Article Spyro is Pissed

December 20, 2010
  1. Spyro

    Alright, what's on our schedule today? Lots to do. I'm thinking crossover. Maybe a comic…

  2. Exec

    Spyro, I…I don't know how to keep telling you. It's over. No one likes you.

  3. Spyro

    What? I'm freaking Spyro. The Playstation mascot. Who is bigger than me?

  4. Exec

    Well, uh, Mario, for starters.

  5. Spyro

    Mario? The Plumber? Get out of here.

  6. Exec

    He's really popular. Everyone loves plumbers.

  7. Spyro

    You know what else is popular? Dragons. Dragons are popular.

  8. Exec

    He has a giant lizard too. So cool…

Filed Under   conversations   spyro

Article More Minerals

December 15, 2010
  1. Commander

    Okay guys. The Zerg rush is coming faster than we thought. I'm going to need four guys-quick!

  2. Pause.

  3. Commander

    Hello? Guys in the barracks?

  4. Marine

    I won't shoot anyone until I get some minerals.

  5. Commander

    What?

  6. Marauder

    Me too! And I want gas.

  7. Commander

    Why do you want-

  8. Marauder

    I require more vespene gas.

  9. Commander

    That makes no sense. And how do you want me to deliver you gas? And why?

Filed Under   starcraft   conversations

Article Dr. Mario Isn't a Real Doctor

December 13, 2010
  1. Dr. Mario

    I'm sorry, but your wife has a virus. Well three viruses actually.

  2. Mr. Holdings

    Three viruses?! How is that even possible? What are they?

  3. Dr. Mario

    After much research though it seems she has a red, blue, and yellow virus.

  4. Mr. Holdings

    I'm sorry, what?

  5. Dr. Mario

    We've decided to name the blue virus 'Chill', the red virus 'Fever', and the yellow virus 'Weird'.

  6. Mr. Holdings

    So she has a fever and a chill?

  7. Dr. Mario

    No, no. Those are the names I've given the viruses. The names really have nothing to do with the symptoms that they are causing.

  8. Mr. Holdings

    …Is there another doctor here I can speak to?

Filed Under   conversations   dr. mario

Article NBA Jam Rookie

December 8, 2010
  1. Rookie

    Oh wow! The NBA!

  2. Veteran

    Yup. This is the big time.

  3. Rookie

    Wow. Maybe one day I can be the new Michael Jordan.

  4. Veteran

    Who?

  5. Rookie

    Michael Jordan. Best basketball player of all time. Ring a bell?

  6. Veteran

    Never heard of him. I think you're thinking of Scottie Pippen.

  7. Rookie

    So, anything I need to know?

  8. Veteran

    Just your typical 2 on 2.

  9. Rookie

    I'm pretty sure that's not how pro basketball works.

  10. Veteran

    And how are your 30-foot high backwards dunks?

Filed Under   conversations   nba jam

Article Kratos Finds a Sidekick

December 6, 2010
  1. Kratos

    Show yourself Ares so I can tear you limb from limb!

  2. Hercules

    There you are bro. I've been looking everywhere for you.

  3. Kratos

    Who are you? Is Ares not brave enough to fight me himself?

  4. Hercules

    What? No, I'm Hercules, son of Zeus. I came to help you out.

  5. Kratos

    Leave me, I don't need help from the Gods.

  6. Hercules

    Haha right, and what about all those cool moves Poseidon, Hades, and our dad taught you? Eww, are you carrying around Medusa's head?!

Filed Under   conversations   god of war   kratos

Article Link Needs Bottles

December 1, 2010
  1. Shopkeeper

    Alright, here we go. Four bottles of potion.

  2. Link

    Awesome. Hey, uh, stupid question: do you have any more bottles?

  3. Shopkeeper

    Huh?

  4. Link

    Like empty bottles. It's just, well, I seem to really need bottles. Like, I fought a lot for these bottles. One of them was in a treasure chest, and I was ecstatic. I desperately need bottles.

  5. Shopkeeper

    Can't really help you.

  6. Link

    I dunno, I figured maybe the magic potions were the valuable stuff, and bottles were just around.

  7. Shopkeeper

    Nope. There are magic fairies everywhere. But bottles! Wow. That's crazy.

Filed Under   zelda   conversations   link

Article Assassin's Creed Citizens

November 29, 2010
  1. Guy 1

    Did you just see that?

  2. Guy 2

    What?

  3. Guy 1

    That guy. He just climbed the building over there and dived into some hay.

  4. Guy 2

    Oh, that. Not really.

  5. Guy 1

    That's crazy!

  6. Guy 2

    Sometimes I yell "he must be drunk" or something, then continue moseying along aimlessly.

  7. Guy 1

    I love moseying around aimlessly! But I think he may be an assassin.

  8. Guy 2

    What?

  9. Guy 1

    Well, he kinda hustles around the streets in a weird mask and outfit in broad daylight jumping off of buildings. And he seems to have a lot of weapons.

  10. Guy 2

    So?

Filed Under   conversations   assassin's creed

Article Resident Safety

November 24, 2010
  1. Claire

    Run Leon! The zombies are coming!

  2. Leon

    Hold up, I'm gonna take these guys out.

  3. Claire

    Can't you shoot while running? The helicopter is coming!

  4. Leon

    Run and shoot? Are you joking?! Do you know how dangerous that is?

  5. Claire

    What?

  6. Leon

    Didn't Chris teach you anything? You have to shoot with a firm base.

  7. Claire

    But… zombies…

  8. Leon

    That's no excuse for ignoring proper technique.

  9. Claire

    Whatever, give me a hand moving this roadblock.

  10. Leon

    Sorry, need both hands for shooting.

  11. Claire

    It's a handgun…

  12. Leon

    Yep, got to make sure my shots are stabilized from the recoil. Don't want one of these slugs going rogue. Someone could get seriously hurt.

Filed Under   resident evil   conversations

Article Master Chief is Useless

November 22, 2010
  1. Guy

    Sorry for the quick thaw Master Chief; things are a little hectic right now. The disorientation should pas—

  2. Sgt. Johnson

    I'll take it from here! Alright, Chief! Before we get going, I need to know which armor ability you're going to use!

  3. Master Chief

    Armor ability?

  4. Sgt. Johnson

    I recommend using sprint! We need to get to destroy the Covenant fleet quickly before they do serious damage to our ship!

  5. Master Chief

    Well actually, Sarge, I don't have sprint.

  6. Sgt. Johnson

    That's okay, evade works just as well!

  7. Master Chief

    I don't have that either.

  8. Sgt. Johnson

    Ah! So the chief is a jetpack man!

  9. Master Chief

    I'm actually terribly afraid of heights.

  10. Sgt. Johnson

    …so you use active camo?

  11. Master Chief

    Nope.

  12. Sgt. Johnson

    Hologram?

Filed Under   conversations   halo

Article Pokemon Doesn't Make Sense

November 17, 2010
  1. Ash

    Hey Pikachu, do you mind jumping in your poke-ball for a while?

  2. Pikachu

    Pika?

  3. Ash

    It's just that, well you kind of binge ate Halloween candy for the past couple weeks and gained some weight. My back can't handle it anymore.

  4. Pikachu

    P-Pika-P.

  5. Ash

    For the last time, I don't understand what you're saying. You repeat the same three syllables over and over, how am I supposed to know what you're talking about?!

  6. Pikachu

    Pika-P-Pika-chu!

  7. Ash

    What did I just say! Just get in the goddamn ball or learn how to speak English. You don't see Brock carrying Onix around in his back pocket.

  8. Brock

    Hello? Who's there?

Filed Under   conversations   pokemon