One of the great things about Pokemon Go is how little we know about it. Nintendo just sent it out into the wild and let people sort everything out for themselves. That might seem like kind of a pain in the ass, but the way people have come together to swap stories and share information has been one of the best parts of the game. The downside is that this has led to a lot of misinformation being spread around. So let's clear the air on some of the biggest misconceptions about Pokemon Go.
Unless you happen to live or work near a Pokestop, you might find yourself coming up short of Pokeballs once you get to higher levels. It makes sense that people would want to believe that you could tap the screen to recoup your losses after that Magikarp backflipped right over your Pokeball. But that just doesn't work. Despite what IGN might tell you, touching a missed Pokeball does nothing at all. If you toss a Pokeball out there and your inventory reads the same number as before, that's probably the game lagging out, something that Pokemon Go players are all too familiar with. Don't let this become the next "Hold Down + B to Capture Pokemon," you guys.
A Pokemon game wouldn't be complete without Eevee and its various Eeevee-lutions. Normally in the main series, you can choose whether you get a Flareon, Jolteon or Vaporeon by exposing Eevee to a corresponding stone. But since Pokemon Go doesn't use items in that way, for the mobile game Eevee just evolves into one of the three forms at random. Some people have said that you can tell what Eevee will become by its moveset, or the particular team that's holding down the nearby gym -- but that's a Garbador-sized bag of shit. You have the exact same chance of getting a Flareon as you do a Vaporeon or Jolteon. But that doesn't mean the RNG Gods won't smite you with five Flareons in a row.
UPDATE: Looks like there might be a real, verified way to evolve your Eevees. Intrepid Reddit users have discovered that naming your Eevee Pyro, Sparky or Rainer before they evolve will get you a Flareon, Jolteon or Vaporeon, respectively. Apparently it only works once for each type of evolution, so be enjoy it while you can. Gotta give it to Niantic for such a clever nod to these Eevee trainers (Pyro, Sparky and Rainer) from the cartoon:
Thanks to everyone who commented and corrected us on OUR misleading bullshit!
Good and bad, there have been a lot of insane stories about Pokemon Go so far. Players have run across loaded guns and multiple dead bodies, ex-Marines on a hunt for Snorlax caught a wanted criminal, and two dudes even walked off a goddamned cliff. But so far -- so far -- no one has died. You may have read something about a massive highway accident caused by a careless prick playing the game while driving, or seen a Facebook post about a kid murdering his brother over deleted Pokemon, but these are bogus stories. Plenty of worthless no-name sites like CartelPress are writing these completely fabricated "parody" articles just to get hits, so remember to double-check the source before you share. To be safe, only consider it trustworthy if it's a major network, one of the last remaining newspapers or uh, a certain geek-focused site that mostly posts comics about sex moves.
That being said, if we're being honest with ourselves, it's probably only a matter of time before Pokemon Go is involved in a death, direclty or indirectly. We've all wanted to kill our brothers after they erased our save files, after all.
It's still kind of tough to figure out what Pokemon will show up where. Some folks have reported an overabundance of Doduos, and some haven't seen a single instance of the two-headed ostritch monstrosity. Going by anecdotal reports, it does seem like certain Pokemon are attracted to certain climates, like water Pokemon showing up near rivers, grass Pokemon at golf courses and snake Pokemon in Australian toilets. The Silph Road took it a step further and attempted to take broad scientific samples to prove what was suspected. They found that the climate, temperature and humidity have an effect on what Pokemon show up where -- Fire Pokemon will be more likely to show up in a desert, and that makes total sense.
But after their findings, the team was very pessimistic about rainfall affecting Pokemon appearance rates. Which also makes sense -- you'd figure it'd be much easier to hammer out the average climate of an area, since there's tons of data on that. But to factor in active weather at any given moment would probably involve constant access to meteorological data. Streaming this to 20 million phones would probably incinerate the servers, and they're already on fire half the time anyway.
By now you may have seen a few chuckleheads claiming to have found a Mew, maybe the most sought-after Pokemon of the original 151. Being the first one to find one of these digital unicorns would make you Internet Famous for at least six or seven minutes, so Photoshopped fakes were inevitable. So how do you know which Mews are real and which ones aren't? Well, it's easy. As of now, nobody on Earth has a Mew in Pokemon Go, so you can assume everyone who claims otherwise is a big fat phony. Judging from what a YouTube user found, files for Mew, Articuno, Zapdos, Moltres, Mewtwo and even Ditto do exist -- but they aren't available to be caught. Many have speculated that these Legendary Pokemon are being saved for special events, which is in line with what Nintendo has done for Pokemon in the past; same goes for developer Niantic, whose previous app Ingress was basically Pokemon Go without Pokemon.