: "Did he seriously just try to no scope that sniper? What a Pichu."
What We Should Replace It With: Dwayne Johnson'd
Listen you could say you "rocked" someone, as in destroying them in a showy manner. But we don't say "rock" anymore we say "Dwayne Johnson." Look at the credits for Fast & Furious 6. Welcome to the 21st century.
Example: "30 kills, no deaths. I totally Dwayne Johnson'd you Pichus that game."