cars

Cars is the most lucrative Pixar franchise that everyone seems to hate. On the surface, it's just a fun world filled with vehicles that talk like Owen Wilson and Tony Shalhoub. But the moment you start to pick apart the particulars, the series suddenly becomes a pitch-black tale of technology gone wrong.

The most burning question: Where are all the humans? The world seems to be our Earth, since landmarks like London's Big Ben are present and an American flag can be seen at one point. Conspiracy theorists have speculated that Cars is set in a universe where vehicles overthrew mankind, that there was an uprising and no humans were spared. The really scary part? A bigwig at Pixar just confirmed that exact scenario occurred. 

In a fantastic article for ScreenCrush, writer Matt Signer chatted with Pixar's Jay Ward, the creative director of the Cars franchise. When I say Ward wrote the book on Cars, I mean he literally wrote an internal document for Pixar establishing the rules of the characters in the Cars universe.

When asked about the the fate of humanity in a world where automobiles are the dominant lifeform, Ward said this

If you think about this, we have autonomous car technology coming in right now. It's getting to the point where you can sit back in the car and it drives itself. Imagine in the near-future when the cars keep getting smarter and smarter and after one day they just go, "Why do we need human beings anymore? They're just slowing us down. It's just extra weight, let's get rid of them."

Holy. Shit. The guy in charge of the Cars movies just acknowledged that prior to the events of the series, a massive uprising took place that resulted in the murder of every single human on the planet. If the movies were honest, they'd start with a prologue where killbot cars roll over piles of human skulls like the beginning of Terminator 2.

Now to be fair, Pixar itself isn't endorsing this theory -- only Jay Ward. But he's still the guy in charge of everything to do with Cars, so it's not like there's any higher authority that could speak on the subject. 

The ScreenCrush article also has some other juicy and/or disturbing tidbits concerning the Cars canon. Like, why does a sentient pickup truck sound like a redneck?

Well, Ward explains that too: 

But the car takes on the personality of the last person who drove it. Whoa. There you go.

So not only did vehicles destroy humanity, they also replaced it; millions, maybe billions of cars all over the globe absorbed the traits and quirks of people who would soon die in the carpocalypse. 

Even if we move past the creepy soul-sucking nature of the cute cast of characters, there's always the question of biology. If the Cars' eyes are the windshield and the mouth is the bumper, where's everything else?

cars

Ward clarified this as well, but his explanation of the rules only brought up more questions. 

"You'll never see the doors open," Ward said. "Because the brain and the eyes are in there, we don't want anything falling out of the side."

There are some things that we weren't meant to contemplate. And one of those things is the internal organs of a cartoon car unfurling out of an open passenger side door. 




Tristan Cooper can be found on Twitter