5. The Chipettes skeeve everyone out with third-grader "sex appeal"


The world of Alvin and the Chipmunks used to be so simple. For the longest time, it was just the three rodent brothers and their caretaker, Dave. For The Alvin Show, a lewd easter egg could be something as small and innocuous as Theodore giving the middle finger during a song. 

But then The Chipettes came into view. Of course, female chipmunks isn't a bad idea in and of itself. It's sort of troubling that Brittany, Jeanette and Eleanor are basically mirror images of Alvin, Simon and Theodore, but you could argue that some female representation is better than none. You could argue that, until you see the sketchiest part of the feature film The Chipmunk Adventure.

Let's forget the part of the movie where a racist caricature of a young Arabian prince demands that his guards capture Brittany in order to make her "one of my brides." It's a little tougher to dismiss the fact that the sheik dresses the girls in revealing belly dancer outfits that look like Slave Leia was redesigned by Baby Gap. Worst of all is the musical number that comes when the girls try to escape; in order to "charm" the snakes that guard their exit, the Chipettes sing a song that will send shivers down your spine.

The song "Getting Lucky" is not vague. The lyrics --which, again, are sung by third graders wearing Slutty Genie costumes from a college Halloween party -- insist that getting lucky is "what it's all about" and also "something I can't do without." Some have contended that the meaning of "getting lucky" has changed over the years, but the fact remains that these children are seducing nature's most phallic creatures in wildly inappropriate outfits. It's basically 4chan: The Movie.

6. ReBoot's name game

reboot joke

ReBoot didn't have to do much. After all, it was one of the first-ever ongoing television cartoons to be rendered entirely with CGI. But then some people went ahead and made it a quality TV show. And its doughy look, while dated now, still works thanks to the conceit of the characters living inside of a computer. 

Much of the action revolved around the unseen "User" loading up games into the Mainframe, after which Guardians like Bob would have to defend his home turf as the AI opponent. One of the more memorable uploads was "Pantsu Hebi X," a fictional Japanese game that was a wild mix of Dragon Ball Z and Pokemon.

Three takeaways here. 1) ReBoot is pretty fucking rad. 2) Pantsu Hebi X translated to English is "Panty Snake X," an audacious reference which was presumably able to slip under the radar because no one had Google Translate.  3) How is there not already a Japanese video game called Panty Snake X?

5. Steven Universe's sex dances and junk jokes

steven universe

One of the best things Cartoon Network has going for it right now has to be Steven Universe. No matter what you might think of its rabid fanbase, the show itself radiates joy. Not only is SU's inclusiveness inviting, but it's pretty progressive in the way it depicts sexuality on TV. At the same time, you can't help but be impressed by the stuff the show has gotten away with. 

Fusions, for example, are a big part of the show. The concept involves two of the female alien Gems combining with a dance, not unlike the brotacular Dragon Ball Z. Every pair of Gems has a different fusion dance, but almost all of them are sexually suggestive in one way or another. The jam between Garnet and Amethyst specifically is extremely intense, even for other characters on the show.

steven universe

The show explains that fusions are the most intimate act two Gems can share, but holy schmamoly Amethyst just ran head first into Garnet's vagina. Even Pearl doesn't think Steven is ready to see what just happened.

Okay fine, the fusion dance isn't exactly a "joke." This is probably closer to what you're looking for. 

steven universe

The episode "Arcade Mania" is more or less based around an arcade game called "Meat Beat Mania," which might as well be called "Spank Spank Revolution" or "Chicken Choking Championship: Get it? Because of Jerking Off." 

At least other games in the arcade are a little more ambiguous. 

steven universe

See? That's pretty harmless, almost a non-starter. But the thing is, this scene is from "So Many Birthdays," in which Steven magically grows up for a short time. He gets bored of the mob-themed Whack-a-Mole clone, and then says this:

steven universe

Oh, sweet Steven, if you only went to sex ed, you'd know that whackering is in fact the favorite pasttime of boys on the cusp on manhood.

Steven at least doesn't know what he's saying. Amethyst, on the other hand, is coarse on purpose. That much is made clear when she offers to help Steven's dad clear out his cluttered storage unit.

steven universe

steven universe

Amethyst's line delivery is so spot-on that it launched countless fan theories and steamy fanfics. I mean, so I've been told.