The internet provides us with no shortage of opprtunities to make new experiences with strangers over headsets. Redditors plunged back into their memory banks to find more harrowing and hilarious experiences like these for us to laugh at and maybe even dread whenever we get the courage to plug our headsets back in. 


1. 50 Shades Of Theft sounds like a bonus mission tbh i_met_geoff

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Had some guy just start reading 50 shades of grey on GTA V, the whole chat went silent as we all listened only to erupt into laughter as the guy reading finally lost his composure.


2. Ribs don't grow back, and neither do friendships, apparently Null_Reference_ 

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                                                                                                                                                                                       Team Fortress 2/Valve

In TF2 there was a guy with no mic who decided to be my pocket medic (which means a medic that runs off with me instead of staying with the primary group of teammates).

But he took this to absurd lengths. He would never heal anyone but me. An ally scout that was currently on fire came running up to get healed/saved and the medic just watched him die.

Then every time he ubered me (made me invincible for ten seconds) he'd blast Flight of the Valkyries over chat. And it was an all chat server so the enemy team could hear it too.

Sometimes he'd turn it on even when he didn't have a uber-charge ready and people would start retreating thinking he was about to uber me.

This went on for like an hour. He healed no one else, said nothing, typed nothing, and ubered me dozens of times. Then he left, and gifted me vintage hat that was worth like ten bucks, and then didn't accept my friend request.


3. FOR ALL THE PIANO MEN AROUND THE WORLD ADirtySock

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                                                                                                                            Mount & Blade: Napoleonic Wars/Paradox Interactive

I was playing a game of Mount & Blade: Napoleonic Wars (bear in mind each game has 250 players). My team was defending a large house surrounded by walls. A unique thing about the game is that you can chose to play bagpipers and various other characters with musical instruments.

So I was running around the house and I saw a piano, so I went over and started picking tunes to play on it. A few seconds later a squad of musicians come running down the stairs and just start playing with me. Eventually almost the entire team was down there dancing by toggling crouch. Out of nowhere a cannon ball came flying through the wall and the piano and killed me.

Then all of a sudden on chat someone typed:

They killed the piano man

and a few moments later someone else typed

FORWARD, FOR THE PIANO MAN

and then charged out of the newly formed hole in the wall and the entire team followed shouting the same into chat.

It was hilarious and bewildering at the same time.


4. Underrated feature!! FuckUpFreddie

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                                                                                                                                                                                           Splinter Cell/Ubisoft

Would play Splinter Cell multiplayer way back...one of the many neat features of that game was cross teams coms would only work when the spy had the Merc in a choke hold, you could essentially whisper something into your enemies ear before you choked them out or snapped neck finish them. One occasion I was playing as a Merc and got caught up by a spy and over my earpiece I heard "Taste the rainbow bitch" and he snapped my neck. I laughed so hard.


5. Turns out that the best weapon is laughter Malue

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In the game Elite: Dangerous I was flying around in a more populated area when I got interdicted by a wing of Orcas (very large fast ship, great for ramming other ships..). One of the players rings my ship for voice coms and I accept, hoping to talk my way out of a hostile situation. Nope, he blasts circus music and they all start flying at me at insane speeds. I didn't get away, but I laughed in the end.


6. This is both very noble and very dickish at the same time ZeroGfiddy

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                                                                                                                                                                              Dark Souls/Namco Bandai

I was helping people defeat a particular boss in Dark Souls (Seath the Scaleless). There was this one guy that I had been connecting to all night amidst the other people. After maybe 3 hours of helping people, I had connected to his world like 10 times, and still no luck!

After awhile, I decided to switch it up and start invading. Well, I ended up in his world again, as an invader this time, instead of an ally! I was so emotionally torn, you can't communicate directly in Dark Souls multiplayer, but you can use some basic gestures. We had shared all sorts of funny moments together, and sort of became wordless friends over the course of the evening! So now, unsure of what to do, I just unequipped all of my weapons and turned my back to him to show vulnerability and trust. And well, he did the same in response! After a little dancing, we headed in to the dungeon. As an invader, I couldn't hurt any of the enemies, but I just went up and swung my sword at them anyways. I just kind of pretended to be his ally, and we made it to the boss door again together. Once we were there, we both stood still for awhile. We spun around a bit, unsure of how to proceed. I went up to him, dropped 5 humanity items(it's a useful item in the game, not super rare, but convenient to get for free) waved at him, and ran off a cliff, leaving him free to fight the boss.

I never connected to his world again, so as far as I can tell, he was able to do it alone after all, with a little encouragement along the way.


7. THIS. IS. WEIRD! jollquist

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                                                                                                                                                   Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2/Activision

Modern Warfare 2. I've posted about this before on a different thread. I forget the name of the map, but it was the big grass one with the radioactive perimeter and the cave/bunker in the middle. (I've been told its Wasteland) My friends and I would all equip riot shields and move around like Spartans in the Phalanx formation. Without talking to the other team or communicating with them in any way, they also started moving in the Phalanx formation, and eventually it evolved into a riot shield fight club inside the bunker. 2 guys would go into the middle and start ramming each other with their shields while the rest of us were standing around them in a circle, jumping. It was one of the funniest and strangest things I have ever seen. The fact that there is another group of friends out there as weird as mine, and we ran into them was very surprising.


