1. An MMO troll gets a choice: Get banned, or pen a 500-word essay

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When millions of people across the world gather in one place, you're bound to see some of the worst humanity has to offer. MMO moderators have the unenviable task of weeding out the griefers and cheaters who want to waste everyone else's precious free time. By the nature of their job, the majority of people mods interact with will be no good scumbags. It's tough to blame someone in that position for wanting to go the extra mile to stick it to their tormentors. 

Such was likely the logic for Gamemaster Rhotaaz, who found a fun new way to deal with a dickbag who was trolling Black Desert Online players whose only crime was taking roleplay seriously. Kimochi had been ruthlessly murdering said RPers for some time before Rhotaaz seized him and gave the troll an ultimatum:

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In so many flowery in-character words, the mod offered Kimochi's account a stay of execution, provided that the troll supply a 501-word essay detailing the backstory of his in-game avatar. You can see where the mod was coming from here. Maybe if Kimochi was forced to connect with his character and give them a history, he might begin to see the value in what the roleplayers were doing -- and more importantly, stop being such a dick to them. 

And it worked! Sort of. As chronicled on Reddit, Kimochi did in fact sit down and write out a 501-word backstory for his character. Unfortunately, the mod in question neglected to establish firm boundaries for written piece, so the end product was just a tad salacious. Okay, it was extremely horny.

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The troll may have outwitted the mod to a degree, but in general a life-or-death homework assignment seems like a great way to punish someone who's being childish on the internet.

2. Twitch troll makes $50,000 in fake donations, plan immediately backfires

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YouTube might still be king when it comes to video content platforms, but between frustrating demonitization and baffling takedowns, the service isn't great at supporting its creative community. Twitch isn't perfect either, but it is a little better on in some areas regarding financial support, since it allows viewers to directly contribute to their favorite streamers on-air. One of the best things about Twitch is watching the gut emotional reaction of a streamer receiving a large, sometimes life-altering donation from a generous benefactor. And one of the worst things about Twitch are donation trolls. 

See, donation trolls are little pricks who drop massive amounts of cash on streamers, watch them react, then cancel the payment later. Streamers who have already spent some of the money by that point are stuck with overdraft fees and an overwhelming sense that all humans suck shit. It's generally a bad time all around -- unless the trolls get caught. 

In 2016, a user named iNexus_Ninja made a series of donations to various streamers, totaling about $50,000. And yeah, you guessed it, iNexus_Ninja later canceled the transactions. Or at least, he would have, if PayPal hadn't denied his refunds. What were once his fake prank donations became all too real. The troll, discovered to be an 18 year-old kid from Australia, had racked up the charges on his parents' credit card. Presumably once mom and/or dad found out that they were stuck with the bill, a reckoning was had. Then again, anyone who can run up a charge like that without immediately raising eyebrows/running into spending limits probably has a better life than we do. As usual, the trolls get the last laugh. 


3. GTA V griefers get their money drained by a $1 million car

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It's hard to deal with assholes in Grand Theft Auto V's online mode. After all, the series has always made assholery a virtue -- why should multiplayer be any different?

One clever player came up with a brilliant plan to turn the tables on one of gaming's most destructive communities. Over on Twitter, Aaron Reynolds told his hilarious tale of how he used an expensive car to remind trolls what salt tastes like. It all revolves around the insurance system. If you have your vehicle insured in GTA V and someone destroys it, the destructor pays a little over 1% of the totaled vehicle's value. That's not a big deal to the trolls if you're rolling around in a stock Albany Emperor, but Reynolds went out of his way to make his ride as pricey as possible.

With a million in-game dollars put into his car, Reynolds just rolled right up to a troll that was demolishing player cars and just waited to be obliterated. It went even better than expected.

Eventually the dickheads caught onto Reynolds' game, but he wasn't done yet. He had a few more ideas to throw off their game. 

You can read the rest of Reynolds' story over here.

4. A Guild Wars 2 troll was stripped naked in the town square and banned in front of everyone

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Most of the time, we only have the tales and stories of online miscreants finally getting their due. We gather whispers through Discord, a smattering of in-game chatter and if we're lucky, a juicy forum post or two. But the case of J T Darkside is a little different. In the case of J T Darkside, we have a video of a troll execution. 

The Guild Wars 2 player had been reportedly causing trouble for days on end before afflicted users finally had enough. After proof of J T Darkside's misdeeds was posted to the official GW2 forums, a mod stepped in and assured everyone that the perpetrator had been banned. What's more, they offered up a video of J T Darkside's character stripping naked in the town square and jumping to his death. 

Following that, the video also shows the user deleting all of J T Darkside's characters. 

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Not only does the video feel great to watch, it has also hopefully served as a message to future would-be cheaters: Don't be a dick, or you'll be humiliated and wiped from existence. 

5. Overwatch's director exposes toxic players

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As director for one of Blizzard's most popular games, Jeff Kaplan has had plenty of occasions to engage with and generally mess with Overwatch fans. But when he's not laying out new Mercy nerfs or sitting in front of a fireplace for an hourlong Twitch stream, Kaplan also makes sure to chime in on the official Overwatch forums. Sometimes you get an honest reflection on the reaction to a tweaked character or feature. And sometimes Papa Jeff has to lay the hammer down.

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Kaplan actually apologized for this specific clapback, explaining that he was feeling a little weary at the time. While SharkyMarky definitely deserved to get roasted for a drive-by shitpost, if that roast comes from the director of the game it's bound to get the user way more negative attention from other users.

From then on, Kaplan seems to use his troll-destroying abilities in specific circumstances. Say, if a serial harasser started complaining about getting banned. 

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Some kids never learn. If you are guilty of being a piece of shit online, do not complain in the Overwatch forums because you were banned for being a piece of shit online. Jeff Kaplan has the receipts, and he will make sure the bill will come due, especially for the most egregious trolls

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Note that Kaplan doesn't use personal attacks or insults here. All he does is lay out cold, hard facts in sequence, and it is absolutely devastating. Trolls and griefers may still run rampant in Overwatch, but at least on this day, there was justice.