After a deep dive into the Japanese fan art community (one that will leave an indelible scar on our  browser history) we found this very entertaining twist on the Dragonball Z Universe. In these short diagrams, artist Cleome-Red showcases how you can keep yourself safe from Yamcha, anime's #1 punchline and the "weakest" character in a show full of planet-destroying alien monkey-gods.

Oh, and before some easily-excitable MMA fans pipes up in the comments, this is probably not the BEST way to defend yourself from attackers in the actual 3D world.

Session 1: Bulma

bulma yamcha self defense
"When you are grabbed from behind, bend your elbows so that both hands are resting against your hips."

yamcha thing stomp
"Stomp down on one leg, causing Yamcha to loosen his grip, and then grasp one of his hands."

Yamcha bulma thing
While grasping Yamcha's hand, slip away causing his arm to be twisted."

yamcha bulma
"Using both hands, twist with everything you've got, and in the moment Yamcha's guard collapses, knee him in the face."

Session 2: Chichi

dragonball funny comic
"Coming from behind, Yamcha catches you by suprise."

yamcha attacks loli
"From Yamcha's instep, stomp down causing severe pain"

"In a burst, swing both arms at once! Opening left and right, escape Yamcha's grip!"

chichi wreks Yamcha
"Now free, half-turn the body and strike Yamcha's face."

Session 3: Android 18

"When Yamcha attacks from the front and tries to grasp the neck,"

android 18 defense guide
"duck your head quickly, tucking below Yamcha's arms."

yamcha dbz anime
"Extending fully, counter with a headbutt directly under Yamcha's chin."

Yamcha thing
"Repeatedly land knee kicks focusing on the groin."

"Once Yamcha is close enough, strike the neck with your elbow."

knee to the face
"Then hold down Yamcha's head firmly in both hands and knee forcefully in the face."

"Once Yamcha is on the ground, stand next to him and raise your leg as high as you can."

android 18 self defense sexy
"Hammer down on Yamcha's side as hard as you can."