Article Messing With MissingNo

November 15, 2010
  1. Trainer 1

    Dude! Guess which Pokémon I just caught!

  2. Trainer 2

    Hmm, a Pikachu that you're never going to keep in a ball and let follow you everywhere you go?

  3. Trainer 1

    MissingNo!

  4. Trainer 2

    Uh oh…

  5. Trainer 1

    What do you mean "uh oh?"

  6. Trainer 2

    Dude, you gotta get rid of it quick. Like now.

  7. Trainer 1

    Are you sh*tting me? Do you know what I had to do to get it?

  8. Trainer 2

    You seriously need to put it back where you got it from. I sugges—

  9. Trainer 1

    I had to talk to a creepy old man and make him teach me how to catch a Pokémon, fly on a f*cking Pidgey to Cinnabar Island, then use it to surf up and down the shore.

  10. Trainer 2

    Do you not know what MissingNo is?

Filed Under   conversations   pokemon

Article Luigi Has Had Enough

November 10, 2010
  1. Mario

    Hey nerd.

  2. Luigi

    Mario, I am sick of your attitude.

  3. Mario

    Psh. Whatever. I'm a hero, okay? You're a side-kick.

  4. Luigi

    Listen, I conquered a haunted mansion. Why does no one remember that? I saved your life from ghosts.

  5. Mario

    Hey bro, I was too busy exploring the galaxy, right? Am I right?

  6. Luigi

    You can't even hurt Boos man. I've seen you, with fire-flowers, stars, nothing. I eradicated a haunted mansion while you were Super Mario Sunshine-ing.

  7. Mario

    Yeah, well-

  8. Luigi

    Super Mario Sunshine? Come on. That sounds like an off-brand poorly translated detergent.

  9. Mario

    Woah, bro. Slow clap for that.

  10. Luigi

    Okay, seriously man, you're just being a jerk. You always do that,

  11. Mario

    Jealous much, dweeb?

  12. Luigi

    Keep pushing me, Mario. Keep going.

  13. Mario

    What are you gonna do? Oh, and even Wario's had some games, you know. And no one likes Wario.

  14. Luigi

    Hey Mario, where do you think all the Koopa Kids come from?

Filed Under   conversations   mario   luigi

Article Professor Oak Isn't a Good Professor

November 8, 2010
  1. Professor Oak

    Ah, Red, you're back. Did you study the mating habits of the Wigglytuff?

  2. Red

    Professor, we have to talk.

  3. Professor Oak

    About the Poke'dex-

  4. Red

    What kind of professor are you?

  5. Professor Oak

    Excuse me?

  6. Red

    You know that level five poke'mon are really, really low, right?

  7. Professor Oak

    Well-

  8. Red

    And three of them is not a lot of Poke'mon for a world famous professor to have. At first I was like, "oh, wow, a Poke'mon!". It turns out there are lots and lots of Poke'mon.

  9. Professor Oak

    Yeah, well-

  10. Red

    What, you never saw a Rattata? They're everywhere. Level eights. Here, I got you twelve.

  11. Professor Oak

    Why, the Poke'dex must have helped-

Filed Under   conversations   pokemon

Article Covenant Armor is Stupid

November 3, 2010
  1. Elite

    Hierarch! I have returned from battle. I have slain many humans and have brought honor and glory to the Covenant!

  2. Hierarch

    Excellent work, my child. I hereby promote you to the rank of General.

  3. Elite

    Yessss!

  4. Hierarch

    And, as befitting a warrior of your stature, you will be given this glorious golden armor to wear into battle.

  5. Elite

    Um.

  6. Hierarch

    And this giant golden helmet. And this light-up energy sword.

  7. Elite

    Actually…

  8. Hierarch

    Next!

  9. Elite

    Hang on. Don't we have a camouflage pattern, or-

  10. Hierarch

    NEXT!

  11. Elite

    Wait, don't you think this is a little showy for a soldier's uniform? It doesn't really blend into the battlefield. Actually, now that I think about it, nothing we own does.

  12. Hierarch

    YOU DARE QUESTION YOUR PROPHET?

Filed Under   conversations   halo

Article Smash Bros. Isn't Fair

October 27, 2010
  1. Link

    Okay, everyone ready?

  2. Ness

    Yeah.

  3. Captain Falcon

    Let's do this.

  4. Mario

    Wait, wait, hold up. This is a-absurd!

  5. Link

    Stutter or accent?

  6. Mario

    A-screw you. You have a sword!

  7. Link

    Oh, this? Yeah, but don't worry. I'm not very good.

  8. Mario

    How can you not be good? You have a sword!

  9. Link

    And bombs.

  10. Mario

    All I can do is punch people!

  11. Captain Falcon

    Oh, me too.

  12. Mario

    See? And-

  13. Captain Falcon

    Except a giant falcon made of fire hits them and it's totally lethal. Those kind of punches.

