With the release of every new Overwatch event, there comes an emotional journey that anyone who plays it goes through. It always happens in this exact way, without fail. Note that the following is based on true events.
SOMBRA CAN FINALLY SIT! ORISA CAN SIT TOO AND OMG IT'S CUTE! AND HOLY CRAP DID YOU SEE THE DANCE EMOTES? AND THE SENTAI GENJI SKIN? AND OH HOLY CRAP THE D.VA ONE JESUS CHRIST
I mean, I have to get ALL of them, obviously - but as for MUST haves, I've carefully weighed how much I truly want each one and narrowed it to down to "every single one except the stupid Lucio pick-up artist skin."
Wow - the new Arena maps look super-fun, they've got Total Mayhem back in the mix, and there are some really neat new sprays even! I can't wait to start playing!
Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy!
...oookay. Hm. Well, didn't really expect to get lucky on the first try. Next time will be better!
It's just a few bucks - and after all, with as much time as you've put into Overwatch, a few bucks more is practically nothing!
HMMMM. Okay, okay, well - now I'm DUE for some legendaries.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Let's hop into Arcade and try out some new modes and maps!
WELL I'LL JUST SHOW OFF MY COOL TORBJORN VOICE LINE, HOW ABOUT THAT.
YEAH PLAYING THOSE SHITTY ARENA MAPS WAS REALLY WORTH IT, GREAT.
I'm getting all worked up over this - it's just the first day, and I've probably just gotten all my bad luck outta the way. I'm practically guaranteed to get way more legendaries soon, now that I've gotten so many lame loot boxes already.
IT MAKES NO SENSE! I SEE GOLD AND I WIND UP WITH ONLY HALF THE COINS IT TAKES TO GET A NON-EVENT LEGENDARY SKIN? HOW DOES THAT WORK???
OKAY THE BASTION DANCE, THAT'S ACTUALLY NOT TOO BAD
OH GOOD THIS WILL PAIR NICLEY WITH MY TORBJORN VOICE LINE
AH GOOD TWO LUCIO THINGS THAT AREN'T TIED TO THE EVENT, GREAT
THREE SPRAYS?? THREE?!?!
I DON'T EVEN PLAY TORBJORN.
I'LL EVEN TAKE THE STUPID PICK-UP ARTIST LUCIO ONE! PLEASE, JUST ANYTHING.
A REAPER VOICE LINE GODDAMMIT WHO DO I MURDER TO FIX THIS