September 21, 2010
Link Steve Wiebe Recaptures Donkey Kong High Score
Billy Mitchell still has the record for most American Flag ties worn in public.
August 31, 2010
Picture Donkey Kong Office Building
They've already lost half their workers to barrel-related fatalities.
Article Crisis in Donkey Kong Country
Donkey Kong breaks open a barrel containing Diddy Kong. Diddy falls out, dazed.
- Donkey
Diddy! Are you all right?
- Diddy
(rubbing his head) Jeez… what happened?
- Donkey
King K. Rool has stolen all of our bananas! The entire hoard’s gone!
- Diddy
No! God, no…
- Donkey
I know. So we’ve got to get them back. Luckily he left a trail of perpetually spinning bananas that lead to his hideout.
- Diddy
All right, let’s – hey, wait. Perpetually spinning bananas?
- Donkey
Yeah. Look.
They both look at a nearby line of three bananas, each one spinning in the air.
- Donkey
Oh, also, all the spinning bananas hover.
- Diddy
Jesus… And there’s a trail of these? All the way to his hideout? The one in that boat that’s miles away?
- Donkey
Yeah. A trail of thousands of hovering, spinning bananas. So?
Article 7 Gritty Reboots of Famous Games
