There is really no excuse for any Pokemon to not be constantly miserable: their lives are essentially a worse version of the life of a cockfight chicken, because at least there the chicken has a pretty good chance of dying, whereas the Pokemon will just get burned, paralyzed, poisoned, etc. and then healed right back up. Worse, society views treating them like this in a positive light - and somehow most of their economy is built entirely around Pokemon tearing each other to shreds. But in this nightmare world, there are some Pokemon that are way more miserable than the rest. We covered the first batch previously, and here are 10 more.
"Whismur is very timid. If it starts to cry loudly, it becomes startled by its own crying and cries even harder. When it finally stops crying, the Pokémon goes to sleep, all tired out." (Sapphire)
What would make you start crying if you were a Pokemon? If I were a Pokemon, it would probably be something like "my entire existence." If you're not wandering through the grass or in a cave or in the water waiting to attack literally any person who walks by, you're a slave-fighter for someone who is using you for financial and personal gain. That would have me crying a lot. And if I were Whismur, my crying would escalate and escalate, putting me in a state of sadness and terror, until I literally pass out from exhaustion. Realizing that would happen every day for the rest of my life? That would also make me cry.
"Numel is extremely dull witted - it doesn't notice being hit. However, it can't stand hunger for even a second. This Pokémon's body is a seething cauldron of boiling magma." (Ruby)
"Numel stores magma of almost 2,200 degrees F within its body. If it gets wet, the magma cools and hardens. In that event, the Pokémon's body grows heavy and its movements become sluggish." (Sapphire)
Being "extremely dull-witted" by your very nature has got to be depressing, but then throw in being totally unaware when you're being injured and completely unable to deal with being hungry for even a second, and you've got a recipe for total misery. Luckily, their body is literally full of lava, which wouldn't be too bad, if only it didn't turn to rock the instant it gets wet, and makes a dumb constantly eating Pokemon who is can't tell if you're punching it really slow on top of everything else.
"If it is attacked, Cascoon remains motionless however badly it may be hurt. It does so because if it were to move, its body would be weak upon evolution. This Pokémon will also not forget the pain it endured." (Sapphire)
Of all the cocoon Pokemon (and, wow, there are enough that that phrase is actually a thing), Cascoon has it the worst. And given that "being trapped in a cocoon" is one of the most horrifying conditions for any living being to go through (you are in a prison of your own making as your body mutates into something entirely new), being the worst off is a pretty terrifying proposition. It has to play dead as it is attacked by (if it's lucky) fellow Pokemon, and it retains every last detail of the pain inflicted upon it for the rest of its life. Well, at least it gets to have its vengeance when it evolves into...a weak, poisonous moth? Cascoon, sorry to tell ya this, but those internet videos lied - it doesn't get better.
"It is very weak. Its only means of defense is to shake its leaves desperately at its attacker." (Crystal)
Not sure if you noticed, but "shaking leaves desperately" tends to be one of the least effective ways to ward off predators. But when you're a sentient nut with no limbs, you do what you can.
"They say that it will appear before kindhearted, caring people and shower them with happiness." (Gold)
All Togetic wants is to find someone nice and make them happy. Unfortunately, the reality of the Pokemon universe is that it will be captured by someone who is unquestionably not a nice, caring person, since they're totally cool with turning animals into their own personal battle minions.
"Its fine fur feels so pleasant, those who accidentally touch it cannot take their hands away." (White2)
Wigglytuff, like Clefable, is another adorable-looking Pokemon that is always seconds away from total misery. Imagine being a free Wigglytuff, wandering through some tall grass, when some random bug trainer happens to accidentally bump into you. That's it. That trainer will start rubbing up against your fur and not stop. They'll feel you up and there's nothing you or them can do about it. Your life is getting frequently violated by random passersby who literally cannot help themselves. Best case scenario: you get caught by one of these creepy trainers and only have to worry about one person getting too handsy with you from now on.
"They absorb garbage and make it part of their bodies. They shoot a poisonous liquid from their right-hand fingertips." (White)
Hey, remember that spoiled milk you threw out a couple weeks ago? Pretty gross, right? Well, imagine a creature making it a part of their body. Not drinking it or anything, but making it an actual part of their body. That's what Garbodor is. It's a being made of your stinky, disgusting garbage. A constantly-decaying, rancid abomination. And since Garbodors have genders, that means that milk carton might end up as its genitals. Think about that.
"Whenever Lickitung comes across something new, it will unfailingly give it a lick. It does so because it memorizes things by texture and by taste. It is somewhat put off by sour things." (Ruby/Sapphire)
"Its tongue spans almost 7 feet and moves more freely than its forelegs. Its licks can cause paralysis." (Yellow)
So, Lickitung can only really understand things by licking them. Not an ideal life (who knows if it might end up licking something poisonous, which is very likely in the world of Pokemon, given that it's an entire TYPE of Pokemon), but not exactly something inherently miserable. Oh, but wait, it's huge tongue (that's about twice as big as its body) also can cause paralysis! Which means the things its trying to understand by licking might also accidentally lose the ability to move. Everything it comes in contact with, it might hurt in a horrible fashion. It's like that owl from the Tootsie Pop commercials nightmare.
"It has an acute sense of hearing. It can easily hear a pin being dropped nearly 1,100 yards away." (FireRed)
Looking at Clefable, you'd assume it's as happy as could be. It's always smiling, it has big bright eyes that seem full of wonder, and its name indicates some sort of magical merriment. But it's not happy. It's miserable. It can hear a pin being dropped over half a mile away. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad in a world where pin drops were the loudest thing going on, but Clefable happens to live in a world where EARTHQUAKES are being caused on a frequent basis, sometimes right next to it. Where kid trainers are shouting commands at it constantly. Where there are even Pokemon who specialize in being loud as hell.
"Xatu stands rooted and still in one spot all day long. People believe that this Pokémon does so out of fear of the terrible things it has foreseen in the future." (Ruby)
Xatu has the most horrible power of all: knowledge. Knowledge of an unthinkably horrible future, so terrifying that it is frozen with fear for its entire existence. Has it seen being shoved in the third box of Bill's PC? Being trapped in a tiny ball for all time? Or, perhaps the most terrifying possible future...one where it might be stuck as an HM slave?