1. Where was Ghost for the entire battle?


There was a lot going on in that battle, you probably noticed. Horses scared shitless charging every which way, thousands of muddy men butchering thousands of other muddy men, mountains of fresh corpses and a bona-fide giant ruining people's lives. In the claustrophobic chaos, everyone forgot about Ghost. Just where in the hell was that albino direwolf, anyway? It's not like Jon Snow to leave his most loyal companion behind in a cage somewhere. Ghost would be more than willing to rip out a few throats, and Jon's army was short-handed as it was. A giant bloodthirsty beast would come in pretty handy right about here:


Granted, Jon's killstreak was so epic that he could have called in a tactical nuke in Call of Duty, but it's not like Ghost would have been a burden. 

Then again, Ghost's absence would have definitely complicated things for the production team. This battle already took a whole friggin' month to film, with hundreds of extras and dozens of horses to wrangle. It turned out pretty awesome on the whole, so you can almost forgive the oversight for the logistical nightmare a white CGI wolf would have been. Plus, you just know that Ghost would have died if he were in that battle. Wun-Wun was tragic enough already.

2. Do the Greyjoys have a teleporter or what?


The passage of time has always been pretty hazy when it comes to Game of Thrones. We accept that Bran has grown about three feet every year because that's the reality of television, but the in-universe timeline is unforgivably muddy. It's never clear how much time has passed where and when, and characters like Littlefinger seem to magically appear in one place and then another -- despite this being a vast world without the benefit of air travel (you know, besides dragons).

But this week it got even stranger. Apparently overnight -- and during a siege, no less -- the Greyjoys suddenly materialize in Daenerys' chambers. You can appreciate how much the scene moved things forward in a short amount of time, but it was a bit too concise. The Game of Thrones world is fairly large and it takes forever to get anywhere, but the Greyjoys are speeding around on what seems like hypersonic jets.

game of thrones map

After Theon and Yara flee the Iron Islands to get away from their murderous uncle Euron, it takes about two episodes before they're in Volantis groping the local ladies. And then another two episodes later, they've already navigated around the Stone Men-riddled ruins of Valyria and made their way into Meereen. That's an insane amount of distance to cover, all while only days have passed in the rest of the world.

Again, we don't know at what speed each storyline is taking place -- maybe the Greyjoy stuff was set in a period way before the rest of this season -- but that's never really clear. For now, the only logical explanation is that King Kai taught Theon the power of Instant Transmission. 

3. Why didn't Davos ask about Shireen earlier?


We're all wondering what Davos is going to do next episode, now that he knows what he knows. The improbably-indestructable toy he found in a burnt pile told him what we'd seen with our eyes: Stannis and Melisandre burned a young girl at the stake in a vain sacrifice. It just so happens that Davos was pretty close to Shireen -- she taught him how to read and comforted him after his sons died at the Battle of the Blackwater. Losing the last person he truly loved has to be pretty rough on Davos, so you can imagine he'll want some kind of retribution. 

But the thing is, he already asked Melisandre about Shireen at the end of the last season, after Stannis met Brienne's steel. 

game of thrones

When asked about Shireen's whereabouts, Mel just didn't say anything. Everyone can agree that a silent, sullen expression is universal TV language for "Uh, they died," but it's super strange for Davos to just let it go and never follow up. There were plenty of moments that he could have brought the subject up all season. Starting the line of questioning should have been as simple as "How are you alive and Shireen isn't?" but that moment never came to pass. 

Judging from the previews, we'll get some closure on this storyline in the finale, but it still doesn't sit right that Davos would suddenly forget someone he cared about so deeply.

4. Where did they get all of those Winterfell banners?


After the day is won and Winterfell is retaken, a muted celebration follows. Melisandre looks on and gives a half-smile as the tacky Bolton banners are replaced with the classy Stark colors. But uh, where the hell did those Stark banners come from? They're in such neat condition, it almost seems like Ramsay did them the courtesy of keeping them in a cool dry place during his tenure as Lord of Winterfell. That doesn't seem likely, however, coming from the guy who feeds babies to his starving hounds. Maybe Theon teleported some banners over from whatever the hell timeline he's in. 

5. Why wouldn't Sansa just tell Jon to hold off until the Littlefinger's army arrived?

game of thrones

We get it, dealing with Littlefinger is a sticky situation. It makes sense that Sansa wouldn't trust him because she knew there'd be a price to come with the help of his army, and it also makes sense that she'd give in and help out her brother (and her people). But Sansa did write that letter once she realized how dire things were, and she knew that Littlefinger was coming eventually. So why not tell her brother the truth?

It's not like she didn't have chances. At one point, Sansa urges Jon to stay back and wait til they gather more forces. Jon disagrees because he doesn't think any more men are going to join them, and that's when Sansa should have blurted "YeahbutImadeadealwithLittlefingerandidnttellyou dontbemadatmeee..." But she kept quiet... for some reason? Now, we did get what was maybe the best battle sequence in the history of television as a result, but it's still kind of lame that they had to dumb down these characters just to get there.

6. How awesome was it to see Ramsay devoured by an adorable dog?

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So awesome.

Tristan Cooper complains about things he loves on Twitter.