8. Gonna get that mofo paper FullMetalBAMF

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Traveling with a friend on day z. We're playing on a semi-rp server, so KOS generally doesn't happen and you're supposed to try and interact with each other. Ya know, talk things out.

Well, we noticed that someone was following us as we looted around town. We had a car fixed up, so we decide to get the hell out of there just in case. We don't shoot him on sight because of the server rules.

About an hour later, we're basically on the other side of the map looting up the myshkino military base. We often check our car, make sure nobody is messing with it. Sure enough, that SAME guy is there again, and he's messing with our cars inventory. We fire a few warning shots and he takes off into the woods, my friend is shouting over the mic that he's gonna "get that mofo". He's chasing him into the woods, but i stop to check our car, see what he took, ya'know?

I burst out laughing. Me: "Dude, let him go. He didn't take anything" Friend:"What? Why was he messing with the car!?" Me: "Bro, he filled our entire car with pieces of paper. There's like 60 pieces of paper in here. And they all say "paper paper paper paper paper" in red ink. Literally every single one had been wrote on.

                                                                          


9. This took a turn hahaha TheMightyRoy

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Back in the day I was on a random minecraft server and I'd left my base to go mining. When I got back I saw someone inside and asked in the chat why he was in there. He asked for my Skype name and then called me.

What happened next was a hostage situation. He'd rigged my house with TNT and said if I didn't give him all my valuables he'd blow the house up (server had locked chests but not any anti griefing systems). To prove he was serious he took my dog to the window and killed him.

A few of the mods from the server were online and nearby, so came over and asked if they wanted me to kick and ban him. I thought it was quite funny so let it play out, and tried to talk. That lasted a second before he blew the place up.

Happy ending though, they banned him then helped me build a new house.

RIP Cecil though.


10. The long and hazy con Potagonhd

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                                                                                                                                                                           Grand Theft Auto V/Rockstar

I was playing GTA Online a few months ago when a group of 4 guys in stealth military gear pulled up to me in their armored car. They all got out and pointed their guns at me, telling me to get in. Me, being a quite passive player decided to go with the roleplay and get in.
We drove for about 10 minutes while they squabbled with eachother about what to do with me until we reached this abandoned lumber yard deep in the woods. There, they escorted me inside where I was forced to stay in the corner. Two of them went outside to meet with another guy (My buyer I assume?).
I decided that this might be the time to leave so I came up with an interesting way to escape. I put a bounty on their heads, called muggers to come rob them, called in a private militia to distract them, and I called Lester (hackerman) to hide my marker on the map.
Once they all arrived to fight my captors, a firefight ensued. I jumped through a window and ran away into the woods for a minute or two when I came across a railway. I could hear them in the distance realising that I was gone and they ran after me since my marker had reappeared by now. Deus Ex Machina kicked in and the train arrived just before they got the killing shot on me, so I hopped into the train and zipped away.
They got into their armored car and followed me while I tried to shoot out their tires, they had just about caught up with me when another player on the server arrived to come help me in his attack chopper. My new friend killed the captors, picked me up, and flew me back to the city where I hid in his company headquarters. We smoked some weed and drank some whiskey while half the server waited patiently outside the building for me to come outside.


11. Now you're thinking with ships kazosk

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                                                                                                                                                                          EvE Online/Simon & Schuster

EvE is plenty weird so mine is sort of mundane but whatever.

As a brief primer on EvE, in 'normal' space, there is this thing called 'local' which is the chat window for the system. It lists all players currently in the system. So you always know if there's someone there. Then there's 'Wormhole' space. There is no local; you only appear there once you enter a message into the chat window. You could be surrounded by 20 players ready to murder you and you wouldn't know till you went pop. There is a thing called 'Dscan' though that reveals most ships in the local area around you (which is to say around 14.3 AU)

Part of the culture of Wormhole space then is that you don't talk in local. Ever. Not for any reason.

This lead to an odd situation once upon a time when I was running around in Wormhole space. I had named my ship 'PLEASE DON'T SHOOT' or something similar. I hit my Dscan and discovered a ship called 'Oh yes I will'. In jest, I renamed my ship to 'Please no'. On my next Dscan hit, the ship had changed to 'Coming to kill you'

I then proceeded to have a conversation for a few minutes purely by constantly changing the name of my ship and never once using the chat function provided in game.


12. In other words, a normal night on XBOX Live MaverickF14

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                                                                                                                                                                                                   XBOX/Microsoft

Years ago, I listened to two brothers living in the same house who were on separate Xbox's argue with each other in an Xbox Live Party. They were both members of a large clan I was in.

Well, it got so heated brother #1 ran over two brother #2 and they started physically fighting and we can hear it since neither of them took their mics off and for whatever reason they didn't fall off or get unplugged. Brother #2 started crying hysterically. We then hear their parents screaming at them and we can hear brother #1 try to justify his actions, and brother #2 claim that he was unfairly hit in the face multiple times.

We couldn't hear the parents specific words, but we could tell they were PISSED. Eventually both brothers are saying "NO!" and "PLEASE NO!" and "MOM! OH MY GOD! NO!"

After that, both mics go silent, one after the other (the party screen showed the mics weren't plugged in anymore), and neither brother does anything for about 10 minutes. After, they go offline and we never saw them come online again.

Oh, and both brothers sounded like they were about 14-16 years old.