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Mystery Heroes is one of my more frequently played game modes in Overwatch - and not just because it's one way of getting those 3 Arcade Loot Boxes every week. The really nice thing about Mystery Heroes is that you are relieved of the pressure of having to adhere to any particular comp - like when your team REALLY needs another Tank, but you just reeeeeeeeally wanna play Junkrat...but go Reinhardt anyways because you don't want it to be YOUR fault your team got owned.

But Mystery Heroes is great because it removes that from the equation altogether - you get random heroes, so no one can be mad about team comp! And you also get to try out a bunch of heroes you wouldn't normally play! It can be incredibly freeing - but it also comes with a lot of frustrations. And if Blizzard just took these few pieces of advice from us, it could be THE PERFECT GAME MODE.

 

1. Let me nix 3 heroes completely

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First off, while it's great that you are randomly assigned a new character at the start of the match and after every death so that you are forced to try all sorts of heroes, there are SOME heroes you know you just don't want to play as. Heroes that you are just straight-up awful with and will never get better at. And - for some reason - these SEEM to be the heroes you get most frequently. So, please Blizzard, let us select three heroes in Settings so that we NEVER get them in Mystery Heroes.

I'm just awful with Widowmaker, Tracer, and Sombra. I'm bad with them and am very unlikely to ever get any better. So instead of being stuck playing heroes who make me miserable, just let me blacklist these 3 from my potential heroes - and give me ANY OTHER HEROES.

Trust me, the rest of my team would always be very happy for me not to be a real shitty Widowmaker as well.

 

2. Let Ultimates build - even when you die

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One of the most frustrating parts of Mystery Heroes is that when you die, you are assigned a new character and start from scratch, Ultimate percentage-wise (and even if you draw THE SAME HERO your meter goes back down to 0%). It becomes a case of "the rich getting richer" - since the team that starts pulling off their ultimates first will likely wreck the other team, and (unlike in other modes) won't get Ultimate'd back in retaliation soon after.

But if we could carry over that percentage to the next hero, the playing field would be leveled (to some degree) a lot more. At the very least, it would be a little more chaotic, and Mystery Heroes thrives on chaos.

Alternately, if you die when you're at like 99%, a message is blasted out "HEY FYI I WAS AT 99% GODDAMMIT FUCK" and then everyone can be like "ah shit sorry dude I should have covered you better for like one second more" and you can be like "NO SHIT REINHARDT WHY'D YOU DROP YOUR SHIELD AT THAT MOMENT??"

 

3. Please stop making me Widowmaker, I hate Widowmaker, I think you KNOW I hate Widowmaker and keep giving me her over and over. I haven't gotten Soldier 76 once in 4 rounds but I've gotten Widowmaker 5 times. How is that even possible?

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Please just stop making me Widowmaker. Especially on Attack Escort maps, when I have to sit in the beginning area for a full minute KNOWING I'm going to be worthless and shitty until I am mercifully killed by a Roadhog's hook.

 

4. Let me kill myself on Temple of Anubis and Hollywood

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One of the more common strategies that have emerged from the gameplay quirks of Mystery Heroes has been "suicide for reroll" - particularly on Defense Escort maps (since the Attack side is trapped in the beginning areas, with no way of killing themselves - except Pharah). However, there are two maps with no endless pits for you to fall down: Temple of Anubis and Hollywood.

No one is asking Blizzard to radically remake either map - just add a single, small pit near the spawn point of Temple of Anubis and Hollywood. This is the one time where suicide is a helpful thing - PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME PLAY AS WIDOWMAKER. Our team has no healers, at least give us a CHANCE at holding Objective A.

 

5. Shuffle characters between rounds on Control maps

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This seems like an easy one for Control maps. Too often Mystery Heroes rounds are won because one side wound up with an impossibly solid team comp that doesn't suffer many losses or switch-ups - when that dominant comp just rolls into the next round, odds are very much in their favor of crushing it again. So - let's hold Mystery Heroes to its premise and do a switch-up between rounds.

At least that way, I WON'T GET STUCK WITH WIDOWMAKER BETWEEN ROUNDS BECAUSE THE FIRST ROUND ENDED BEFORE I WAS ABLE TO JUMP OFF A LEDGE AND KILL MYSELF.

 

6. Get rid of the opening "Assemble Your Team" screen

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It literally doesn't matter at all. Everyone just chooses the same hero (Widowmaker 90% of the time) and then you all get randos. Except me, who somehow still gets Widowmaker.