Pokemon Go developer Niantic held a special panel at San Diego Comic-Con this weekend, and while they didn't give us hope that they'll fix that accursed "three-step bug" any time soon, the team did unveil official Team Leaders for Valor, Mystic and Instinct. Valor's Candela, Mystic's Blanche and Instinct's Spark all became instant favorites with the internet, and suddenly imagined narratives and projected personality traits sprung up around these new heroes.
So how did each of the Team Leaders shake out, according to Twitter? Let's just say it's not a great day to be on Team Instinct...
Blanche looks like a surfing dentist-- MAND.vA (@bbbreakfasttt) July 24, 2016
Blanche: We need a plan-- Kyou (@ningiou) July 24, 2016
Candela: I have an idea.
Blanche: We can't murder anyone.
Candela: I don't have any ideas.
Blanche and candela are good, spark looks like he just got home from the kingdom hearts convention-- Cassie is Here (@FerretParty) July 24, 2016
me before today: haha valor sucks-- sophie (@starpatches) July 24, 2016
me now: i've made a huge mistake
I am VERY happy with Team Leader Blanche, thank you pic.twitter.com/utnj8ZLYSS-- Naomi Hicks (@nayhomes) July 24, 2016
Headcanon that Blanche and Candela don't trust YouTube links from Spark because he's rick rolled them too many times-- Hyper Harebell (@HyperHare88) July 24, 2016
Candela: Fire Queen-- naruto uzumaymay (@minusquel) July 24, 2016
Blanche: Ice Conqueror
Spark: Meme Lord
Team Instinct boy seems like the type of dude who ran outta styling gel like seven years ago and started using toothpaste instead-- Bloody Honey (@BloodyBHoney) July 24, 2016
--Blanche are you a boy or a girl-- Increíble bishie (@FriKitty) July 24, 2016
--I'm team Mystic
--But what's in your pants
team instinct originating not from kanto or johto, but from flavortown-- ▽ Erica June ▽ (@aurahack) July 24, 2016
being stuck with Spark is the most Team Instinct thing that could have happened to me and as a proud member of Team Instinct I embrace it-- your pal ched (@royalpizzaboy) July 24, 2016
spark: lmao you dare me to lick dirt?-- Achoo (@strobinglight) July 24, 2016
candela and blanche: no
spark: -laughs- you're crazy i can't believe you guys are making me do this
candela: is there a word that's a mix between angry and sad?-- tess(ica) (@batsugeemu) July 24, 2016
blanche: malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated
Blanche: knowledge!-- Jared Rosen (@notquitefrodo) July 24, 2016
Spark: men have been left behind by pc society
Blanche: oh my god
Candela: jesus dude
spark: can we go get mcdonalds-- iris (@Iovewing) July 24, 2016
candela: no blanche is cooking us a nice dinner at home
spark: *wipes tears* i hate this fukcin family
Pokemon nicknames-- Chase (@VaultedVagabond) July 24, 2016
Candela: this is my Charizard inferno
Blanche: I refer to them by their proper names
Spark: this is donglord my jolteon
Spark looks like the character you'd first be like "ugh" towards, but then you see them in the show and they're your favorite character.-- Paulina Ganucheau (@PlinaGanucheau) July 24, 2016