  14. Mario

    And-also, we're fighting a mouse and a kid! How can I hit a kid?

Filed Under   smash bros   conversations

Article StarCraft Surgery

October 25, 2010
  1. Marine

    Ahh, I got cut deep bro.

  2. Marauder

    Hang in there! We'll get you patched up quick.

  3. Marine

    Did you bring a Medic?

  4. Marauder

    Even better, a Medivac.

  5. Medivac

    Talk to me.

  6. Marine

    Is that new? Are they going to do the surgery in the ship?

  7. Marauder

    Nope, they do it from the air.

  8. Marine

    What?! How does that even work?

  9. Medivac

    We use a complicated system of lasers to cut and suture you up, but I pretty much just point and shoot.

  10. Marine

    From hundreds of feet in the air?! What about painkillers? Do you have anesthetics?

  11. Medivac

    Nah, just more lasers. Hold still.

  12. Marine

    Ahhh!

Filed Under   starcraft   conversations

Article More Than Mario Bargained For

October 20, 2010
  1. Toad

    Thank you Mario! But our princess is in another castle!

  2. Mario

    Well, okay-wait, what?

  3. Toad

    Another-

  4. Mario

    Another castle? You mean there's more than one castle?

  5. Toad

  6. Mario

    Because a castle is a pretty big deal. I was all "well, here's the castle! And a boss battle! Game over". Seemed pretty final.

  7. Toad

    We have a lot of castles.

  8. Mario

    What kind of housing market exclusively has castles? And I have to return Princess Peach to her castle…

  9. Toad

    Everyone has a castle!

  10. Mario

    Not me. I live in Brooklyn. Luigi sometimes goes hungry.

  11. Toad

    Only Luigi?

Filed Under   conversations   mario

Article Ryu's First Date

October 18, 2010
  1. Stacey

    …And that's how I became a lawyer. And what did you say you did again?

  2. Ryu

    Oh, I'm a street fighter.

  3. Stacey

    Huh?

  4. Ryu

    I fight people on the street. Street fighter.

  5. Stacey

    Like, hobos?

  6. Ryu

    No. Well, sometimes. Okay, often. But sometimes I fight other super fighters. Like my best friend Ken.

  7. Stacey

    You fight your best friend?

  8. Ryu

    Yes. Also my enemies, though. That part makes more sense.

  9. Stacey

    And you do this exclusively on streets.

  10. Ryu

    Well, sometimes in arenas, or secret labs. But yeah, often we fight on streets. Like, definitely more than actual fighters should be.

  11. Stacey

    Maybe you should do something more important. Than, like attacking hobos. Do you make anything from this?

Filed Under   conversations   street fighter

Article Ash Discovers New Pokemon

October 11, 2010
  1. Ash

    Professor Oak! Check out the new Pokemon I caught

  2. Prof. Oak

    Excellent news Ash! I'm always excited to update my Pokedex, let me see them.

  3. Ash

    I think this one might be a normal-type Pokemon.

  4. Dog

    Woof.

  5. Prof. Oak

    Uhh Ash, that's a dog.

  6. Ash

    Cool, a Dog!

  7. Prof. Oak

    No, that's not a Pokemon, it's just a common dog. Looks like a yellow-lab.

  8. Ash

    I don't understand.

  9. Prof. Oak

    Dogs are animals, they don't have special abilities like Pokemon.

  10. Ash

    You just haven't seen them yet. Dog! Use speak-attack!

  11. Dog

    Woof, woof!

  12. Prof. Oak

    He's just barking.

  13. Ash

    He knows growl and bite too. Dog! Go!

  14. Dog

    Grrr.

  15. The dog bites Prof. Oak.

  16. Prof. Oak

    What the hell Ash! Dogs aren't supposed to attack people.

Filed Under   conversations   pokemon

Article Videogame Doctors Talk it Out

October 6, 2010
  1. Dr. Robotnik

    Alright, if we work together we should win this. I mean, we're doctors, right?

  2. Dr. Wily

    Absolutely, Dr.Robotnik-Man.

  3. Dr. Robotnik

    Not everything has 'Man' as a suffix, Wily.

  4. Dr. Wily

    Whatever you say, Eggman-man…

  5. Dr. Robotnik

    What did you call me!?

  6. Dr. Wily

    So, uh, what robot is defeating your robots?

  7. Dr. Robotnik

    Huh?

  8. Dr. Wily

    You know, what robot is better and beating your robots? You know, if we examine his mechanical weakness-

  9. Dr. Robotnik

    It's, um, a hedgehog.

  10. Dr. Wily

    Excuse me?

  11. Dr. Robotnik

    Sometimes a fox, too. He can fly.

  12. Dr. Wily

    Oh that's cool. I have to battle a super robot. You know, a Mega-man. He's like a super robot who can steal powers and use them. But, no dude, small mammals, wow…that's intense.

Filed Under   conversations   sonic