Gaming online is a minefield of shit talking. Plenty of people don't even bother using headsets because they're afraid of being yelled at for not using McCree properly in competitive play Overwatch. As annoying as elitists and racists on the internet can be, hearing people living their lives through a headset can be another kind of experience altogether, especially where Redditors like these are concerned.
1. DoW is not the place for divorce court, DuncanMonroe.
Was playing dawn of war on teamspeak and this guy got in a loud, heated argument accusing his wife of having an affair because she walked in the door at like midnight. We were going to kick him from the channel but it got really juicy. Then it got scary. Then it got sad. I think he was playing to distract himself.
2. This is a special bond. Never forget this moment, MeebieBlob.
Several years ago I was doing a 40 person raid in WoW - many people in the guild were from CA, at the time I lived in Oakland. We hear one guy around Napa call out, "Whoa!" then a few seconds later I feel a pretty substantial earthquake and announce it over Vent. A few seconds a couple people around San Jose chime in their surprise too. It was pretty cool to hear how the quake rippled south in real time.
3. This is...something, BenDiesel87.
Some friends and I were playing Call of Duty. We were talking about it and a black guy on our team thought we were making it up. When we finally convinced him he was quiet for a few seconds then, in a very distraught tone, said "man, I gotta call my mama" and left the game.
4. CLEARLY IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT FOR NOT KNOWING DOSTOEVSKY, Lazek.
There was a guy who got on the microphone while his friend was playing and told us "Okay time to get some culture you illiterate shits" and then proceeded to start reading The Brothers Karamazov out loud.
5. Call the police maurabellum
Older lady told me I had a sexy voice and wanted me to recite the alphabet slowly.
6. Probably fell asleep from how boring flight sims are, Hoosagoodboy.
I was on a co-op mission on a WW2 flight sim, there was around 16 of us playing and one guy was pretty wasted. We were cruising along on the way to the target area when suddenly we started hearing snoring, loud snoring...
Some guys started yelling WAKE UP but to no avail, and shortly after we hear a loud crashing and rattling over comms, followed by a "Aww fuck, sonovabitch, I'm fucking bleeding!" Guy passed out and smashed his head on the floor. Couldn't finish the mission cause we all were laughing so hard.
7. *legendary loot falls from the sky after discovering the power of teamwork* AmbienDreams
Playing with a PUG in Destiny, we had just finished a raid and we were taking a 15 minute smoke break before jumping into the next one. It was winter and one of the guys had stepped outside for a quick smoke and still had his headset on. A few minutes into the break we hear an "Oh shit...." then the sound of someone banging on doors and windows as he tried to get back inside his house. Apparently he has locked himself out and didn't have a way back in. Realizing he still had his headset he put the earphones back on and was like "Guys, I need help. I'm locked out of my house without a jacket, and I don't have my phone."
I asked if there was anyone that I could call, dude couldn't recall his mother/dad/sister/ etc phone numbers off the top of his head. I asked where he lived and started to pull up the non emergency police contact for his area. Then he had a bright idea.
"Dude, call the Arby's in State X, Town Y off Z road and ask for Sarah, that's my sister. Tell here to call my mom so she can bring the spare set of keys over.
So that's what I did. I called and she was the one to actually answer the phone.
phone is answered
Me: "Hey, is the assistant manager named Sarah there?"
Her: "Yeah, that's me! What can I do for you?"
Me: "This is a bit odd, but I'm playing an online game with your brother Andrew, he stepped out for a smoke and locked himself out without a jacket... He doesn't have his phone, so he told me to call you so you could call your mom to see if she can bring the spare keys over."
Her: "Oh no, yeah I can do that. Are you one of my brothers friends?"
Me: "Nope, just met him online today. I live about 1,500 miles from your location."
Her: "Oh, okay well thanks for calling and letting me know. I'll call mom and let her know."
We say bye and phone call ends
About 5 minutes later I get a call from the same area code, different number though and it's dudes mom in a slight panic asking if her son was okay and having me let him know she was on her way right now. I played operator for about 20 minutes until she got to his place. One of the most interesting online gaming moments for me.
TL;DR Saved a kid from death by hypothermia.
8. Freestyling and literal wars to break the tension legionsr2
My raid group was pretty diverse, two guys from the bronx(sp?) myself and another from the UK and a few from Norway, Finland and one from Ukraine. We were pretty new to the game and hadn't cleared the final boss of a very tough raid yet - but we were coming close. One of the Bronx guys died straight away (lag issues constantly but we'll never kick him) but proceeded to do a live freestlye rap about what each person was doing in the raid in lieu of a commentary - shit was amazing - wish we had recording software back then.
Second was the Ukraine guy. Just signs onto TS one day and says "War has broken out, I won't be on for the raid" laughs, signs out and repeats the same message in game to the guildies who weren't on TS. Kinda worried for a few weeks but he eventually managed to contact one of us via our forum to say all was well and he'd moved to a new / safer city with family while things die down. Can't wait for him to get back - his DPS was straight up demonic.
9. Life is funny sometimes, RainyDayRainDear. Imagine if your kangaroo got loose.
A few years ago, I was in a Rift guild with the strangest California desert hicks. This couple lived in the hills outside San Diego on some big piece of property with their kids and the guy's parents. They were actually decent enough of players - he was an especially solid tank - but damn if they didn't interrupt raid for the craziest of reasons. One week it was kid with a broken arm, the next, the in-law's roof was on fire. The frequency and kind of incident were always enough to make the rest of us wildly speculate about what the hell kind of living situation these people had. The best time they interrupted raid?
"Guys, we gotta take 20, the kangaroo is loose again."
10. THAT'LL SHOW HIS DAD Nickbro9
Was playing league while talking to some guys over Teamspeak.Dude says he'll be right back, but leaves his mic on. Out of nowhere, you hear him and his dad getting into a massive fight. When the fight was nearly over, we heard the dad scream "AND WHY DOES YOUR ROOM SMELL LIKE SHIT?", and the kid replied "CAUSE I SHIT IN IT".Dude hasn't been back on that TS since.
11. That's remarkable considering that you and the seven other people playing World of Tanks heard that music MrJalepeno484
Was playing World of Tanks on Xbox 360, and this guy on my team, who was playing in a German tank, was blaring German military music from WW2 over the mic. It wasn't strange, more so an out of the blue sort of thing.
Edit: I'm guessing I should watch Girls und Panzer now. Also, I should get a PC ASAP and play Red Orchestra 2.
12. Cat people have cornered the market in Halo kills Conorlfcmd91
I was playing halo 3 with my brother one time when someone on the other team was 1 kill for 18 deaths or something similar. He was running around and shooting at people occasionally but generally missing a lot and dying.
Once the game is over we end up in the post game lobby with one person on the other team swearing at the guy that went 1/18. We hear a strange rustling noise followed by a rather drowsy sounding, 'Uhhh?' 'Dude what the fuck! How do you die 18 times and only get 1 kill?' 'Sorry dude I fell asleep in the lobby.' 'You were moving around!!!' 'We'll...uhhh... it's only me and my cat here.'
TL;DR- Someone either blamed their cat for their terrible performance in halo or one of us got killed by a cat.
13. Commitment to the cause, ladies and gentlemen insanetwit
A kid didn't want to drop from the game, so he went and took a crap... while still talking on live!
UNO games are intense!
edit: Holy Crap this blew up! It seems Xbox live UNO games were a shared experience of fucked up times! (Also I totally forgot about the live camera!)