Article The Depressing Inner Monologues of Mario Enemies

By Andrew Bridgman / November 19, 2013

The Inner Monologues of Mario Enemies 

 

The Inner Monologues of Mario Enemies

My entire existence is predicated upon the fact that I will one day explode. It is the reason I was created, and the reason I live - so that I will die, hopefully taking another's life with me. Unlike others, my being is made for killing, not living. I am nothing but a weapon - and not even a decent weapon, rarely able to do more than shrink my opponent. If I were to take my own life, I would be doing the world a great favor - for no one else would need to fear harm due to my presence.



The Inner Monologues of Mario Enemies

Not all who rest on clouds live in Heaven - I am a shining testament to this. As others shuffle below me, bound to the Earth, I fly above them in the skies - hurling my children to the ground which I so fear. Hurling my innocent, confused children towards an enemy who has given me no reason to hate him so. Watching in horror as my precious offspring walk into pits, as they have no reason to understand the dangers of the ground that they have found themselves upon. I am more executioner than father.

Filed Under   birdo   mario   lakitu   bob-omb   bullet bill   thwomp   dry bones

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Filed Under   yoshi   birdo   virtual shackles
WTF Birdo

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December 09, 2010

Yoshi is a lucky man.

Filed Under   birdo   wtf
Dorkly Bits: Yoshi Loves Birdo

original Dorkly Bits: Yoshi Loves Birdo

November 05, 2010

Love is gross.

Birdo Tattoo?  Yeah, A Birdo Tattoo

Picture Birdo Tattoo? Yeah, A Birdo Tattoo

May 12, 2010

Woah woah woah, Birdo's from Mario 2 and Raccoon Mario is from Mario 3. You should get your money back.

Filed Under   birdo