Article There's Something Seriously Wrong With Anakin Skywalker's Shadow

By Andrew Bridgman / April 22, 2014

Theres Something Seriously Wrong With Anakin Skywalkers Shadow

  1. Some Guy

    Hey, kid! HEY!

  2. Anakin

    What? What is it?

  3. Some Guy

    There is something SERIOUSLY messed up with your shadow.

  4. Anakin

    What do you OH SHIT YOU'RE RIGHT

  5. Some Guy

    Like, I know we got two suns here on Tatooine and that messes with the shadows, but yours looks like a freakin' Elmers Glue container or something.

  6. Anakin

    I was gonna say - looks sorta like a lady in a mumu with a really bad bob haircut.

  7. Some Guy

    You don't think it might have some kind of...ominous warning, do you?

  8. Anakin

    You mean a....foreshadow?

  9. (the two laugh uproariously)
  10. Some Guy

    Haha, good one. But for real - even in a galaxy filled with weird aliens and a magic Force that binds all life together, that's some fucked up shit going on there with your shadow. You probably got space cancer or something.

Article 'Batman vs. Superman' vs. 'Captain America 3'

By Andrew Bridgman / April 8, 2014

  Captain America 3 Talks To Batman vs Superman

As of right now, both Batman vs. Superman and Captain America 3 are due to be released on May 6, 2016. That's right - two of the biggest superhero movies ever, both planned for the same day. Marvel originally claimed this date for an unnamed movie - so DC planned their huge crossover film for the same day, expecting Marvel to blink. But with the success of The Winter Soldier, Marvel went ahead and announced that Captain America 3 would indeed be released then.

  1. Batman vs. Superman

    Ooo...awkward. This is our date - sorry Captain America 3.

  2. Capt. America 3

    No way, Batfleck vs. Hopeman, Marvel was savin' this spot for me.

  3. Batman vs. Superman

    Well, uh, technically they were just saving it for "Untitled Marvel Film." That doesn't really count.

  4. Capt. America 3

    Sure it does - now make way for Captain America 3: I'm a Better Superman Than Henry Cavill's City-Wrecking Saiyan

  5. Batman vs. Superman

    You're not really calling yourself that, are you?

  6. Capt. America 3

    Psh, who knows? Haven't even started writing the damn thing.

  7. Batman vs. Superman

    Yeah, that's sorta the thing - number 2 JUST came out - don't you think it's a little early to call a spot for the third one?

  8. Capt. America 3

    That's how Captain America 3 rolls, son. Pre-emptive strike up in this house!

  9. Batman vs. Superman

    But don't you know how much money you'll lose?

  10. Capt. America 3

    Are you kidding me? Have you seen the box office numbers? We got more green on us than the Hulk's dick.

Article Behind The Scenes of 'The Walking Dead' Finale

By Andrew Bridgman / March 31, 2014

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  1. Scott Gimple

    ...and at the end of the episode, Rick says "They're fucking with the wrong people." Sound good, everyone?

  2. Another Writer

    Ooooooo....gonnnnnna have to disagree with ya there, Scott.

  3. Scott Gimple

    Which part?

  4. Another Writer

     Using the "F" word. Little too risque, I think.

Filed Under   conversations   the walking dead

Article The Conversation That Created The (Rebooted) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

By Andrew Bridgman / March 28, 2014

 

"Heroes are not born - they're created."

-William Fichtner (the guy from Prison Break)

 

  1. Scientist

    Uh, sir?

  2. William Fichtner (from Prison Break)

    Johnson, stop asking questions - get back to making those heroes!

  3. Scientist

    Yeah, about that...you SURE these are the heroes you wanna create?

  4. William Fichtner (from Prison Break)

    Uh, YEAH. Crime is running rampant and Megan Fox is the city's top journalist. Things are bad and we need laboratory-created heroes ASAP.

  5. Scientist

    Well, if we're MAKING heroes, couldn't we make...something else? Like, pretty much anything else other than THIS.

 

tmnt

Article Why the Nipple-Suits in 'Batman & Robin' Were Actually Brilliant

By Andrew Bridgman / March 25, 2014

   The True Reason For the NippleSuits in Batman Robin

  1. Bruce

    Yo, Alfred! Check out the redesigned suit!

  2. [Bruce shows off his new Batsuit]
  3. Alfred

    Oh. Ohhhhhh my.

  4. Bruce

    Yeah, ya like it?

  5. Alfred

    Uh. Well....it's definitely, uh, interesting.

  6. Bruce

    Hey Alfred - eyes up here.

  7. Alfred

    Sorry sir - it's just...your nipples.

  8. Bruce

    My BAT-nipples?

  9. Alfred

    Yes, Master Wayne. Your Bat-nipples.

  10. Bruce

    You're wondering about the 'em, aren't you?

  11. Alfred

    I'm afraid so, Master Wayne.

  12. Bruce

    As in, why I would bother putting Bat-nipples on my Batsuit?

