Filed Under » conversations

Welcome to the deadliest fighting tournament in the world. Or the outer world. We, the good guys, have to fight the bad guys. And then we have to fight each other.

Why do we have to do that?

Shut up, that’s why. It’s deadly and everyone has tons of super-powers.

Woo!

Oh, it’s popular movie star Johnny Cage, here to wish us luck.

I loved you in National Treasure!

Nope. I’m here to fight!

…what?

Hey guys! Party time, am I right?

Yeah…uh, hey dude?

Shoot.

Why did you invite Boo and Wario?

It ain’t a party unless our enemies are here, for some reason.

Yeah, but Boo? You know ever since the haunted-

Let it go, bro. Just…just let it go.

Hey dude, where are the chicks?

I’m sorry Wario, but the babes are at another party. The only girls we brought for the entire party are our girlfriends. If that doesn’t say “party” than I don’t know what does. And speaking of that-

…Yeah, so basically the best. The very best. The best there ever was.

Uh huh…

What’s wrong? Hey, did I mention I’m a Poke’master?

Yeah, it’s come up…

I don’t get it. You should be falling all over me.

So, how long did it take for you to become a Poke’master?

Probably like 35 hours.

Prepare for trouble!

And make it double!

Wait a second guys, can I ask you something?

Um, okay.

How are you two still alive?

What do you mean?

Hey, I need to get to Union and Packard.

Where is that? Oh wait, the giant blinking green square-thing? No problem.

What? No, nothing is blinking. Are you okay?

Yup, the good old ‘giant blinking square’. I’ll just follow this giant green arrow hovering in the air as fast as possible.

What?

Okay Ash. This is it. I’m finally going to defeat you in a pokemon battle!

I doubt it.

No, seriously. I’ve been training each pokemon in my line-up tirelessly, night and day just for this.

You wasted your time.

I don’t think so! I finally have the perfect line-up!

Let’s do it then.

Okay. Go Squirtle!

Go Charizard!

Whoa, whoa wait a second… how the hell do you already have a Charizard?

Uh, hey guys? Who was that?

You mean that guy in the suit who just rampaged through our entire security force?

Yeah, him.

I don’t know, but that was crazy.

Yeah he really shot up the place. It was like he literally had every gun known to man.

Did you guys see him pull that rocket launcher out of thin air?

Where was he keeping it?

Hey! You! I challenge you to a pokemon battle!

Ugh, really? Again?

I choose you, Oddish!

Alright fine. Go Charizard.

Um, holy sh*t is that a dragon?

It’s a Charizard.

That looks like a f**king dragon.

Hi Mayor, you wanted to see me?

Yes Link. I wanted to thank you for all your work by giving you the key to the city!

Oh, thank you! But it won’t be necessary. I can turn into a wolf and just, you know, dig into places.

I…see. Well, please accept these rupees!

No, that’s fine. I just break things for money.

…So I told her, “get over here!”

Classic Scorpion…did she get over there?

No…

Maybe you should stop yelling it like a murderer.

Scorpion! I have come to slay you!

Impossible! I have already slain you!

…Don’t you guys, like, kill each other all the time?