Old-Old-Old School Gaming Achievements

Picture Old-Old-Old School Gaming Achievements

January 22, 2014

Back in the day, you had to wear your trophies on your jean jacket.

Article The 5 Worst Types of Achievements and Trophies

By Miklós Takács / December 5, 2013

The 5 Worst Types of Achievements and Trophies

With the Playstation Vita and the newly released Playstation 4 and Xbox One, it's safe to say that achievements and trophies are not going anywhere. And why should they? It feels good to hear that beep, see the little image and read the descriptions. A number of them take significant effort and skill, and when we finally succeed we feel rewarded, even though the reward has no real value. Unfortunately, that usually isn't the case.


1. Moving forward in the story

What you think they mean: 'You're making nice progress with the story mode. Keep up the good work!'

What they actually mean: 'Gee, thanks for actually playing the f*cking game you bought.'

How entitled can we be as gamers? Not only do we spend valuable time pressing buttons on a piece of plastic in front of the TV to make E. Honda fly across the screen instead of learning languages, developing skills and interacting with other people, now we want to be rewarded for it. Story related A/Ts are not about doing something really impressive in the game, it's really just playing it from start to finish. This should be a given. You bought the game to play it. It's not you doing something extra, like beating the game on the hardest difficulty setting. You're just doing exactly what is expected of you.

  The 5 Worst Types of Achievements and Trophies

'You managed to not die. You're AWESOME!'

Filed Under   achievements   trophies

Article Valentine's Day Achievements

By Andrew Bridgman / February 15, 2013

Valentines Day Achievements - Image 31

Filed Under   achievements   love   valentine's day   valentines

Comic A Lifetime of Achievements

By Julia Lepetit / January 15, 2013

A Lifetime of Achievements - Image 1

Filed Under   gamers   achievements
Real Life Achievements

Video Real Life Achievements

December 06, 2012

If you don't put your Gamerscore on your résumé, you're a chump.

Filed Under   irl   achievements

Article Secret Xbox Live Achievements Everyone Has

By Andrew Bridgman / November 29, 2012

Secret Xbox Live Achievements Everyone Has - Image 1

Secret Xbox Live Achievements Everyone Has - Image 1
Filed Under   xbox live   xbox   achievements
Wedding XBOX Achievement

Picture Wedding XBOX Achievement

October 16, 2012

Once he gets the Divorce and Move Back In With His Parents achievements, he can finally die a happy man.

XBOX Achievement Wedding Cake

Picture XBOX Achievement Wedding Cake

July 13, 2012

Now all you need to get are "CHILDREN" and "BITTER DIVORCE."

Filed Under   wedding   cake   xbox   achievements

Article The Dorklyst: The 10 Most Frustrating Achievements in Xbox Live History

March 24, 2011

Remember the good ol' days, when you could just beat a game, pop open a celebratory 2-liter of Mountain Dew, and then move on with your life? Those days went away the instant that Achievements were introduced. Now we live in a world where your work on a game is done only when you've beaten each level perfectly 10 times and played for a month straight – and that's the easy ones. Some games include achievements that seem like jokes – surely the developers never thought anyone would actually waste enough time to complete them. But gamers never walk away from a challenge. They do, however, bitch about them on the internet. Here are the 10 most frustrating achievements in Xbox Live history.

10) Aperture Science (Portal) – Earn gold medals on all Portal challenges (40G)

While Portal got a lot of praise when it came out for its unique, hilarious, and fun style of gameplay, no one really mentioned how this achievement would take all that goodness and twist it around to sinister ends. A few of the challenges could be entertaining if only to screw around with the game's great mechanics, but some other ones (Least Steps, go walk off a cliff in 10 steps or less, please) were brutally difficult and frustrating. The only thing that could comfort you after a few hours of these challenges would be a nice big slice of cake, and …wait – WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

9) Vesperia Master (Tales of Vesperia) – Aim for total completion (0G)

Okay – this is just plain insulting. Getting all of the achievements in Tales of Vesperia is no easy task (Secret Mission 17, Item Nerd, etc.), but then to offer you absolutely ZERO gamer points for it? Fine, if that's your attitude, maybe we'll just play and enjoy the game without considering arbitrary points and achievements. No! I didn't mean it! Come on, daddy needs that shiny new gamerscore!

Filed Under   xbox   achievements   the dorklyst