  13. Alfred

    Indeed. I just don't underst-

  14. Bruce

    Yo, Alfred, what'd I say? Eyes up here.

  15. Alfred

    Sorry again, sir, you're just blasting those Bat-nips pretty hard. It's difficult to not look at them.

  16. Bruce

    Precisely.

Article The Conversation That Takes Place After Every Marvel Movie

By Andrew Bridgman / March 22, 2014

   The Conversation That Takes Place After Every Marvel Movie

 

  1. You

    Oh man. OH MAN, that was great.

  2. Significant Other

    Yeah, that was pretty good. Anyways, let's go, I gotta go pee -

  3. You

    SHHHHH - SIT DOWN.

  4. S.O.

    Oh right - the post-credits scene.

  5. [baffling and context-free post-credits scene plays]
  6. S.O.

    Wait - huh? What was that? Was that Benicio del Toro in a wig in a swamp science lab?

  7. You

    THAAAAT WAS AMAAAAAAAZING!

  8. S.O.

    Okay. Well, that was something. Anyways, can we go now? I gotta go to the bathroo-

  9. You

    SHHHHH - SIT DOWN.

  10. S.O.

    But...but we saw the post-credits scene. We're not gonna sit through the crazy-long credits too, are we? Are you saying there's a POST-post-credits scene?

  11. [You nod furiously]
  12. S.O.

    Ugggggggggggggh...

  

Filed Under   marvel   conversations

Article How Space Jam 2 Was Pitched

By Andrew Bridgman / February 22, 2014

  How Space Jam 2 Was Pitched

  1. Executive #1

    Dammit! We need a new hit blockbuster right away! Get me the greatest development guy in the business!

  2. Executive #2

    Uh, okay, but who exactly is tha-

  3. (11 Year Old Me enters, looking cool as hell with his frosted tips and his AND1 t-shirt)
  4. Executive #1

    11 Year Old Andrew! What movie should we make?

  5. 11 Year Old Me

    THERE SHOULD TOTALLY BE A SEQUEL TO SPACE JAM!

  6. (11 Year Old Me throws down his best Pog slammer in celebration)

Filed Under   conversations   space jam   space jam 2

Article How Mountain Dew Cheetos Became a Reality

By Andrew Bridgman / January 6, 2014

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Mountain Dew Cheetos is a thing. No, this is not a joke: MOUNTAIN DEW CHEETOS IS NOW OFFICIALLY A THING. How did it come to this, you ask? We've got the transcript right here...

 

  1. Executive 1

    You know what? Fuck it. Mountain Dew Cheetos. BOOM.

  2. Executive 2

    Ha ha, very funny, Jerry. Now back to business -

  3. Executive 1

    No, I'm dead serious. Mountain Dew Cheetos. Cheetos that taste like that radioactive-green, vaguely-citrus slime.

  4. Executive 2

    That's insane, Jerry. We're trying to sell food to people products, not parody them.

  5. Executive 1

    I'm sick of it. Why are we beating around the bush here? These people want powder-y, sodium-packed snacks and a soda that's too fucking lazy to spell "Mountain." Let's save everyone a step and just mash 'em together.

  6. Executive 2

    That's going too far, Jerry. I didn't say anything when we made those Doritos tacos, but I gotta put my foot down here. I mean, what would it even taste like?

  7. Executive 1

    I'll tell you what it'll taste like...

 

Filed Under   conversations   mountain dew   cheetos

Article Johnny Cage Doesn't Belong

By Lev Novak / November 2, 2011
  1. Raiden

    Welcome to the deadliest fighting tournament in the world. Or the outer world. We, the good guys, have to fight the bad guys. And then we have to fight each other.

  2. Liu Kang

    Why do we have to do that?

  3. Raiden

    Shut up, that's why. It's deadly and everyone has tons of super-powers.

  4. Johnny Cage

    Woo!

  5. Raiden

    Oh, it's popular movie star Johnny Cage, here to wish us luck.

  6. Liu Kang

    I loved you in National Treasure!

  7. Johnny Cage

    Nope. I'm here to fight!

  8. Raiden

    …what?

Filed Under   mortal kombat   conversations

Article Ain't No Party Like a Mario Party

By Lev Novak / October 26, 2011
  1. Mario

    Hey guys! Party time, am I right?

  2. Luigi

    Yeah…uh, hey dude?

  3. Mario

    Shoot.

  4. Luigi

    Why did you invite Boo and Wario?

  5. Mario

    It ain't a party unless our enemies are here, for some reason.

  6. Luigi

    Yeah, but Boo? You know ever since the haunted-

  7. Mario

    Let it go, bro. Just…just let it go.

  8. Wario

    Hey dude, where are the chicks?

  9. Mario

    I'm sorry Wario, but the babes are at another party. The only girls we brought for the entire party are our girlfriends. If that doesn't say "party" than I don't know what does. And speaking of that-

Filed Under   conversations   mario   mario party