1. Teen Titans' endless parade of dick jokes

teen titans

There have been so many Teen Titans cartoons by now that it's kind of hard to keep track of them. Though each show has its own take on the squad of adolescent crimefighters, they all have one thing in common: A fondness for dick jokes. To be clear, we're not talking about Dick Grayson. 

Let me show you what I'm talking about here. In the show simply called "Teen Titans," the gang gets a box of toys modeled after themselves. Most of them are excited to have their own action figures, but not everyone is impressed. 

teen titans

teen titans

teen titans

In case you missed it, Beast Boy is looking down the pants of his smaller self and is apparently not pleased with what he sees -- which is presumably nothing, if Ken dolls are anything to go by. 

Young Justice's character designs aged up the team a bit, but they still had plenty of immature moments. In the episode "Bereft," the Titans lose their memories and struggle to regain lost time. Kid Flash, on the other hand, is just delighted about his color changing suit. 

Because he's Kid Flash, he can't stop tapping his chest to transform his outfit. Artemis eventually stops him.

flash

I don't think you can't blame this on amnesia. 

Teen Titans Go is the most divisive show of the three, but even if you aren't a fan you've got to be impressed with the quick sight gag during a cooking competition episode:

You could say Cyborg is "tenderizing ground beef with his fist" and that would be technically accurate, but come on, we all know what's happening here. He's beating his meat. That apron reads "FOOD PUN" only for this one shot and has a different design everywhere else it is seen. Cherish this, because it's not often that animators will literally spell out the joke for you.

2. A pair of precarious Pokemon punchlines

pokemon

It's a bit tougher to find off-color gags in anime dubbed for Western release, usually because a whole team of localizers combs over the script and weeds out stuff that might not be suitable for children. In a Japanese episode of Pokemon, for instance, Brock sees a picture of a preteen girl and says "She'll be fun in eight years!" This bit was altered for the English dub, probably because the distributors thought it was a bad idea to introduce American third graders to the concept of "jailwaiting." 

That being said, there are a couple of risque moments that seem to have slipped by the censors. In an episode of Pokemon X/Y, Team Rocket exits the episode a bit earlier than planned, and the way they say it, well...

It is impossible to pair the term "prematurely" with words like "exploding," "erupting" or "blasting off" without thinking about some dude blowing his load too early. You probably thought about it before you finished that sentence. It's okay, nobody has to know you read this. I mean, I'd turn around and check just to be sure no one's behind you, but you're probably cool. Probably. 

Later on in Pokemon XYZ, we get a disturbing glimpse into the sexual fantasies of grade schoolers. Seriously, I don't know how else to interpret this.

pokemon

pokemon

Okay, so Bonnie here is actually making up a story about her bigger brother. But the fact remains that someone drew up a half-naked boy being constricted by an Arbok and loving it. As a rule I don't like to kinkshame, but right now that's conflicting with my other rule of not wanting to see 10 year olds aroused by cartoon snakes. 


3. The stuff Gumball gets away with is unbelievable

gumball

We've talked a bit about Gumball before -- specifically, that time the title character was implied to have given a blowjob to a balloon in the school bathroom. As it turns out, the twisted bastards behind the show have been sneaking that kind of stuff in constantly. 

Here, tell me what this looks like to you.

You don't need any context for this scene. Gumball accidentally stumbles into Banana Joe's house and catches his friend looking what looks to be hardcore fruit porn. Tear your eyes away from the orange for one second and you can see what is clearly a box of tissues next to the laptop. Without a doubt, Banana Joe is blasting off again. 

When moments like that are so unambiguously dirty, it really makes you reconsider the intent behind other questionable parts of the show. 

Yes, a bear just popped that guy's cherry. Granted, he isn't wearing an apron that says "FOOD PUN" on it, but he doesn't need to -- because Gumball spells it out for us seconds later. 

gumball

If you're still not quite clear what the punchline means, I would recommend looking up "bear" and "cherry" on UrbanDictionary without your parents in the room. Or we can move onto a good ol' dick joke. 

There is a character in the Gumball universe named Hot Dog Guy. He is called that because he is a big walking hot dog. One time, he was taking a hot shower and Gumball turned on the cold water. Then this happened.

If you're not clear on what this means, you should watch the episode of Seinfeld about "shrinkage." It's okay if your parents are in the room for that one -- they've probably seen it.