PROS: Filled with teenagers expressing themselves and having fun in a safe environment.

CONS: Everyone is shy yet loud at the same time, it's a perfect storm of awkward conversations.

A geeky rite of passage as you and 8 of your friends dress up like pokemon and get wasted in a Ramada Inn conference room. There's a poorly attended rave and everyone is dancing spastically in ways that can only be achieved by the most caucasion of tweens. You meet the voice of Goku (well, technically he USED to be) and throughout the weekend you will hear every meme ever created spoken out loud. In a fit of hunger and poor budgeting you will end up eating Pocky for dinner.



PROS: Experience new games before anyone else in the entire world!

CONS: The infinite cringeyness of failed tech demos.

You made the pilgrimage to the place where new videogames are born. You wait for hours to play the beta for that thing you heard about and it's pretty good! You walk past hundreds of indie developers whose desperation hits you like hot gusts of wind. Your cellphone will run out of battery and there are different dubstep tracks being blasted from 6 distinct sources. At one point you witness a cosplay so realistic that your brain entertains the idea that maybe you've been TRON'd into the videogame world.



PROS: Celebrate your favorite franchises and see sneak previews for upcoming movies!

CONS: Finally know what it means to be human cattle.

You struggle to move as you're surrounded by over 100,000 fellow nerds. Lines stretch into the horizon and nobody knows what they're for. You manage to get a seat in hall H and you treasure it like a son. You witness a sneak preview of the new Avengers movie and it makes the whole experience seem totally worth it, until you hear about how the people at the Star Wars panel got a full trailer AND commemorative replica lightsabers. Throughout the building there are whispers of mysterious colorful pamphlets called "comic books" but nobody seems to know where to find them.



PROS: It's kind of like Game of Thrones!

CONS: Under no circumstances should you mention Game of Thrones.

You thought this would be fun but it's 97 degrees outside and there's way more horse poop than you expected. Aged cleavege explodes out of bodices and grown adults are actively choosing to watch juggling for fun. You briefly entertain the idea of abandoning your career and family to learn the art of falconry. There is an offensive amount of pewter for sale but it's also the only gathering on this list where the overpriced food is 100% worth it. Scotch eggs 4 LIFE.



PROS: It's the future of entertainment!

CONS: It's the future of entertainment.

Either this is a MOBA championship and you're watching highly focused players engage at the height of their skill level. Or this is a fighting game tournament and somebody just lit fireworks indoors and took their shirt off mid-match. 



PROS: Find out which celebrities are actually super nice!

CONS: Find out which celebrities you mistakenly thought died 5 years ago.

Remember that character from that show you liked? What if you could meet them now that they're sadder, older, and desperately in need of money? But that's not all! Experience the thrill of haggling with a 50-year-old man over a Star Trek toy in near-mint condition that he has preserved in his home since 1968! Come on Edgar, $30? You're busting my balls here.



PROS: Everyone here seems SUPER friendly.

CONS: The smell of bodies that had spent all day encased in fake leather.

Ok, this one was advertised as "Baron Von Trouser's Steampunk Cotillion", but the air is unnervingly moist and you see a lot of people exchanging hotel room keys. Everyone has hickies peeking from beneath their elaborate outfits and there is a 5'1 woman leading along chubby guy in zombie makeup on a leash. You want to make judgements but you heard that Mortimer just whipped up a batch of his famous "absinthe-colodas" and you're feeling adventurous.