Congratulations! We are pleased to inform you that your application for attendance in the Anime School District has been accepted. Before you make your selection, please note that individual schools may have wildly different graduation and/or mortality rates. To help you make your decision, we have organized a shortlist of institutions, arranged by the survival ratios of their student body (highest to lowest).
Whether you're a blazing fast over-achiever or a horrible grape baby pervert, the brightest up-and-coming superheroes all go to U.A. High. Students learn from the best in the field, and sometimes this can mean pushing their bodies to the limits. U.A. High in particular has suffered numerous and consistent attacks from villains who want nothing but to kidnap, brainwash and/or murder children. In U.A.'s defense, usually these incidents end with the teenagers sustaining minor injuries but otherwise returning to the status quo and resuming their studies.
You would think that an academy founded by Death and dedicated to teaching the young how to take souls would be hazardous, but it's not all that bad. At least, for the students. If you're one of the bad guys on their list, things probably aren't going to work out. But as long as you're the one crafting death scythes for the DWMA (and you're not say, the spawn of Medusa spying on classmates), you'll be just fine.
Okay so yes, the teacher at KJH's class E-3 is technically an unkillable octopus monster that destroyed half the moon to make a point. But really, once you get past Koro-Sensei's promise to destroy the world unless a student manages to kill him, you'll find a friendly and nurturing learning environment. Really, the only scenario in which the planet gets blown up relies on the kids not coming together in a crisis and then proceeding to not recognize the power of friendship. But when has that ever happened in a school anime?
Imagine yourself in the far future, when mankind has escaped to offworld colonies and chill forever as immortals. Now imagine those sterile Highlanders use children as soldiers to fight gigantic monsters. That's where you come in! Students of the Garden team-up with members of the opposite sex to pilot mechas and defend Earth while juggling typical teenage anxiety. Don't worry that all the kids are referred to as "parasites" -- it's just to make it clear that all children are disposable. The post-apocalypse might have a lot of downsides, but at least there's transparency.
Here's where things really start ramping up. To get by in Honnouji Academy, you have to wear a superpowered set of clothes, and most of those are held by the assholes of the local student council. On top of that, there are paramilitary factions and a girl on the hunt for revenge to contend with. You're more than welcome to enroll, but just keep in mind that the school might shut down at any moment due to the city breaking up and sinking into the sea.
This was supposed to be a surprise. Every other student who attends Hope's Peak High School was told that they were the lucky winners of a national lottery. But fine, okay, it's technically a death trap in which the only means of escape is killing another student without getting caught. Oh, and also every time someone gets killed there's a trial. Oh, and if the wrong verdict is reached, everyone gets murdered except for the actual culprit, who gets to walk free. Other than that, the Hope's Peak is very prestigious.
Nobody will tell you this up front because no one can remember, but Yomiyama North Middle School is actually very cursed! Following mysterious deaths decades ago, the campus and the surrounding area are now home to a series of horrific and increasingly ridiculous "accidents" and "murders." It's sort of like Final Destination, except there's the fun added bonus of a bloodthirsty witch hunt to find and kill the student who is technically dead and therefore causing the curse. So you've got that going for you.
It's a zombie apocalypse. It's anime. If you're not a bizarrely buxom lady with a lot of firepower, you don't have much of a chance.
Titans are sort of like zombies, except for they're several stories tall, they're naked and they won't stop smiling at you. If you're part of the squad of children being trained to defeat these monstrosities (and you don't have Mikasa looking after you), there's not a great chance you won't end up slowly digesting in the bloody pit of a Titan's stomach. The worst part? The training corps is really stingy with the potato rations.
"Party" in this context is a little misleading. What takes place in the ghost school that is Heavenly Host is more of along the lines of a carnival of blood and torture. If you are unlucky enough to find yourself on the haunted grounds, you're probably already dead -- literally. Tons of kids were killed in and around the school in the 1970s, which proves that attending Heavenly Host isn't great for your health. Even after the school was demolished, students have been known to be sucked into the spiritual plane and picked apart within its spectral walls. It's either die in agony at the hands of a malevolent spirit, or spend your days hugging a straitjacket at the asylum after everything you've seen. Multiple choice tests have never been this hard.